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Parents evening - should I raise this?

(8 Posts)
WoodBetweenTheWorlds Fri 07-Oct-11 20:53:45

I'd like some opinions, please, as to whether it is reasonable to raise this at parents' evening soon?

In dd's class, each child is paired with a buddy, and the buddies sit together for a significant part of the day. My dd is paired with a little boy who clearly has some behavioural problems. I was somewhat concerned about this initially, but she seemed to be ok with the situation so I decided it was fine - hopefully she can help this little boy in some ways, and perhaps she will also learn something. And while dd wouldn't have chosen to be paired with this particular child, I appreciate that he has to be paired with somebody.

Anyway, a number of the other buddies were recently swapped around, partly in response to some concerns expressed by other parents. DD's buddy is unchanged, but there have been changes to the other children on her table. This has resulted in dd's buddy sitting in close proximity to two other boys with whom he is friendly, and dd has complained daily since the move that the three boys are constantly talking and causing disruption. The teacher is clearly aware of the situation to some extent, as dd says that she often gets cross with the boys. However, I'm not sure if she realises the impact that this is having on dd.

I have suggested that dd just tries to ignore it, but she says it annoys her and distracts her, making it hard for her to concentrate. Ideally, she would like a different buddy but if this isn't possible, she wants the teacher to move the other children so that the three boys are spread around the room.

I can see that dd is genuinely bothered by this situation, so I do want to say something. However, I don't want to teach my grandmother to suck eggs tell the teacher how to organise her class, and I don't want to spend the whole parents' evening talking about other people's children. In any case, I know that the teacher can't discuss them with me anyway.

What is the best way of broaching this subject, focusing on the impact of the disruptive behaviour on dd but without coming across as being moany or critical of the teacher (because I'm not)?

lesstalkmoreaction Fri 07-Oct-11 20:57:35

I would definately mention that your daughter comes home a bit cross that the boys on her table are talking. Ask if the tables are due for a change around so your dd can get some peace and the chance to concentrate.
You are not coming across as moaning but concerned for your dd nothing wrong in that.

Ingles2 Fri 07-Oct-11 20:59:45

you must say.... just not in an aggressive way. Something like...
DD has mentioned that buddy talks to other boys a lot and it is disruptive. Is this something you've noticed?

2BoysTooLoud Fri 07-Oct-11 20:59:47

Definitely raise the issue. You probably won't have to mention names as the teacher should be well aware of who your dd is sitting with. Say how distracting your dd finds her table and why. See what teacher says and take it from there.
Good luck.

WoodBetweenTheWorlds Fri 07-Oct-11 21:09:54

Ooh, thanks for the quick responses. Will definitely raise it then - was worried I might be being a bit PFB blush but seems not. I definitely won't be aggressive, ingles - I know that teachers have a hard enough job already, without arsey parents who think that they know it all.

2boys - even better if I don't have to mention the other children's names. smile

helpmabob Fri 07-Oct-11 21:13:13

I think just say it as you have on your post, that is perfectly reasonable

WoodBetweenTheWorlds Fri 07-Oct-11 21:55:16

Thanks helpma.

DanFmDorking Fri 07-Oct-11 22:50:15

I would recommend raising the matter with the school now, before the parents evening.

Then, at parents evening, complain again, tell them quite clearly that your daughter is still upset and complains daily about ...constantly talking and causing disruption... etc.

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