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Nervous about school?

(9 Posts)
ShaunSpencer Tue 06-Sep-11 19:42:52

I've just had to medicate my ds (going into Yr 2) as he's so worried about school.

We've not had to use medication all of the holidays, and now we are back to medication.

I don't know whether it's this school or any school - anyone else have a child with severe anxiety over school?

Any tips or suggestions gratefully received.

roundabout1 Tue 06-Sep-11 20:03:37

Oh how awful. Don't have any advice I'm afraid but my dd is starting yr 2 tomorrow & is nervous & have had lots of tears this afternoon. She has a strict teacher this year & has heard tales of how awful she is to pupils & parents alike which hasn't helped matters. Hope tomorrow goes as well as it can do for your ds. Was he like this in other years? Is it stress that cariies on throughout the year or is it change that bothers him?

26minutes Tue 06-Sep-11 20:18:08

Sorry no tips, totally sympathise with you though. I've been clearing up the sick tonight as I have to with ds1 (just goig into yr5 tomorrow) at the start of pretty much every term. He's always much worse after the long summer as he's been away for too long. He quite often works himself up on a Sunday night too sad.

I don't understand how a 10yr old hates school so much tht they work themselves up ti such a state that they are sick. He won't tell m if anything is wrong. He's always hated school, he was the same at his old one, had to be driven the half a mile the very 1st day in yrR and carried into school so not a new thing for us and I'm still none the wiser as to how to help him.

The only time he seems happy is when he has an assessment!

ShaunSpencer Tue 06-Sep-11 20:52:01

It's change that bothers him, but only change within the school environment.

He'll be severly anxious until about middle of next week. Then he'll be okay, until there's something new, which unfortunately will be a school trip that's the following week.

If anyone asks him he says he likes school, and does seem to enjoy it, once he's got over the anxiety.

26minutes changing schools didn't help then?

26minutes Tue 06-Sep-11 21:23:13

No, I'm not sure but think it possibly actually made it worse. I do know that he has had problems with 1 boy in particular but ti be fair the head is brilliant so thta has been sorted out last term. But even if those problems were present that wouldn't make any difference, he simply hates school. He won't or can't tell us what it is that he hates so much, he is very young still and maybe doesn't understand what he is feeling or why, I just don't know. We're not sure what to do. We can't afford for me to stay at home to home educate plus as he is G&T I don't think I'm equipped to do so.

What have you tried to do to help? We've tried sympathising, telling him stroies of when we were at school, we've tried explaining the importance of school & showing him what jobs he could get as an adult showing that there is a purpose to it. We've tried being hard on him, we've tried allsorts but nothing has helped at all.

ShaunSpencer Tue 06-Sep-11 22:09:41

School won't help they don't believe there's a problem and just think coincidentally he's only ever sick when there's a school trip/activity etc.

This is because he is so confident at school.

He wants to go to school, he doesn't want to be ill, but just can't handle it.

We have found that medication for the symptoms enables him to get through the day, but I don't like the idea of long term medication.

We've found if we can give him maximum amount of information about what's going to happen then he is better. But because school don't believe there is a problem (they can wash all the bedding, they can sit with him all night while he screams through night terrors, they can keep him safe at 4am as he prowls around the house in his sleep) they won't give me the information.

For example tomorrow is because he does not know who he is going to be sat next to. I'm sure by now the school have the seating plan (they are given set seats), if they sent me an email saying 'x is next to y' then it would go someway to easing him.

roundabout1 Thu 08-Sep-11 12:20:42

shaunspencer & 26minsHow did they get on at school?

ShaunSpencer Thu 08-Sep-11 18:35:45

Thanks for asking roundabout1

In school he's been absolutely fine, and is really chatty about what he has done and seems to have enjoyed it.

Unfortunately night time has been a different matter, he's wet the bed, been physically sick, sleep walked crying around the house, and eventually fallen asleep in our bed with his heart beating 19 to a dozen.

But has no recollection of any of it in the morning - which I suppose can be seen as a good thing.

26minutes Thu 08-Sep-11 20:24:56

ShaunSpencer, your poor lad (and poor you). At least he remembers nothing of it.

DS1 has been fine since, I think year 5 may be a that little more structured which is really going to suit him.

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