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Ds "dragged" to office wwyd

(19 Posts)
sugarbea Tue 13-Sep-11 21:40:13

WWYD ...... My ds (6) had an incident at lunch time today with a lunchtime supervisor hes been having problems with since he started. To keep it as short as possible, he was meant to be "line leader" ( something to do with a child being at the head of the line, a different child is picked every single time) anyway he went to the front of the line, One of the girls thought he was pushing in and told this member of staff, she sent him to the back of the que, the little girl said ha ha, bye bye idiot to which my ds got the preverbial ump and threw his jumper on the floor. All very trivial and not usually something I'd remotely care about. Except apparently she marched over to ds and dragged him by his arm to the fence and then the heads office. My ds said, and was heard saying "your hurting me" and he started crying. By the time he got to the head he said he couldn't talk so she gave him detention tomorrow break and threatened to give him lunch time if he forgot to turn up. The incident was seen by the whole class, one of the parents ran to catch up with me after school and another called when she got home as a result of what her dd had said. All accounts are the same. My ds has has problems with this dinner lady since he started. She takes at least 6 children to the head every lunch time. I had a phone call once to tell me my ds had poked his Tongue out to his friend at dinner time?! Yet when he was stabbed in the hand with a pencil I got no phone call. I've toyed with the idea of saying I think this lady is picking on him but i don't know how I could ever proove that. I've called the head to discuss but she's nOt called back. I've got my own views on what I'm going to do next but I'd like some non angry parent views please because I'm to angry to think. Sorry about the lack of paragraphs my iPhone doesn't do them. And well done for getting this far smile

sugarbea Tue 13-Sep-11 21:42:58

Also just to had he did not protest going to the fence or office he wasn't given the opportunity to walk freely, he also asked for me to be called and I wasn't.

Gastonladybird Tue 13-Sep-11 21:46:56

Are all accounts same (ie your son was dragged and protested that he was hurt)? How did other parents see if it's lunch

sugarbea Tue 13-Sep-11 21:50:13

Perhaps I wrote that wrong both parents told me what their children had told them.

tethersend Tue 13-Sep-11 21:51:08

Ok well, legally, any physical intervention must be reasonable, proportionate and necessary. This action this member of staff took sounds disproportionate to the behaviour IYSWIM.

Email the head giving a timeframe within which you expect to hear from them- not calling you back, whilst unprofessional could indicate that the head is looking into the matter, which could be a positive sign.

tethersend Tue 13-Sep-11 21:51:48

What are your views on what you're going to do next?

twotesttickles Tue 13-Sep-11 21:53:02

I would go down the track of 'I am concerned about this incident and I'd like you to investigate it'. Give the names of the other children who witnessed it. The HT may not do anything but it puts it on record so if anything else happens it's recorded.

Is the lunchtime assistant new? If she is dragging six children every lunchtime to the head I doubt she'll last long frankly, the HT will be sick of her.

Wossisface Tue 13-Sep-11 21:59:38

I'm not sure what I would do. But didn't want to read and run. Your post made me feel sad for your son. I would be angry too.
I hope you get things sorted out. Sounds as though the dinner lady has power issues. Surely not that many children need to see head.

Good luck I hope things get sorted out.

UniS Tue 13-Sep-11 22:03:04

So- little jonny who is a pest and has been routinely annoying other children and being rude to LTSs is pushing in line AGAIN. another child is quietly rude to little jonny , LTS doesn;t hear , Little jonny flings his jumper away. LTS has had enough as year 2 are MEANT to be lining up not flinging stuff about. Little jonny refuses to come along with LTS to see teaching staff so LTS grasps him by arm and takes him into school. Little jonny turns on the waterworks,complains about being held onto and refuses to talk to Head teacher who thus has to go on the only version of the tale being told- the LTSs. SO little jonny gets to miss play time because he was pushing in line, refusing to comply with an LTSs instruction and not co-operating with the head teacher when asked for his side of the tale.

Same story but told differently?? Maybe. I don't know your son. I do know that some of year 2 are pushing the boundaries hard at my sons school and seeing what they can get away with at lunchtime in particular. It's annoying and making lunchtime quite stressful for some children while others are looking on with glee as their mate trys to cause mayhem.

Maybe don't go in all guns blazing , book a time to see class teacher and ask how your DS is doing behaviour wise.

tethersend Tue 13-Sep-11 22:03:09

Also, ask to see the incident report.

budgieshell Tue 13-Sep-11 22:14:15

Have you checked your sons arm for marks? If he had been grabbed by the arm and physicaly dragged he would have some marks on his arm. If he has take photos straight away. There is no way she needed to touch him in a situation like this. Taken him to HT maybe but no physical contact was needed.

sugarbea Tue 13-Sep-11 22:18:29

Thanks tethersend will ask for incident report. Twotestickles she's been lst there for YEARS! It's just become habit I guess that children get sent there. I know of many parents having had problems with the same woman....... Unis I tried to make it as clear as I could in my post that I don't usually go for the triviality of it all. All this lining up, line captain, line queen whatever sounds really silly to me but the kids go for it so hey. I never said ds didn't make it to the end of the line, he did. He didnt protest moving anywhere and cried as soon as she grabbed him according to reports. Now as a professional surely if your first reaction is to drag a child's arm even though he's done what you've asked and is complying then surely they are in the wrong job? A telling off? Yes an arm grabbing? No.

annh Tue 13-Sep-11 22:25:17

UniS, you see to be reading rather a lot into the OPs post! How do we have any idea whether her son is a pest, has been annoying other children and this is a regular thing?

ravenAK Tue 13-Sep-11 22:27:05

I would complain. Vigorously. & this is as both a teacher & mother of a 7 year old who can AmDram it with the best of them. wink

Doesn't matter if he is being a pest (as per UniS's post) or not. There is absolutely no reason whatsoever for a LTS to be forcibly lugging your ds about. Jumper throwing doesn't constitute a threat to anyone & there is no justification for physical intervention.

I would ask as to the school's protocol re: LTSs reporting behaviour incidents - unless they are intervening to prevent someone getting thumped, they really shouldn't be manhandling anyone.

sugarbea Tue 13-Sep-11 22:27:24

Hi budgie theres no marks. I'm not really sure what the extent of it is as it's really difficult with 6 year olds. He said it was red after but it happened at lunch time, I got him at 3. Its why I quoted "dragging" because 6 year olds are full of over exaggerations. It's really difficult.

tethersend Tue 13-Sep-11 22:27:36

Actually, even if OP's son was doing exactly what 'the other side of the story' says he was doing, dragging him by the arm would still be an unacceptable consequence.

tethersend Tue 13-Sep-11 22:28:27

yy, ask for physical handling/intervention policy too.

kipperandtiger Tue 13-Sep-11 23:28:52

There are probably going to be no marks after that length of time, even if she had hurt him. If enough children witnessed it and told their parents who were concerned enough to ring OP, I think it is an incident that should concern a parent. I would suggest making an appointment with the headteacher to discuss it.

snice Wed 14-Sep-11 00:02:13

I have no reason to either disbelieve or believe your son's story as without seeing it for myself or knowing your son its impossible.

What I would say however is that some children of that age will shout 'you're hurting me' if someone so much as brushes against them.

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