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is this normal - DD seems a different child at school

(2 Posts)
paranoidofpreschool Tue 11-Oct-11 14:50:01

Hi - I'm sure this is totally normal but I'm wondering what's going wrong with my dd. As far as I'm aware, she's a perfectly normal four year old. Can read some cvc words, recognises numbers one to ten and can count, writing completely unrecognisable, knows all letter sounds etc etc. Nothing remarkable, but I wouldn't say backward, either.
Trouble is, according to her teachers she doesn't know her letters, doesn't know her numerals at all, can't hold a pen. Etc etc etc. It's like they are talking about a different child. They seem very keen in getting her to show them these things so they can tick some kind of boxes. And she hasn't.
They got the head of the EYFS bit of the school to do some reading with her, and she also reckons she knows her letter sounds, can blend words, do high frequency words etc - but still her own teacher appears to think she can't do any of it and refuses to read with her.
The head of EYFS is still doing so, but that is very occasional, and books aren't getting changed at all because her own teacher won't do this..
As for the numerals, they pulled us aside this week and said that they were worried that she doesn't know them. I played a game with her on the way down to school this am and got her to identify them all fine (as she has been doing for months). Is it a problem that she won't show her own teacher what she is doing?
I realise that I am beginning to sound like a deluded nutter at school, which is not ideal - but really, she is doing these things, and I'm not prompting her, and her childminder also thinks she can do them. What can I/ should I do? Anything? She goes up to Reception from the school nursery in Jan, and I'm worried that she will go up with some terrible assessment that in no way matches her ability. I don't think it's doing her confidence any good either.

roadkillbunny Tue 11-Oct-11 16:53:26

My dd can be different at school, I know she used to read better at school then she did at home but now she is in Y2 she is it seems less tired and is showing me at home what she is capable of.
When dd was in reception I had parents evening at the teacher told me that dd knew all her shapes apart from triangles, I was very puzzled as dd had known her shapes for ages, triangle was one of the first she learned. When we got home I very discreetly got dd to identify all the shapes for me, triangle wasn't a problem, she got it right time and time again. A few days latter I decided to be upfront with her and told her that her teacher had said she didn't know triangles, dd (she was 4, May born) giggles and said 'I have been playing a game with my teachers, I pretend I don't know which are triangles!' I was a bit gob smacked to be honest, it must have taken a great deal of effort on her part to always remember to not get triangles right! I told dd that she shouldn't play games like that with her teachers and I told the teacher what dd had said, there were no problems with triangles from that point forward!

All that said though it sounds like there is a problem with your dd's teacher, it is very odd that she refuses to read with her and doesn't seem to be taking on board what the head of EYFS is telling her. I would be very worried, not about your dd but about the teacher, your dd is probably very shy about doing things in a new environment with new people, add in a teacher who doesn't seem to want to know or to teach even and I don't blame your dd for giving up on trying.

I would make an appointment with the teacher ASAP and ask her what is happening, what she thinks and what she is planning on doing. If you don't get any joy from the teacher, if things don't change in a few weeks I would ten ask for a meeting with the head of EYFS and ask the same questions also asking why the teacher is behaving in the way she is.

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