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Holiday/wedding in term-time dilemma

(12 Posts)
WashingLion Fri 16-Sep-11 09:40:13

My brother will be getting married at the end of next September overseas (10 hr flight away). He originally was trying to plan the wedding for the school holidays but for various reasons, cannot. DD will be 5 and just starting her second year at school.

We were originally going to try and go for 2 weeks because it is somewhere we may never get to go again as a family, and because the flights will be so expensive that it really needs to be a very special one-off family holiday next year. Now we are thinking just one week because we will have to take DD out of school and because we will struggle with childcare in the school holidays as it is.

WWYD? We don't want to miss the wedding - we don't have much family and possibly no other members of my family will be going (my poor brother!)and my brother has said that he would like both our kids to play a part in the ceremony (bridesmaid/page boy). Would you go for one week? Would it really be impossible to take DD out of school for 2 weeks at this age?

Runoutofideas Fri 16-Sep-11 10:14:41

How about go for 10 days. If you took dd out on the Fri then went back to school a week the following Mon she'd only miss 6 days of school but you could be away for 10 days. I would do it - as you say it is a one off. She's not going to miss a huge amount aged 5. Sept is a slightly unfortunate time as she'll just be setling back into school, but it doesn't sound like there's much you can do about that. I would have a chat to the Head to judge what the reaction might be. Do other families in the school get authorised term time holidays?

WashingLion Fri 16-Sep-11 10:47:06

Thanks - that is a good idea. Not sure what the reaction will be from the school to a term-time absence, I know that we have to fill in a form and request it. She has only been there one week!! It is something that I would try not to do ordinarily but this is a one-off situation.

BleughCowWonders Fri 16-Sep-11 10:47:56

Our school has a policy of refusing all holiday requests for the first week of any term.
But whether I'd take them anyway is a different matter.
You'd have to factor in the jet-lag recovery time as well.

V difficult decision for you.

We have half our family 8 hours away but made the decision never to go in term time, so we do miss family events. We're fortunate that we can plan to go regularly though.

Sorry, probably havent helped at all!

WashingLion Fri 16-Sep-11 11:07:44

BleughCow, you have helped a bit. Can I take DD even if permission is refused? My problem also involves family politics - as I mentioned, possibly no other members of my family will go to my brother's wedding sad. We also have my husband's family 10 hrs flight away in the other direction! If my husband's parents were ever seriously ill, we would definitely take the children to see their grandparents. If we would do this for his family, we need to do it for mine!

Runoutofideas Fri 16-Sep-11 11:24:40

I have taken mine out in term time but with the full backing of the school. I think it is best to be upfront and honest with the school and see what they say. You can take her even if permission is refused, but I wouldn't like to do that as it could harm your relationship with the Head and the teachers.

Lonnie Fri 16-Sep-11 13:16:34

I have informed the schol that my mother is unwell and if I get the call that this has got worse then I will take them out with no notice. both schools have had understanding of this (note to self must do this with new 2ndary school too)

dolphin79 Fri 16-Sep-11 13:17:07

I would say take her whether its refused or not. In our school all requests are refused but it doesn't stop people doing it. I don't think it harms your relationship with the school either if its a one off. A parent governor in our school has done this.
If refused it will go down an an unauthorised absence. You may be threatened with a warning notice which means you can be fined if you do it again.

PastSellByDate Fri 16-Sep-11 14:42:10

We took our eldest DD out of school at a similar point for a family wedding overseas. It was important to us to go so we made the decision we'd go with or without school permission.

We applied stating that the flights/ hotel/ etc.. were already booked but that the reason was a family wedding and the duration was because of the distance we had to travel. We also itemised the cultural things we would be doing - so that it was clear that although DD1 would miss school she'd be learning a lot from the experience.

In our case the school gave permission and it all worked out. It was a great wedding and a fabulous party afterwards + we had a wonderful time visiting a new and interesting country as a family.

I say go for it! I suspect your school won't mind.

pinkgirlythoughts Fri 16-Sep-11 18:25:53

I would attempt to go for just a week if you can.

A girl in my class last year actually went overseas for a family wedding (only about a 3 hour flight away), just for the weekend. They flew after school on Friday night, she was the bridesmaid at her uncle's wedding on the Saturday, then they flew back on the Sunday. I was impressed by her parents' determination to avoid her missing any school- but she was very clearly exhausted all day on the Monday!

cat64 Fri 16-Sep-11 19:41:35

Message withdrawn

Lilyloo Fri 16-Sep-11 19:48:39

I would go for the 2 weeks as well. My dc's never have time off school unless they are ill , ds got 100% attendance last year.
However we did add an extra week onto easter 2 years ago when dp sister got married in Australia.
If your dd has great attendance this year then i can't see school having a problem with it. You will want 2 weeks to spend some quality time with your brother. I would recommend having more time after the wedding with them than before from experience.

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