This sounds crazy I know......but how ill are your DC before they are kept off school?

[applecrumbleandcream]

My dd (4) started in reception on Monday. By Wednesday I picked her up from school and she was hot and flushed, sneezing and coughing. She was really bad throughout the night so on Thursday morning she was really poorly and tired. Felt really awful as it's only the first week, but had to ring in school and tell them was keeping her off. She was loads better by this morning so she went to school fine, just got a runny nose, Teacher said she would keep her eye on her but had no problems.

I was chatting to another mum outside school (who is incidentally a nurse) about how ill her children are before she keeps them off and she says they literally have to be on their knees. I was then thinking that perhaps I should have sent her after all even though she was really quite poorly and the school could have rang me if they thought she should have been off.

Hope that makes sense, but I just wondered what MNetters do and how do you judge how ill a child is before packing them off to school in a morning?

[Clary]

In this house, if you can get up, have your breakfast and get dressed then you are going to school (unless you break yr leg on the way of course ).

Sounds daft, but I recall meeting an acquaintance walking back from drop-off with her 6yo in school uniform - "oh she doesn't really feel up to it today" not happening in my house.

Actually mine are very rarely ill; DS1 had fours years at juniors with no time off and DS2 who is in yr 4 has never had a day off school at all.

I wouldn't keep them off for a sniffle as I suspect others do; if they are throwing up or have high temp then they stay at home. I think if your child was feeling too poorly to get up and get going (eg espe too tired after bad night) then I would keep them off.

[Lonnie]

Depends on the child here..

dd1 has to have a temperature and/or be obviously ill (she would take advantage if not)

dd2 and ds gets the day off if they ask for it as they wouldnt unless they were genuinly sick and in need.

dd3 depends upon how she is sometimes I would keep her off because I can feel/see she needs that this day.. In the case you describe above I would have kept dd3 home dd1 likely (she is year 9 though so much older and other things would need to be in play i think - like has she exam or a test today) ds and dd2 wouldnt have asked..

dd3 was recently kept home when she didnt have any obvious symptoms but I felt she needed to stay home an extra day after 2 days worth of temperatures and being poorly.. she slept at lunch time so I felt I had made the right choice.

[applecrumbleandcream]

Thanks Clary, I think I did the right thing in keeping her off but just felt awful that it was only the 4th day after starting at school!! Her lovely teacher said this morning that this is usually what its like in September - lots of colds/germs flying around. Plus she only had her tonsils out 3 weeks ago so I suppose I am a bit paranoid. I think I have just got to toughen up as well!!

[madhattershouse]

Hmm difficult. If they have very high temp, vomiting, squits then they are off school. If they complain of feeling hot,headaches, general not feeling well then they go (often a ruse). I was taken by surprise, however, when ds2 complained of a headache and 2 hours later was sent home from school as he was obviously not well..how was I to know that he had swine flu???

[applecrumbleandcream]

Lonnie, your DC sound very sensible!!

[Doodlez]

D&V - 48 hours have to be symptom free before I let them back in.

I try to be mindful of the fact that what ever my children have got can be passed on to the other kids and the staff. It DRIVES ME MAD when other parents send their children to school having had D&V or D or V over night!

[Runoutofideas]

OP - I would have kept mine off under those circumstances too. I hate it when sick children are sent into school to share their bugs with everyone. It is miserable for the child too, to have to struggle through the day. When they are small and not missing much I can't see that it does any harm. Missing GCSEs might be a different matter.....

[Feenie]

Yes - I had a child in my class sent in, even though she had thrown up twice that morning, because she 'really wants to go on the trip today'. Said child lasted until 9.20am before she threw up again, all over the classroom. Then I caught it, then ds, then dh. We lived in the House of Vomit for about 10 days and I was Not Pleased!

[MoreBeta]

At the boarding school I went to the rules were that you were excused from lessons by the school nurse if you had D&V or a temperature of over 38 degrees centigrade or a serious physical injury.

Other than that you had to go to lessons and if you were excused you had to stay in bed in the school sanitorium (internal hospital).

I use the same rules for my children.

[Elibean]

OP, I would have kept mine off - at that age - under those circumstances. Well done, and don't worry about first week of term etc - it won't make a blind bit of difference in the long run I promise.

My own benchmark for work is that I go (or went, when I had a job) as long as I can deliver what I'm meant to deliver. If I'm too unwell to perform, or highly infectious, I stay home and take care of myself (ie bed/rest/doctor) so that I can get well fast and get back to work. I hardly ever missed work. Just seems like the responsible thing to do, to me.

I use the same principle for my kids - if they are miserable crying heaps of snot with no energy, they get to stay home and REST; if they start playing or being energetic they go back to school. They have hardly missed any school (5 and 8).

Personally, I think temps of this or that, or degrees of symptoms, can be misleading - I've seen kids very poorly indeed without temps and vice versa. Although obviously, D&V is one clear symptom, regardless of degree!

[littleducks]

I think that most children who start to school have to have a day off quite soon due to a combination of being exhausted by the new routine and exposure to a whole range of new bugs. I think teachers expect this.

I quite often let my kids have a day off when they arent that ill, when it is clear they are coming down with something. A day at home (especially if it is a Friday) to be pumped full of vitamins and to rest and get their strength up stops them from ending up at deaths door and needing 3/4 days off to fully recover the next week.

[mrz]

Lots of parents send their coughing, sneezing child to school and soon the whole class is ill while others keep their child off if they stub their big toe
If you think your child is genuinely ill keep them home

[meditrina]

I would definitely let them stay at home is they had thrown up or had a rash.

Temperature by itself isn't always a reliable indicator of how I'll someone is, but is a sign that the body is fighting infection. If they were very hot in the morning, then chances are I'd keep then home (don't want to infect a whole class), especially if they smelt ill.

[Becaroooo]

I keep mine off if they have high temp, bad cough or d&v.

[sjuperwolef]

a bad cold with a fever or had d+v or one of them at least. i would hate if someone sent their snotty germ ridden kid into class and infected her. same with d+v. but i can be ver pfb

[mummytime]

Okay for working parents there is a lot of pressure to send in your kids unless they are dying.
D and V has been dealt with.
I keep my kids off school if there is no way they are gong to learn whilst there (including at least once when they have been sobbing hysterically but few other symptoms), also if they are a health hazard to others. Kids frequently sent back to bed if kept off school.
Fortunately as they get older they are unlikely to sob hysterically to avoid school, the random stomach aches are harder to deal with (are they about to be sick,or is it just nerves, or totally put on).

[cory]

I did a lot of harm and compounded an existing medical problem of dd's by letting myself feel too pressurised by other mums/teachers tellling me that "they go to school unless they have broken a leg".

These days I tend to trust to my judgment about my own child and what is likely to be best for her. She is still ill a lot - because her immune system is not good- but she recovers a lot quicker.

[An0therName]

My test which someone told us is that they are prepared to go back to bed in the morning - so far my DS - Yr1 has only been ill enough once!

[mrsbaffled]

Off for 2 days after last D&V symptoms.
Go in with a cold, unless has a temperature.

[Bourbonchops]

*D & V.
*Very high temp and obviously feeling very ill- achey/sleepy.
General colds then no because you would have your child off for half the school year!

[BelleDameSansMerci]

I am a working parent but I won't let my child mix with others if she has something unpleasant and contagious. A little bit of cold is one thing but no way is she infecting anyone else with D&V, etc. I think it's selfish when parents don't consider other children.

[piellabakewell]

D&V is at least a day off...v high temperature, especially after a sleepless night also means a stay at home.

As a primary teacher, I don't want poorly children in my classroom please...the other kids will catch it, so will I, and then they all miss out on their learning if I'm home sick. Our supply teachers are fab but they don't know the kids like I do.

[DeWe]

Obviously if they've been sick etc. no issue.

Temperature that's coming up, not responding to calpol and obviously unwell.

Other than that:

With dd1 if she said she didn't feel up to it then I'd certainly look very carefully at her. This is a child who, age 8, did two ballet shows, a swimming party over the weekend and walked half way to school on Monday morning(about half an hour away) before she would admit she was not up to going. Turned out to be pneumonia. Doctor said he was surprised she could even stand up. I'm more likely to want her off than her to want to stay off. She's missed 6 1/2 days since starting preschool, 3 being pneumonia (it was end of term or she'd have missed more), in her 8th year now.

Dd2 has to have solid evidence. She often had a complaint, so I won't keep her off unless I can see she's unwell. I've never had her sent home when she's gone in complaining, has missed a few days each year.

Ds I will keep off if his ear drum has gone because he then can't hear and his behaviour is worse. This has meant he's missed a lot of preschool in the last year, he only had one day in February in school!

[AnyoneButLulu]

Generally I don't keep them off for sniffles (if only because of work problems) but in OPs situation would defo have kept child at home because of temperature and bad night the night before, she was unlikely to learn anything useful, especially since 4 year olds are so knackered in their first week anyway.

Like other posters I've got one malingerer and one stoic, (though maturity and school's use of attendance award seems to have cured the malingerer) so I vary my criteria accordingly, and apply strict "no screen time" rules.