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italian school nightmare!!

(5 Posts)
rubymum123 Fri 14-Oct-11 15:07:03

As an expat english mum with bilingual kids who attend school in italy I would be very grateful for any advice.

I have 2 girls ages 12 and 6. My oldest has always been very enthusiastic about attending school, she is a bright girl, gets good grade and is probably a model pupil, she attended the same primary school as my youngest is now attending and we were always told she was a delight to teach. She is now in secondary school.

As I said my youngest is in the 2nd year of primary school and is just coming up for 7. She is also very bright but as most siblings very different from her sister. She was not so enthusiastic about started school last year and although things have slightly improved this year she is still having a few problems. She gets distracted very easily and it has been a constant battle getting her to do homework etc. Lately though she has seemed to be improving and obviously we are happy about this. However, today when i went to collect her from school I've realised that she had forgotton her coat and told her to pop back in and get it, she came out with two of her school books as well. I thought to myself good job she remembered and said so to her. Just then her english teacher ( who is italian) came out and said quite aggressively " you are a very naughty little girl!!" needless to say I was quite taken back and on the way home asked her what had happened, she continued to say I forgot my coat and books. I thought that there must be more to it so phoned the teacher to ask if there was a problem at school today because my dd was abit upset at being spoken to this way. Well, the teacher told me that yes there was a problem that she had indeed forgotton her things and that she can be very easily distracted. I emphasied that maybe she had maybe misinterpreted the meaning of "very naughty" maybe another word like simply forgetful or distracted would be more appropriate. But no she was adamant on calling her this way, and told me that she often uses it when children are not paying attention!! WHAT??? ARE WE ALL GOING COMPLETLY MAD??? I mean what ever happened to positive re-enforcement for helping children reach their goals. I feel so frustrated and just wish I could bring them over to the uk to school... after quite a heated discussion with her and with my point being that I do not want her to use that kind of terminology with my child she said that she would look in the oxford dictionary for a more appropriate word...don't know if she really means it or is just taking the piss and she seemed quite put out!! I just seems they have no interest in the childrens psycological wellbeing - any italian mums out there or any one who know the italian schooling system would love to here your views...thanks for listening..

Brangelina Fri 14-Oct-11 15:14:13

Did she use the English word or the Italian one? You'll probably just have to' suck it up, Italians are less pc in general, yet the children seem to survive somehow.

Brangelina Fri 14-Oct-11 15:42:09

Sorry, was a bit abrupt but train arrived. You can't measure everything in terms of Uk schooling, the are pros and cons in both systems. I'd much rather my DD was pulled up for mistake rather than it going uncorrected so as not to hurt her feelings. The positive reinforcement bit is gong to have to be up to you, but without undermining the teachers.

rubymum123 Fri 14-Oct-11 15:43:07

suck it up??? That's a hard one ... seeing my little girls face tearing up and looking so sad... it was hard enough getting my point over politely to the woman!!! (In answer to your question, she said it in english).

themed Fri 14-Oct-11 16:05:06

I am Italian living in the UK and I have this problem with my own children and the way I bring them up/what I say to them/how I educate them. I was brought up in that way myself and that was the norm and I believe to a lesser extent still is the norm (I visit all the time and have loads of friends with children at school there).

I am not saying it is right or wrong but the cultural norm is to call names more often, to be very upfront and this is all the way through - it must be a hard thing to get used to, so you have my understanding and sympathy on this one. It is counterbalanced by the fact to that people are generally also much more complimentary so I guess you take the rough with the smooth!

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