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School discipline: Whole table, or class detention/ban for a few miscreants!!

5 replies

LittenTree · 20/01/2012 12:59

Having a few issues with this right now.

DS2 is in Y6, is shy, quiet and small but has a nice group of mates and table-mates in school. He does have to wait til last to get his coat and bag from the by-that-time jumble sale on the floor every day, as he can't compete with the other 'normal sized' kids and gets elbows in his face.

The teacher is fairly young and keen and is in his second year at the 'outstanding' primary.

Things have been going 'okay'. DS2 struggles a bit academically (I suspect some dyslexia but have given up pushing as no one is interested and DS just might get a 4 in his KS2 English SATS- we get him tutoted once a week). The teacher is apparently 'happy' with his progress, so all well and good BUT:

Just over the past week or so, since Xmas, DS2 has been coming home initially 'fed up' and now in tears as he feels, in his words, 'victimised'. He tells me of being moved from his 'comfort zone' maths table onto one with quite challenging DCs on it to sit between these 2 boys as DS is regarded as a 'calming influence'. One boy and another girl ended up fighting for possession of the information sheet on the table, it tore in half- so the whole table was kept in at break to redo the work. He tells me how all the Y6 boys have been banned from playing football on the astroturf pitch by an irate YR teacher when a stray ball knocked into a younger child (I have been roundly abused on here recently for suggesting that I was fed up with the older DC in a primary playground constantly having to acquiesce to the younger DC- when the younger ones have strayed into an area they're not supposed to be... but this is an object lesson on why I'm not very happy with the arrangements). My friend is a dinner lady there and actually witnessed this banning taking place.

Then earlier in the week, the teacher decided it was OK for the DCs to go out to play even though it was 'frosty' (scared of DC slipping, I guess, though Hmm). Half a dozen raced out then the other Y6 teacher who is the HoY came in and said no, they were to stay in, she called to the DC who were already outside to come back in but, because they didn't instantly rush in- the whole class got a lunch time detention.

I understand the thinking behind this sort of discipline, these 'mass punishments' but my feeling is they are a) lazy, b) it's unreasonable to expect Y6s to apply peer-pressure to the miscreants to behave (with a real risk they'd be up for bullying if they tried!), and c) I think it shakes a DC's faith in what's 'fair'.

Do you think I just have to wear this, reminding DS2 he's only there 2 more terms, or should I address this? I don't know if I'm alone in thinking this or not though I know the dinner lady who is also a Y6 mum is also getting fed up with it.

FWIW -My DS2 isn't very articulate so I am aware I have had to piece together events but all have been corroborated by my friend's DS who is way more articulate than my DS. The big issue is that her DS is on course for 5s, is physically the 'right' size for Y6 and has a way stronger personality than my DS so isn't crumbling beneath it like my DS is Sad

And finally I barely ever 'go up to school' regarding 'ishooz'. I am not at all pfb but of course sometimes in any DC's school career you have to ask yourself whether you should intervene on their behalf!

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LittenTree · 20/01/2012 21:19

C'mon! feel my pain! Advice ahoy!

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Wellthen · 20/01/2012 23:51

Things aren't fair. Bankers bonuses and tax breaks for the rich are an example of this.

Whole class detentions are to a certain extent lazy if you are relying on peer pressure but they may also be used if the teacher feels the behaviour of the whole group is slipping. Some may slip more than others but everyone needs to tow the line.

Whole class or group detentions breed resentment si I agrre generally not the best choice. But they are not the end of the world. I would tell your DC that it is difficult but just a fact of life and to try not to worry too much. From what you say about your dinner lady mum it sounds like, as often happens around this time of year, Year 6 have started to outgrow primary school and are stretching a little. They get too boistrous and start to push the boundaries. They need bringing back into line and sometimes this has to be a whole year group thing. The same may well happen again just after the SATs.

With the table issue may be worth having a word and asking why he was moved as he finds the other children distracting. If he has progressed and therefore needs to be on that table then thats that, you have to trust the teacher to deal with behaviour,

Ultimately this is just what school can be like sometimes. In a few years he will be experiencing unfairness in the work place!

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bruffin · 21/01/2012 07:36

At dcs primary year 6 boys seemed to get a hard time. The girls and younger children got away with everything.
The younger boys would launch themselves onto the older boys, but the older boy would get told off.
Girls would push in boys pushed them back out, girls shout miss, and boy gets in trouble. The dinner ladies were awful to the boys and they just grew resentful. It didn't help that a lot of the boys were very physically mature and tall that year. In that respect it really wasn't a good year for my Ds, and he was a well behaved boy.

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LittenTree · 21/01/2012 14:42

No, I'm feeling this year isn't working out as well as it might. Couldn't these childrens- nay boys 'behaviours' be better channeled into more demanding and constructive challenges instead of being stamped upon as surely this is a recognised 'stage'. The DCs seem to be expected to conform to mores better suited to sometimes significantly younger DC, whereas the school's 'game' could surely be 'upper' to get these children more ready for high school instead of wanting to leave primary due to sheet frustration and resentment!

Re being moved onto this other table a) it was done to use my DS as a buffer between 2 more challenging boys and b) DS feels the work is easier...

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cansu · 21/01/2012 18:48

You raise quite a lot of different small issues. I think you need to work out what you are particularly concerned about and then perhaps speak to the teacher concerned. But be aware you may not have the full story. E.g your ds may have been involved in sheet ripping incident and be telling a slightly different version because he is upset he has been told off, especially if this is unusual for him. IME children who are rarely in trouble tend to over react to getting any punishments or detentions etc. You may be 100% right on some of this though. Hard to say without speaking to teacher about specific problems.

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