DD given detention at age 7, she's always been fine at school why the sudden change in behaviour ? Advice please.

[catpark]

Bit of background on DD who has just turned 7 years old. She is currently in P3 but in a composite P3/4 class who also have 2 job share teachers. At home DD at times isn't the best behaved, she is very independant and can be stubborn and at times has tantrums and yells, but at school she has always been well behaved.
In P2 she got an end of term award and also the end of year reward at assembly for her class because of working hard etc. There was a few incidences of challenging behaviour towards the end of P2 that her teacher put down to attention seeking. She also started to have bother with another child in the class which I had to bring to the attention of the school. Since she started the P3/4 class in August I have had to speak to the school because she had told me the same child from P2 had been starting on her again, kicking/punching etc. And on one occassion this child poured a bottle of water over her. Teachers weren't much help. When I asked what they were going to do about it I got told that they would perhaps need to speak to the other girls mum.

Got a phone call from the school today to tell me that DD is getting an after school detention as she was seen to hit another child and when asked about it refused to speak to the teacher or headteacher. This is classed as a level 5 violation. The school have now told me that there have been other incidences of her being defiant and refusing to speak to them about things when asked. (She does tend to do this when something is bothering her and she keeps it to herself and then eventually she breaks down and it all comes out.) It's the first i've heard of it as neither techer bothers to go to the cloakroom door and see parents, I only know what one of them looks like.

I am concerned about it as, yes she can be badly behaved at home but she has always been fine at school up until a few months ago when the school year started. It's parents night tonight so the teachers are bound to bring it up, any advice as to what can be done to get to the bottom of this and find out what has really happened ?

[cansu]

I think that you need to go with an open mind. It may be that there will not be an easy explanation as to why your dd has started being difficult at school and that is hard to hear. (I have a dd who is difficult and so know a bit about this). It may be that the best approach will be to listen and agree to be supportive of teachers attempts to discipilne your dd. This joined up approach usually works best. There might be something bothering her but it might not be that it is some other child's fault. It's natural to want it to be down to someone else but it isn't always the case and isn't always the best way to help and support your dc.

[ScareyFairenuff]

7 is a little old for tantrums and giving 'attitude' to adults in school will become a problem for her if it's not stopped. It's a hard lesson to learn that the world does not revolve around you but the sooner we do learn it the easier it is on the child. You dd needs to understand that if she is spoken to by an adult at school it is extremely rude to refuse to answer them.

I think there are several issues here. The behaviour at home, problems with children at school, and behaviour towards staff at school. The three are possibly related.

How do you respond when she yells at you at home or has a tantrum? What do you currently do to teach her that that behaviour is unacceptable?