Playground discipline

[MMQC]

My 7 yo son goes to a small village school and relies on a small group of friends. During break, all the boys go out and play football. All well and good. My son is one of the youngest in the group, and also the smallest. He also doesn't play any football out of school, so he's probably not the best at football either. But he is keen to have a go.

We've had some behavioural issues with him recently which we have been trying to get to the bottom of, and what he has told us is that another boy, let's call him Bob, is constantly pushing him over and kicking him when they are playing football. Now Bob is a big boy, and clumsy too. He's also on the SEN register for various issues.

My boy has needed first aid on more than one occasion, and Bob has also pushed and kicked (deliberately, I'm told) other children too. What concerns me is the fact that I am told that when the other children report Bob's behaviour to one of the teachers or TA's, they are told off for snitching and his behaviour is not dealt with.

Obviously, the word of a seven-year-old is not gospel, and we are going to go in to talk to the school to ascertain the truth of the situation. My question is more what should be done. Should Bob be disciplined even if his behavioural issues are part of his special needs? Should the other children have to put up with it? What can I do to stop my boy getting hurt? Especially as it seems to be having knock-on effects in the classroom?

Thanks

[IndigoBell]

Bob should have support at lunch time so that he doesn't get the opportunity to hit the other kids. ie he needs to be supervised by someone very closely.

I don't think you should focus on how Bob is disciplined - that is neither here nor there. What you should be concerned about is how school is going to stop this kind of behaviour from happening.

[purplemurple]

ds 7 is in a class with a child who has similar issues to Bob, when they first started were lots of similar incidents. As indigo says, I wouldn't focus on what punishemnt bob is getting but what school are doing to prevent these incidents happening.

The dc in ds's class has 1-1 in classroom and also on the playground and these incidents have now stopped or happen rarely.

[MMQC]

Thanks both for your input. I agree that how he is disciplined is not the issue, the issue is to prevent it happening in the first place.

I'm pretty sure that Bob has classroom support, at least some of the time. But supervision in the playground seems to be lacking. What I don't know is whether it is his special needs that are causing the issue, or whether that is a useful screen. Obviously, I do not know the exact nature of his special needs, but do no that they are at least partly, if not entirely, medical. I do not know if there are defined behavioural issues there too.

I'm trying to tread very carefully as my knowledge of special needs is minimal.

Are we within our rights to ask that this particular child be re-evaluated, potentially with a view to providing a greater level of supervision? I've asked my son if he can steer clear of him, but the school and the playground is simply not big enough, and I don't really want to just pass the problem on to another family.

[IndigoBell]

I think you can only say to school that you are upset that your child is being hit frequently by Bob.

You can say you are upset that it is happening, and you are upset with how it is being dealt with by school ( ie kids are made to feel like tattle tales)

I don't think you can say to school that Bob needs X, Y or Z.

[MMQC]

You're right, hopefully they are in a better position to tell what he needs than we are. All we can do is flag up the situation.