Helping children settle in Reception - what is your experience?

[TheSageOfUm]

DS is an August birthday and transferred from a small nursery into a class where the majority of children had gone to pre-school together. The first few weeks were a bit tough but it really felt like things were improving after the October half-term. We had a couple of instances of what I would describe as minor bullying: hit a couple of times, one boy tried to segregate him from a friendship group. We spoke to the teacher and felt very confident that she was aware and in control of the situation. We finished Feb half-term on a high.

His behaviour at home this week has been a bit different (much more cross and frustrated than usual), he clearly doesn't want to go in and for the first time in ages didn't want to let go of my hand to go into school. He looked almost physically ill. I know there is something bothering him, but don't know what and he won't say. Today I witnessed some odd behaviour from the boy we had a previous problem with - although this could be totally unrelated.

To what extent is this just par for the course and I need to suck it up a bit? Do I need to mention to the teacher or will I sound like an over-protective wuss?

Are there any of you whose children took a while to settle but got there in the end? Is there anything you did to influence this? He's usually a bright, chatty gregarious little boy but it feels as if this is changing.

I have to say I'm finding it quite hard.

[ChazsBrilliantAttitude]

It doesn't hurt to make a gentle enquiry of the teacher along the lines of
"DS seems a bit out of sorts at the moment have you noticed anything in school?"
If they haven't noticed before they might start keeping an eye out.

Perhaps ask him some random questions about his favourite and least favourite bits of the day or who he likes playing with. Ideally ask this whilst doing something else e.g. walking or playing because sometimes young children seem to blank if you ask them direct questions.

Alternatively, (sorry for suggesting this) are there any bugs going around like chicken pox at the moment as children can be off colour for a week or so before anything shows up.

[cookiesnap]

I'd have no problem telling either of my dds' teachers if they didn't want to go to school. It's handy information and they might have useful suggestions for you.

[GeekPie]

DD has had a very similar experience to your DS, she's a young one in the year and attended a small nursery when most of the other children know each other from the preschool class.

She has struggled and I've noticed it's knocked her confidence a lot. She also comes out of class with stories of being hit or pushed or other children excluding her (a couple of girls in particular). I've no advice really, I just wanted to sympathise. I'm just hoping it'll get better with time.

[TheSageOfUm]

Hi,

Thank you all for your responses. I do trust the teacher so perhaps I will have a quiet word. It's not as if I'm pestering her every 5 minutes. I take the point he might just be coming down with something, as we seem to have escaped all the current bugs. Having said that he's had 2 nights of bad dreams and so there is clearly something playing on his mind.

He does have friends, but I'm really surprised at how entrenched the groups are from pre-school. It seems difficult to break into, especially I suppose as lots of the Mum's have already set up reciprocal care and so the kids are seeing each more out of school.

Does it get easier?! GeekPie - hope things start getting better for you too.