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Private tutor with child at same school

(24 Posts)
Swarski Sun 18-Sep-11 13:49:48

I contacted a private tutor for my son through a tutoring website and then communicated via email. She has come today for an introduction session and seems to know her stuff and my DS (aged 7) seemed to like her. He needs someone to help him focus on his handwriting and also to get his ideas out of his head and onto paper.

However, I recognised the tutor from the school gates and it turns out that she has a DD in the same year (different class) to my DS. Not sure why, but this makes me feel really uncomfortable. She mentioned confidentiality so don't think its that....

Any experience of this?

seeker Sun 18-Sep-11 13:52:42

Why on earth are you getting anprivate tutor for a 7 year old? And, given that you are, why do you mind if people know?

DownbytheRiverside Sun 18-Sep-11 13:59:23

I meet my doctor on a regular basis at school, she knows waay too much about me for comfort but somehow we manage.

Swarski Sun 18-Sep-11 14:05:12

On the recommendation of his teacher to help with his handwriting and focus. Only 30 mins a week. He is struggling with his confidence at school because his handwriting is so poor that he gets low marks in lots of areas. I have tried doing extra handwriting with him at home, but it just turns into a massive battle.....

2BoysTooLoud Sun 18-Sep-11 14:07:08

Teachers recommend private tutors at age 7? Surely that is admitting failure of the school?

Swarski Sun 18-Sep-11 14:11:54

It was my initial view that it was the schools failing (recommendation was from teacher at last school as he has just moved to juniors), but I can see that with a class of 30 my DS would fly under the radar. He is not naughty, but is often very distracted and thinking of things in this head rather listening to the teacher. He somehow manages to listen just enough to get some work done, but his last teacher thought that he would really benefit from some 121 time on his writing....

2BoysTooLoud Sun 18-Sep-11 14:16:37

Do they have handwriting groups at school? My ds pulled out for a while for small group sessions with a TA. [Have to say his hand writing still not the best but he listened to TA more than me!].

seeker Sun 18-Sep-11 14:20:13

Hmmm. If my child's teacher was recommending a tutor, I would be hammering on the Head's door qt the cracknof Dawn the next dat!

DownbytheRiverside Sun 18-Sep-11 14:23:12

But did the teacher actually recommend a tutor, or just that he could do with some 1:1 support outside of school and the OP decided to outsource?
I've suggested practising a skill at home, with no agenda about a paid tutor.

teacherwith2kids Sun 18-Sep-11 15:05:51

If the school was actively pushing the idea of a tutor, i'd be asking for a meeting with the class teacher ASAP, and with the head if need be (and SENCo if relevant) to push for proper provision in school.

I have had to work with a child's tutor (parent wanted a tutor, school agreed reluctantly but ONLY if she worked to a curriculum and set of targets provided by the school) but I would never suggest to a parent that one was needed. Rehearsal of key things - reading, spelling, number bonds, tables, yes. Other than that, if a level of 1 to 1 intervention was required I'd be organising it with my TA or the SENCo.

2stressed Sun 18-Sep-11 22:18:58

Ummmm are we really helping?!!!

If you've chosen to tutor then good for you. In this world of omg how could tutor your tiny child I'm glad you've gone against the grain realised that your child's needs are somewhat above your ability to help him and done something about it.

We tutor our DD and the tutors DD goes to a private school ( not my DD school) but slot of siblings from the tutors DD school use this lady. They don't seem to mind. I can see how you may feel the boundaries merging but as long as the tutor doesn't talk about at school infrint of other parents it should be ok, shouldn't it?
Good tutors are hard too find so if it works for family I hope you can get over this little detail.

2stressed Sun 18-Sep-11 22:20:35

Lots

IndigoBell Mon 19-Sep-11 09:37:22

Only thing is - is a tutor the right idea for a child with handwriting problems?

Are you sure he wouldn't be better off seeing an occupational therapist?

Swarski Mon 19-Sep-11 20:59:52

It is 121 support that was recommended by teacher, for example with a tutor. DS got a 2A for writing in KS1 so is not in need of SENCO, but his handwriting means that he is losing his confidence in his ability at school. I would help him if I could, but I just get cross and am no help at all. Conversely I do a lot of 121 work with my DD who learns differently so I am trying to accept my limitations in helping him by getting another adult to help him.

Had a good chat with the tutor today at school gates and have much less of a worry about her confidentiality. We have agreed to a 4 week trial and see how it goes. DS is keen to get started as she gave him some good ideas in the first session and has given him a pencil today with a grip on it which seems to help....

madwomanintheattic Mon 19-Sep-11 21:06:10

mm. if a grip might help then i'd def be seeking an ot rather than a tutor, as indigo suggested.

a random tutor might be able to suggest a pencil grip (heck, i can buy about twenty different ones myself with the click of a mouse) but an ot will actually have been trained to look at grip/ muscle tone etc and come up with at least an educated guess and some exercises to help, rather than the tutor's untrained guesswork and whatever they've got on special at whsmith... <shrugs>

no beef about tutors here, but if handwriting is the problem, then an ot is probably more use.

madwomanintheattic Mon 19-Sep-11 21:08:43

<am lol slightly at the affronted nature of 'not in need of senco' btw. dd2 has an iq of 142 (measured at 5) but spectactularly poor fine motor skills. she's def in need of ot intervention, which usually comes under senco as it's an additional need. learning disability not required.>

Swarski Mon 19-Sep-11 22:00:51

Apologies if I have misunderstood the role of a senco. As mentioned previouslyDS in new school now (yr3) so will ask new teacher for her view.

madwomanintheattic Mon 19-Sep-11 22:47:35

senco neither here nor there really - are you familiar with what an occupational therapist does? (is it really just handwriting or is there something else going on?) you mention distractedness and difficulties staying on task as well...?

but yy, it would be interesting to see what the junior school teacher thinks. and canvas their opinion on what it would be useful for the tutor to be working on.

firstgreatholswiththree Mon 19-Sep-11 23:48:06

I'm always surprised that everyone frowns on tutoring so much. We have used a tutor (teacher) to help because DC had missed some schooling. I have to say it has helped not only DC1 but us as parents and also the other children we have. We get a clear understanding of some of the things required, DC loves the praise received and the attention and we learn how to help them with their homework. I know the support we get will help us spend more thing with the kids. 1 hour good work is better than 1 hour of moaning to do 1 simple task.

IndigoBell Tue 20-Sep-11 09:33:52

First - this is not about tutoring being either a good idea or a bad idea.

This is about a tutor being the wrong person to correct handwriting problems. If handwriting problems are bad enough that a teacher has commented on it, an OT really, really is the right person to see. Not a tutor.

madwomanintheattic Tue 20-Sep-11 15:59:29

no beef about tutors here either. <shrugs>

Swarski Tue 20-Sep-11 19:39:21

How do you do about contacting an OT?

IndigoBell Tue 20-Sep-11 19:43:37

You can go private. There's lots and lots of therapy centres around like Hemispheres or you can find a private one through this site.

Private costs approx £60 ph.

Or you can ask your GP to refer you. Waiting times vary hugely, as does the amount of support you will get when you finally do get seen.......

madwomanintheattic Tue 20-Sep-11 21:24:31

you could look up specific handwriting therapies etc that have been designed by ot's as well - like 'write from the start' teodorescu and ali (i think) and similar. but it's the assessment that would be beneficial to point you (and the tutor) in the right direction.

with appropriate guidance from an ot, it might be that the tutor can incorporate that aspect into the sessions alongside the keeping on task stuff.

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