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Why are some children so cruel?

(11 Posts)
jellershaw Wed 28-Sep-11 10:42:44

Come home completely heartbroken for my Y6 son. He's been walking to school with two friends that he's had since reception and felt really grown up and responsible. All going well until another boy joined the group. Spotted them trying to run away from my son on Friday but said nothing thinking they were just messing around. On Monday went to drop him off where they meet to walk and they started hiding behind cars and running away from him. I didn't let him out of the car - took him to school instead. He asked them at school why they were hiding behind cars and the 'new addition' told him they were hiding from him becasue they didn't want to walk with him. Son asked why and was told 'because we don't like you.' His two freinds from reception agreed with the new addition and walked away laughing. My son is completely destroyed - feels he has no friends in school and no one likes him. Doesn't know what he's done to deserve this and is really nervous to go to school in the morning - I've resorted to dropping him at the gates again but I know that's upsetting him. Parents of these children are unapproachable - likely to start a screaming match in the street if I raise the issue. Just wonder what makes children behave this way. Sorry for long thread!

TheOriginalFAB Wed 28-Sep-11 10:45:13

Talk to the school asap.

My son is being bullied and the kids said last year it was because it was fun.

suzikettles Wed 28-Sep-11 10:48:53

Complete lack of empathy.

Poor ds sad

marge2 Wed 28-Sep-11 10:52:05

Oh that's horrible. I really feel for your DS and for you too. Little sods!

Vicky2011 Wed 28-Sep-11 11:22:38

Definitely talk to the school, they at least need to be aware even if they can't do anything.

Next time you drop him off at school I'd be tempted to run over the little sods.

But that's just me.

On a serious note, if these are kids he has been mates with for 7 years, do you know them? Could you speak to them?

If not, I think you have partly answered your question when you say that the parents are unapproachable and would likely start a slanging match. Bottom line, they aren't nice kids 'cos their parents aren't nice. I would tell your son to get some less chavvy friends and to make sure he tells the twats what he is doing, in those terms.

ChinaInYourHands Wed 28-Sep-11 11:51:12

I like to believe that my ds knows that I would break his legs his father and I would be extremely disappointed if he ever behaved like that towards another person. If you feel you cannot approach the parents of the children being mean to your ds, then do approach the school because this is bullying.

timetoask Wed 28-Sep-11 13:22:31

poor ds. I thought this type of behaviour happened only within girl groups, not boys.
Tell him that there is nothing wrong with him, some people simply find satisfaction in making others suffer. His two friends are weak idiots allowing this newcomer to pick on your ds.
Can he start joining a different group of friends? and forget about these idiots?

RosemaryandThyme Wed 28-Sep-11 14:56:35

Kill 'em with kindness.
Brush up your theatrical skills....
Have wildly happy chats with newboys mum about how much your child likes him, enjoys playing with him, how its soooo refreshing to have a new class-mate gush gush and could you help them out with lifts if its raining, after-school trip to park for a kick-about and some ice-cream etc etc.
New mum will be so shocked and stumped, capitalise on this to book a date to take your child and newboy somewhere very cheap (free - park, brook, - definately not your own house) for incredibly short time (1hr) - spoil them both with sweets, mags etc - (things that newboys mum will see when he comes home)- if dad is around include him - brief "super gushing parent approach" - so that both of you really "up" newboy, praise loads, laugh falsely - gush gush again to newboys mum when you drop him back home.
Next day arrive at walking drop off point 5mins early ie before others have arrived - walk along for 100m or so with the four of them, laughing and gushing about how great life is.
Repeat the gushing bit for two further mornings.
Stand back and see if newboy has changed his perspective.

dikkertjedap Wed 28-Sep-11 18:59:07

Definitely speak to the school and also ask the school for some advice. There must be other boys in his class? Could he invite one of them? Clearly what he thought were his good friends are turning out to be spineless twats. Unfortunately the world is full of them, be it at school, at university, the workplace, name it. You ask why people get so, well, a good starting point seem to be the attitude of the adults around these kids. He spends a lot of time at school so it is really important to find a way of making new friends.

lingle Wed 28-Sep-11 20:54:17

RosemaryandThyme

you are devious and I like it.

smile

RosemaryandThyme Wed 28-Sep-11 22:54:14

Oooorrr Zee Tiger Mumma - she does have many stripe...

(and if the kindness approach doesn't work, bullyboy may well stear clear of Op's Ds on the basis that "his mum's a bit of a nutter".....at least that's what I keep telling my kids......)

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