Ahggghhh! Really niggled by these issues!

[conistonoldwoman]

Number One! My DD's C of E school did nothing to raise money for Children in Need. A few weeks before everyone had to wear something pink and take in money for breast cancer. A worthy cause which they do every year but IMO they could do this at another time, as well as it being way off the radar and understanding of little children. Wheras Ch in need is at their level and may help children who have lost a loved one due to cancer.
Felt for my DD when I set off for work looking silly and her older sister at high school went in non uniform.

Number Two!
DD comes home today with slip saying please could she make sure she has a white PE top in school for the KS1 performance. She would also need white shorts or leggings.
She has been cast as snowflake! I'm just a teeny bit miffed that that's the limit of their creativity in the costume dept!
All the snowflakes are girls so surely something more floaty with sparkly, frosty decorations would be more exciting.
Mind you, I'm not surprised. Last year was even worse. She just wore her school uniform with the obligatory tinsel wreath on her head.
I want to address my above concerns tactfully. Any feedback welcome!!

[richpersoninapoorpersonsbody]

How do you know they are not going to add to the t-shirt and leggings to create a lovely looking snowflake? Trying to find costumes for lots of kids is a nightmare and we always request some items are sent in from home.
With regards to the fundraising, I know of a school near me who has just lost a teacher to cancer and they have said they will be raising money in future for a charity of her families choice, maybe this is why your school does it and they felt they couldn't ask for money so soon after parents had already kindly donated?

[mrz]

We have white net tutus with silver snowflakes hanging from a silver belt for our snow flakes but ask parents to send in white vests and tights

[mrz]

Many schools do one major charity fund raiser per year so as not to always be asking parents to contribute

[ASuitableGirl]

My DD is a fairy light in her Christmas play. We have been asked to send in black t shirt and black leggings/trousers/tights and they will be making sashes and head dresses I think in school. Your DD's school may be doing something similar.

On the Children in Need front, people complain when schools do lots of fundraising - I think it must be hard for schools to know exactly what to do sometimes. Probably impossible to keep everyone happy.

[exexpat]

You're complaining that you don't have to spend hours making a special costume for the nativity play?

And that you didn't have stay up till midnight the night before children in need day icing cupcakes (in order to queue up to buy them back the next day) and painting spots on to old t-shirts/finding 'crazy' ties for your DCs to wear to school?

Where is your school? I think I'd like to send my DCs there...

[PatriciaHolm]

October is breast cancer month, so no, they couldn't really move that. Alternating between that and CiN might be a nice idea - maybe mention it at the next Parents Forum, or drop an email to the head?

Costumes - I would imagine the more complicated they ask parents to get, the fewer people do it, so they've learnt to ask for simple stuff and maybe make something else in class. Have you considered the logistics of getting 30 reception children into fancy dress?!! It probably gets better as the kids get older.

[lborolass]

Are these the only complaints you have or just a couple of recent ones?

Personally I wouldn't complain to the HT about either as you're going to look petty. Schools can't fund raise for every charity and quite honestly the nativity costumes is a ridiculous thing to be annoyed about.

Are you otherwise happy with the school and why is the fact that its a CofE school relevant?

[olibeansmummy]

We're only asking parents for white tshirts and tights too and will make sparkly bits. This allows children who's parents can't afford/ can't be arsed to make a costume to still take part and look the same as everyone else.

As for breast cancer, could it be that someone in the school/ their relative has had breast cancer so it's close to their heart?

[mrsshears]

God i wish that was all i had to worry about regarding school

[conistonoldwoman]

All reasonable responses everyone..maybe I'm comparing too much with my school. We do keep a stock of costumes which can be adapted each year and customised. I am inclined to the negativity from past experience I'm afraid. I will be mightily and pleasantly surprised by any extra adornments the school may add.
I like the idea of plain T shirts to decorate. I'd love to customise a plain white T shirt into something snowflakey! There are only 6 snowflakes so would happily do it for all of them.
There's just something special about wearing something different for a performance and knowing the amount of hard work that goes into coordinating a KS1 show, I think some care should be given to what the children are asked to dress in.

[EdithWeston]

1. You need to find out who in the school decides on charity events. Ours are decided by the Pupil Parliament, but they choose from a short list, and I've never found out who puts that together. if you ask, you may be able to get involved and put your ideas forward.
   

1. Agree with other posters - find out what the plan is for the final costume. We've certainly had parts where the children needed a base layer (t-shirt plus tights/leggings) upon which their own creations are added. I think that's a good thing - it tends to eradicate the differences between those families with enough cash to buy a super costume, or who have someone crafty available, from those whose options are more circumscribed.

[conistonoldwoman]

Sound ideas Edith! Perhaps I'll ask if they need any help in decorating the base layer to find out what their intention are!
Agree about the pupil parliament..the school does have a school council so am surprised they haven't added pressure to join in with Children in Need.

[clam]

Are you for real?

[conistonoldwoman]

Thanks for all your suggestions! A big help.
Sorry to say clam my original post was for real. On the costume front I have memories last year of the poor kids performing in their school uniforms with a token bit of tinsel on their heads.

[snowball3]

Depends what they were performing as! Last year we too had some children in their school uniforms with tinsel on, they were playing school children!
Schools cannot support every charity, we are inundated with requests on a weekly basis for fund raising efforts, all very worthy. But parents would have a fit if we were constantly asking for donations/fancy dress/bring a present for everything we are asked to contribute towards so we have to pick and choose. Yes, Children in need is a valuable event but it raises millions each year and won't miss one school's contribution, so we support the Breast cancer appeal as one of out teachers has had breast cancer twice so we support both on a yearly basis, along with several other local and national charities chosen by the School Council.
As to your costume problem, words fail me! Parents become extremely competitive to provide the "best" costume, so we ask parents to provide the basics and the children add the embelishments at school-simply because of the upset that can be caused to the children whose parents can't afford/can't be arsed to produce a costume. Perhaps instead of moaning, you should go in and help ALL the children produce a wonderful costume that meets your exacting standards!

[jetzombie]

Our school loves it if parents offer to make costumes for plays, do it!
I would just quietly ask about schools policy on charity collections iiwu

[ibizagirl]

My dd was a snowflake once at primary school and i was asked to provide something white and maybe sparkly. So i bought a pair of white tights which were really glittery (i think they were from tesco) and took a plain white t-shirt and decorated it with white and silver glitter. I also sewed some white sparkly snowflake tree decorations around the hem and i must admit it looked fab on and i had great comments about it. I also bought a small piece of white tinsel and put it through dd's hair. I was easy for me to titivate as i used to help at school and with plays and stuff. Regarding charity stuff, the primary school was always collecting for one thing or another. I don't mind but it was always going abroad. Even the harvest festival was a bit strange. There are a lot of old people around the school and stuff got sent around to them. But i remember being asked to take in tins and/or packets which would be sent to the local hostel where the druggies go. A lot of parents complained and in the end it was changed to a scheme where you send in rice/pulses for places like Africa and so on.

[Chandon]

to me these would be complete non-issues...

[ll31]

I would just think that little kids all in white would make perfect snow flakes without the need for glitter! I think tbh you have very little to be worrying about

[livinonaprayer]

I hope there are more underlying issues that have caused you to be so negative over such minor things.
A nativity play is always beautiful, (I usually end up in tears) regardless of the costumes.
The charity thing is a case if each to their own, our school lost a teacher to cancer so we support that charity. CiN is a worthy but well supported charity. All the smaller ones need support too.

[PastSellByDate]

Hello Conistonoldwonoman:

Yes our school (also CofE) opted not to celebrate Children in Need too. The rumour (and I stress it is just a rumour) is that there was an objection to Lady Ga Ga's participation. There are a number of very sweet 6/7 year olds saying that Lady Ga Ga worships the devil, etc... and it is clear that they're getting it from teachers/ church. We're not particularly religious and I kind of like Lady Ga Ga's music (admittedly videos aren't always G-rated) so I'm not particularly bothered by her.

Snowflake thing. If white seems boring our solution to this was to sew on a silver tensil skirt - just cut tensil into even strips and stich in place around base of t-shirt. You can also use glitter pens to make a silver star on the chest of the shirt or glue down more tensil. We found that jazzed it up.

My final comment Consitoldwoman - is that you have to take the good with the bad. If your school is otherwise supportive of charities, then perhaps opting out of one fund-raising thing isn't so bad. What you could do is ask at the school. There may be a good reason why they aren't supporting it (some schools chose just one charity to support throughout the school year at the start of the year - these are usually smaller, local charities) - or it may be that they haven't really thought about it. Whatever else Consiton this kind of thing is 'small beer', annoying (perhaps) and possibly inconvenient - but not worth going to battle with the school/ teacher over. And certainly it doesn't stop you supporting Children in Need yourself as a family.

[ellesabe]

I don't want to make light of these issues as they are clearly bothering you BUT teachers have way more to do with their time. Like educate your child.