Moving schools in the reception year

[Hyssna]

Our son started reception in January. He seems to be settling in ok but then again, he is quite a laid back boy that takes things in his stride. The teachers say he is 'confident' and 'self reliant'. However, we (I mainly) don't feel overly happy with the school and it's difficult to pin point why. I have tried to explain below. We are therefore thinking of moving him and I was wondering if anyone had any experience of moving your child out of school, mainly reception.

You know what you got but not what you are going to get. I feel so unsure about it I felt that I just had to get some other parents opinions about it.

We live in between the two schools, equal distance. When we were choosing schools we picked the school that he is in now since it's seem very well run and had Outstanding a few years ago. The other school, where he went to pre-school had a a chaotic leadership and it appeared very disorganized. I am not the most organised of people so I felt I needed a school that was switched on. Nevertheless, the school itself was/is lovely, bright, clean and has an great outdoor playground, quite big which is unusual for a inner city London school. They also have a fantastic after school club on site. Since we made our choice the head teacher left (stress apparently) and they have appointment a new head, they are also part of three schools that will have a 'super head'. They take advice from each other. It's also in a leafy residential area whereas when we go to the school where he's at we have to cross a very busy road and the school itself is next to a busy road. The playground is quite boring and bare and, this might just be be me, it doesn't appear to be a very friendly school, somehow the 'architecture' of the school doesn't seem to be set up for that. My son has made some friends but he's not the kind of boy that throws himself into groups, he will stand back for quite a while, doing his own thing. The last few weeks he has started mentioning some boys and what they do. They seem to like playing 'baddies' and with the toy trucks.

Oh, and the other school (where we are thinking of moving him to) is going to be a three form entry from September. So far it's been just two. So it's going to be a quite a large school but until then they will have masses of space which might be an advantage.

I suppose in all honesty I feel more at home at the other school (where he went to pre school) but this might be because I 'know' (at least from the face) more people there and also the kids don't wear uniform which is something that really appeals to me. You might wonder why I didn't choose this school from the start but for all the reasons above and at the time his school now just seemed like the better option. I was always unsure though.

Sorry, a bit of a rambling post was trying to keep it simple. Not sure I achieved it. Would love some feedback about this as I just don't know what to do. Part of me just want to up sticks and move to Cornwall so I don't have to deal with it. But all in all, I know I should have stuck to my intuition on this and I now feel we made the wrong decision. I kind of get a sinking feeling about it...

Thanks for any thoughts!

[tantrumsandballoons]

Does your son like the school op?
If he is happy there I personally would be really wary of moving him tbh, what would you do if he doesn't settle in to this other school? Move him back?

I know it's really hard to choose a school, we also had an ofsted rated outstanding school and a good school to choose from, we went with the good school after looking around both and speaking to the heads. We may have made the wrong choice, I honestly dont know but ds2 has been happy and thriving for the last 3 years

[sleepingbunny]

I've sent you a private message

[jubilee10]

Unless he is really unhappy (and it doesn't sound as if he is) I wouldn't move him. You have made your choice for him and I would stick with it. Get involved with the school and perhaps you will feel more 'at home'. We are lucky as the children here all go to our local school, there is little choice and most of them do just fine.

[3duracellbunnies]

If you do decide, and are able to move him, all of the children who have joined dd1's class in yr R and yr1 have settled quickly and have been absorbed into the class without problems. It sounds as if he probably knows, or at least did know some of the children at the other school. Are you still in touch with parents from the other school to see how they find it?

I think to an extent whichever school you go to the first time around it is a bit of a shock as a parent. Oh and playing 'baddies' and 'killing' each other seems par for the course for reception boys, having found this out through dd2 who seems to have been adopted as an honoury boy, wishing she played with the truckers now!

[probablyveryunreasonable]

We moved our DTs in year one. It was the best thing we ever did for them. Like you, throughout reception we had the feeling that we had made the wrong choice as things didn't feel quite right. But, because they were happy, we left them. Then, in year 1 they became increasingly miserable, to the point where their personalities changed.

The school they are at now is lovely. Obviously the circumstances are different and your DS will hopefully continue to be happy at his school. But I know the feeling you have and it's very unsettling. I didn't feel at home at the school and every little thing that happened I would pick up on and analyse, where as now I don't and I think it's because I trust this school so much more. My children are completely different t how they were when they left their last school.

The only thing I would say is that their last scool was a 3 form entry and I felt they all got lost somewhere in the system as it was so large. Their new school is much smaller and we all love it. However, there were lots of problems at the old school and it was probably due to more than it being large.

If you do move him, he WILL settle. There are lots of new faces at our school all the time and they settle in wondefully, because it's a lovely relaxed and friendly atmosphere. I wished i'd trusted my instincts earlier!

[fivegomadindorset]

We did the same with DD, again couldn't pin point why but it wasn't suiting her, moved her after the first term and she has never looked back.

[cookiesnap]

I would move - he will be fine especially if he already knows some of the kids. We ended up moving in Y3 and it has been quite a painful for dd (though still a v good move). And if you have a niggling feeling that you are in the wrong school, that won't go away if the experience of everyone at our old school is anything to go by.

[Hyssna]

Thanks for all your advice and taking the time to reply.
He's made a few friends but none that he will run up to and start playing with immediately, when I drop him off and pick him up (which i do twice a week) he kind of just meanders around taking his time, usually sitting down in the book corner or checking out the dinosaurs. Now, i don't worry about him and friendships, i think it's too early to tell and he's too young and that will all come. He is still the youngest in his class and you can tell. I suppose if the other school wasn't an option i would have just get on with it but because it's there I know I have something to compare to. I suppose I feel the other school is more 'liberal'....whatever that means, and 'fits' more to us a family.
Is it selfish to think about how you, as a parent, have settled in? I suppose it's not about you, it's about your child and perhaps making 'friends' with the other parents is not the be all and end all of school. Maybe it's not to be expected?
Cookiesnap, did you move in Y3 after having 'niggling' feelings all along? Part of me says 'go on give it some time' and the other part 'nah, let's do it now, let's finally trust the instinct'....

[tantrumsandballoons]

I think you made a very good point there, are you changing schools to benefit your son- or yourself?

I absolutely support changing schools if the current school is not in your child's best interest, we moved dd in year 2.

However I hate the head and deputy head of their high school and have done since day 1, I also am not too keen on the vertical tutorial they have but the school has actually been wonderful for my dd and she is thriving. It's just me that doesn't like it.
She is a lot older than your dc though

[Twinny35]

I totally understand your situation. My DDis in preschool and I was expecting her to stay there for reception (it's a private school) but I have always had a gut feeling from day one that it doesn't suit her or us as a family. She is also the youngest in the class and it shows. We have decided to move her to a different school that we hope will be more catered to her personality. I have had many sleepiness nights over this.
I feel you show go with your gut feeling and move your child the new school. You have to go with what you feel is best for him and also you as a family. Good luck.

[3duracellbunnies]

I think it can be hard 'at the school gate' and especially if you are only there two days a week. I'm not saying that as a criticism, but if x and y chat to each other everyday, when z comes on two days they may be catching up on yesterday's conversation iyswim. Do you have class reps or anyone who organises mums (or dads) night outs, or coffee after drop off. If not why don't you do it? It is in every parent's interest to get to know a little about the parent of little jonny's potential next best friend. You may find that you have more in common than you think.

If you feel though that the difference is so great, maybe your son will feel that too as he grows up, and feel the odd one out if they are off to glynnebourne and he's going to glastonbury (exageration for effect obviously), and his friends would prob be jealous! Why not ring the other school and ask to have another tour before you decide?