In Year 1 and crying every morning at school gate

[AndiMac]

DD started again last week and has been crying every morning saying she doesn't like school and she doesn't want me to leave as I leave her at the school gate and I don't what, if anything, I should do about it.

In reception, she had days when she was very reluctant to see me leave and would cry, but they were only sporadic, once every few weeks. Usually if she was still tired in the morning from a busy day or slightly late night or if we were running late and I had lost my temper with them before school. I have been nothing but sweetness the past 4-5 school days and she's getting 12 hours sleep, so it's not that.

I thought it might be because in year 1 they are expected to go into school by themselves. In reception throughout the year we could take them into the class, but by the end I would leave her at the coat pegs and she'd be fine other than the above mentioned occasional mornings.

I know she settles down within a few minutes once she's in and she comes out of school happy. And that's happy with the day that happened, not happy because it's over.

She now wakes up, comes into me and says first thing, "I don't want to go to school. I don't like school." I've asked her why and she claims it's because she has to work all the time, but she enjoys learning and doesn't struggle to do any of the work, so it's not like it's hard for her. Plus I know that they are breaking them in gently in year 1, it's not suddenly 6 hours, sitting at the table. I'm just concerned because I believe that if you tell yourself something often enough, it becomes true, so I don't want her to start hating school when she has another 11 years (at least) of this to go still!

I understand that it's probably nothing to worry about, that she'll soon realise this is the new routine and that's the way it is, but it still bothers me.

Any advice?

[Gin30]

My daughter did this in year 1 which was a surprise as she didn't do it in Reception or Nursery.

I think it was a shock from the change of reception to year 1. Its more formal and less play. Her teacher was a lot stricter too but after a while she loved her and it did get easier.

There were quite a few kids who were the same. Don't worry, its normal I think

[t1meout]

Mine is doing this too - I cried this morning after the school run. Teacher and TAs seem to be rubbish at dealing with it, so I feel like I am on my own.

I am going to prepare her beforehand by saying we will do two kisses and then you go in; wait by the door so she can be first and won't get pushed out of the way by thoughtless parents; ask the teacher/TA if they can take her hand and lead her into the classroom fairly firmly, distracting her with a job (they are talking to her like she has a choice about going at the moment and seem really nervous about taking control unlike the reception staff who were brilliant).

[noramum]

I agree it seems to be quite a difference between YR and Y1. DD also commented that they have to sit on desks, no more spontaneous playtimes and the teacher is quite strict incorporating these changes.

And this despite the last half-term of preparations in YR.

I would have a word with her teacher. Maybe the teacher can explain more about why the class is so different and if your DD isn't the only one she can change the day a bit.

[t1meout]

need to practise my strike-through

[AndiMac]

Thanks for the responses people. It makes me feel better just knowing there's others in the same position. I think I'll let it be for a few days and see if she settles down. If she doesn't, then I'll speak with the teachers. They are good about taking her at the gate pretty firmly and saying they have a job for her, but maybe there's something else to be done if it continues. We shall see.

[AndiMac]

Just thought I'd come back to this to say that DD has settled down nicely. Partly I think getting used to the way things are in Y1 vs YR and partly because now we meet another family on the way there and she then has a friend to talk with all the way to school, so there's no worries about feeling alone. Thanks again for all your support.

[Goonatic]

I am a year one teacher and it is very common, especially in girls. Having a job to do is a good idea! I bet she is ok once she is actually in school? Can you ask the teacher that? If she continues to be upset throughout the day then you probably need to have a chat.