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classroom controller - year 1

(10 Posts)
bacon Thu 18-Aug-11 12:04:20

The bright spoilt boy - how do you stop your child from being so influenced by them?

Fed up with DS1 being contolled by his opinions and actions. Not just me but other parents arent happy either.

Need to nip this in the bud - we have good discipline, rules and routine but most arguments seem to revolve around 'HRH'.

Should I speak to the teacher or is this a waste of time?

cornsilx Thu 18-Aug-11 12:05:23

What's happened?

bacon Thu 18-Aug-11 13:44:02

Back chat, coming home with attitude, things he said, bad behaviour and doing what he sayes. No wonder this boy has so much control all the boys are following him he has so much control.

I was there when he was telling my son what to do and my son did exactly what he said! Sick of it.

2BoysTooLoud Thu 18-Aug-11 14:39:11

Is this in class? [Still hols here].
Have a word with the teacher so they and playground supervisors can keep an eye on situation.

Lizcat Thu 18-Aug-11 16:06:52

I find myself saying the same things as my mother ' If HRH told you to jump under a bus would you do it?' and ' I don't care what HRH does this is what we do in our family'.
We have had some of this and really me saying the same stuff over and over again sticking to my guns has stopped it. I feel that the sooner they learn to stand up to peer pressure the better.

2kidsintow Thu 18-Aug-11 23:28:13

How old is DS?

You say you have good discipline in place.

Spell it out to DS....
These are your expectations of behaviour.
This is what you will not stand for.
It is your DS who chooses how to behave no matter who is trying to sway him.
If he chooses to misbehave, then these are the consequences.

PastSellByDate Sat 20-Aug-11 09:37:38

I'm no expert by my youngest DD has had similar problems with some of the girls whislt in Y1.

I decided to wait until she raised the issue. One day she said that she was always getting ordered about by someone and shouted at and that she really didn't like it. We discussed what was said - which was all pretty tame, but understandably upsetting, and I asked her why does she play with this girl then? And then I took the conversation from there. I purposely discussed why she would consider this girl a good friend if she says mean things and treats her badly on a regular basis. How is that being a friend?

In my DD's case, she hadn't considered going off and playng by herself. She was uncomfortable with playing by herself and really wanted to be included. I pointed out that she could ask other people to play with her and reminded her she had plenty of other friends in the class. I also mentioned that there was playground equipment and a hop scotch grid she could use - so instead of being bossed about/ picked on by this girl, she could go and do something else, even if it was on her own.

Gradually over the year, more and more of the girls have opted to not play with this girl when she's being particularly pushy. I haven't solved the problem - but I have given my DD permission to walk away from it.

I will say this - there does seem to be a phase in Y1/ Y2 where it seems the children are settling the pecking order in the playground. It resolves itself eventually.

bacon Tue 23-Aug-11 16:17:58

I had another lad over for tea last week and he was so sweet and I am trying to introduce more boys over to break this. The class will be 5-6yrs old yr 1.

Even though HRH has lovely young parents I feel as though he also rules at home and they are not hard enough on him.

I was shocked a while ago when he came over for tea his back chat, attitude and poor table manners had me mad, not just that but they way he critised my sons toys/bedroom which upset me. Feels like he thinks he older and wiser than anyone else in the class.

We went to a party a while ago and my son's behaviour was shocking, HRH seemed to be controlling a bunch of boys and they were following. I completely lost it and went over and gave them all a good talking to as I felt sorry for the little boys (party) parents who were battling to control them. I was niffed that no other parent seemed to take any action.

I am talking to him and telling him that HRH knows nothing (seems to have an opinion on the world amazing at 5!) He has more than him (not toys as I have never seen anything like it!) our home is amazing and the freedom he has. Suppose have to keep ploughing it into him.

Jesusgirl Wed 24-Aug-11 09:10:19

I don't think there's really much the teacher us going to do. In every stage of life, there's always the alpha male that tends to call the shots. Trust me, it won't last long, other boys will realise he's not that 'cool' afterall and put him in his place. Besides I think the 'role' tends to be rotated between the boys, so your ds might become the leader of the pack soon!

Just speak to your ds about standing up for himself and doing what he knows is right even when others are doing it even if it's HRH.

spiderpig8 Thu 25-Aug-11 23:42:25

I think yiou are being a little bit unfair.Your DS has a choice in the way he behaves.

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