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Time out of infant school for family wedding?

28 replies

CoffeeMum · 24/12/2011 16:18

My DS is due to start at infant school next September - he's my elder [older?] child, so I have no detailed experience of how primary schools work now.

We have just found out that DH's only sister [the only sibling either of us have] has set a date for her wedding in mid September. It is a Friday, so DS will need to have one, maybe two days off school - only a week or two after starting.

It's not ideal, but what i'm wondering is...will the school be okay about it? I'm also wondering if anyone thinks it's likely to disrupt DS so soon after starting school. I'm thinking things will be fine on both counts, but if i'm likely to run into problems, i'd like to know, so that i can state our case to SIL. She wants DS [and DD] to be involved in the wedding too, for what it's worth.

All comments gratefully received, thank you Smile

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LIZS · 24/12/2011 16:27

Chances are he won't even be on full days at that point, most phase the starts. Technically the school could decline an authorised abasence but legally he may not even have to be in school yet.

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GwendolineMaryLacedwithBrandy · 24/12/2011 16:29

I think he'd be alright. DD is due to start in September and I'd take her out for that. The school we're hoping for is very strict about absence but even they allow time for weddings and funerals.

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itsstartingtofeelalotlikexmas · 24/12/2011 16:29

What a pain

I wouldn't take mine out for a wedding

Lots of guests won't be able to come because they won't want to use leave from work or have term time jobs where they can't get time off

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TheOldestCat · 24/12/2011 16:36

DD started reception this September and we took her out for one day in October for her uncle's wedding. The school authorised absence (and did the same again for her grandmother's funeral a month later) and they are getting strict about absence.

So you should be ok.

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noramum · 24/12/2011 16:37

A friend did this, 2 weeks after starting school. She had no problems but obviously it is up to the school's policy.

As it is immediate family I would def. try.

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EdithWeston · 24/12/2011 16:40

It'll be up to the individual school.

Legally, your DC does not need to begin school until the term after 5th birthday, but once you have chosen to enrol then normal attendance standards apply.

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IndigoBell · 24/12/2011 17:19

School almost certainly will be fine. Don't worry about it.

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CoffeeMum · 24/12/2011 18:10

Thanks all. As i said, i'm sure it will be fine, i just wanted to cast the net for opinions and thoughts as primary school is a whole new area for us. It's pretty much a non-negotiable for us to go to the wedding - DH's only sister - and there's a lot of political family stuff that means it would be a bit grim if we didn't all go. I think it would be a bit ludicrous for the school to worry about one day at this early stage, but i do respect school and teachers, so i do want to go about it all the right way.
Thank you for your replies, Happy Christmas all Smile

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MaggieW · 24/12/2011 19:15

A family wedding is a great experience for any child. They'll only just be settling in their first few days of the next seven years of primary school so, no, it won't make a difference in the big picture. He'll be able to do a lovely show and tell afterwards. However, make sure you apply/notify school/teacher in the proper manner so that you don't get off to a bad start with them. [frgin]

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MaggieW · 24/12/2011 19:16

Clearly I can't do smileys Xmas Wink Happy Christmas! Xmas Smile

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Lizcat · 24/12/2011 19:21

Don't be surprised if it is a grudging agreement. They have to be seen to be discouraging time out. This is what we got.

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chickensaregreen · 24/12/2011 20:02

It won't make any difference to your child. Children can miss school for 48 hours for a sickness bug without damaging their education. A wedding will be a great experience. Depending on their policy school will give it no problem or say it will be an unauthorised absence.

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dixiechick1975 · 24/12/2011 22:42

My friend has this - her son was aged 4 in reception and a page boy for a friday family wedding.

She applied to the school once he started but day off was unauthorised as per school and LA policy. He went anyway.

No sanction comes of it - he wont even be legal school age.

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Hulababy · 24/12/2011 22:45

It'll be fine, and it is a special occasion anyway. Even if school didnt give it as authorised - although ime many will - I'd still go.

My sister got married in Las Vegas. DD was 7y and bridesmaid. Was in the holidays but flights and the time differences meant she missed a day of school on our return. School were perfectly happy and were more interested in talking to her about her experiences on return than worrying about her missing a day of school! Likewise my school - I work in a primary school - were happy too.

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3duracellbunnies · 25/12/2011 03:26

We took dd1 out in reception for her great uncle's wedding, was authorised by school, even though they are strict on holidays etc.

Also took her out for two and a half days in weeks 4 and 5 of reception when her brother was born, had one day the day after he was born to collect from hospital, half day to register birth and a day for family time together. Seemed cruel when dd2 and dh were all getting to know ds and she had to go in full days starting that week. School authorised it, made no difference to her settling in and was a special time.

Send him in on the monday with some photos, order of service etc and reception teacher may let him show and share.

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mummytime · 26/12/2011 08:03

My infant and junior school were always fine about taking kids out o school for things like Weddings. Senior school will not give permission, but when I have taken DS out as an unauthorised absence it was never mentioned again.
Legally if your DS is starting reception he probably doesn't even have to be at school in September.

I really wouldn't worry about absences for things like this.

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daddysdino · 21/07/2017 00:43

its now 2017 so id like to know if you can still take a child out of school for a wedding abroad in two yrs time beginning the first week of June for two weeks be then our child will be 6

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spanieleyes · 21/07/2017 06:37

It is unlikely to be authorised but that doesn't mean you can't go. There is a possibility of a fine so you should build this in to your costs but, if attendance is otherwise ok, you might fall below any threshold your county has-this depends on the county. If your child will be at the end of year 1, you might try to avoid the week beginning 10 June ( if you mean 2019) as this is the phonics screening week. The school CAN deliver the test the following week but no later.

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user789653241 · 21/07/2017 06:48

spanieleyes, but is it really crucial that the child takes official PSC?
Sure it may mess up school's figures, etc, and I am not saying you should deliberately avoid it. I am very pro PSC.
But if you just think about purpose of it, the teacher can still administer the test unofficially to the child and figure out if the child is secure or not with phonics, which is main purpose of this test? Or the teacher already knows their ability anyway?

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Tomorrowillbeachicken · 21/07/2017 07:57

If he's in reception he's under age of compulsory education anyhow in september, all the children are, even september born children.

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Tomorrowillbeachicken · 21/07/2017 07:57

Just saw it's a zombie grrrr

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RedSkyAtNight · 21/07/2017 07:58

The school might authorise (at headteacher's discretion) a day or two for a wedding of a close family member. I can't see any school authorising 2 weeks, as it then clearly becomes a family holiday.

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user789653241 · 21/07/2017 08:13

Tomorrow, it's a zombie, but new poster revived it with valid question.

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prh47bridge · 21/07/2017 08:13

The school might authorise (at headteacher's discretion) a day or two for a wedding of a close family member. I can't see any school authorising 2 weeks, as it then clearly becomes a family holiday.

As the OP's son is starting at Reception in September it is likely he will only be 4 at the start of term. That means the OP cannot be fined for taking her son out of school and does not need authorisation. She only needs authorisation from the start of term following his fifth birthday.

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spanieleyes · 21/07/2017 08:19

irvinoneohone

No, it's certainly not crucial to sit the phonics screening check, it doesn't show anything the teacher doesn't already know. which is why I said that they MIGHT try to avoid missing that week, rather than they should.

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