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Moving school at almost 6

(61 Posts)
Benzer Sun 24-Jul-11 00:10:10

Hi, I'm moving my daughter to a new school in Sept & she's devastated. I feel soooo guilty. Old school excellent and she was top of her class, but I want her to make Religious Sacraments that the old school couldn't support. Wondering how to cope with the sobbing & pleas. Bought new Uniform today which started the tears tonight. I was sympathetic but firm. Spent an hour comforting & logically going through all pros & cons & she was less upset in the end. Have promised her we'll see her old friends & that she IS going to the new school.. I feel really guilty as my daughters a v sensitive wee thing & I feel her pain. Dreading Sept.

Jajas Sun 24-Jul-11 00:16:24

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

madhattershouse Sun 24-Jul-11 00:19:27

Umm...if you are dreading Sept it is a problem of your making, deal with it! She was happy and are the one that has changed that. Hope that dd copes, she most likely will, but am wondering why, if she was doing so well, you thought that she would not react badly to being moved??

fivegomadindorset Sun 24-Jul-11 00:20:57

I am guessing that you are possibly catholic and want to do commuion? But could be wrong, but if I am right amd very bemused why you would need to change schools, and if you wanted her to di the Religious Sacraments why did you not apply for that school in the first place.

Whay wont the old school support and what were you expecting?

Benzer Sun 24-Jul-11 00:25:51

Catholic Sacraments Jajas. Yes, she does want to make them & so is torn...and yes I'd already told her & she went to the end of term party at her new school. She has been talking about the move almost daily, but in her head it seemed to be a maybe, which I'd back down from under pressure. Wish it was that simple! Today was the final frontier where I've firmly told her the move IS happening. Just want to deal with it as best I can for her. I completely understand her reaction.

threefeethighandrising Sun 24-Jul-11 00:28:04

As an atheist I can't pretend to understand the religious aspect of this, but are your sure you're doing the right thing?

Couldn't she stay at her school and you explore other ways to facilitate this bit of her life?

If she's happy and settled there why move her unless absolutely necessary? You could be doing her a great disservice.

I really feel for her tbh.

fivegomadindorset Sun 24-Jul-11 00:28:14

I still don't get why you had to move her, DD is Catholic and she started school in a CofE school but we would have taken her to prepare for her communion outside of school.

fivegomadindorset Sun 24-Jul-11 00:28:42

Ans why didn't she go to the Catolich school in the first place?

Benzer Sun 24-Jul-11 00:30:42

Yes, that's what I had planned but turns out it's not so; having discussed it with all concerned we've decided moving her is best option of a bad bunch. Doesn't make it any easier to do though!

fivegomadindorset Sun 24-Jul-11 00:32:21


threefeethighandrising Sun 24-Jul-11 00:42:58

Please can you explain why you need to move her in simple terms, I still really don't get it. (Sorry if I'm being dense!)

madhattershouse Sun 24-Jul-11 00:47:09

Basically because of benzer's religious beliefs she is sacrificing her dd's happiness! Sorry but YABU!!

QBEE Sun 24-Jul-11 00:52:45

You have made a mistake.

Leave the tags on the uniform and plead the old excellent school in which your dd was top of the class, happy and settled, to take her back in September.

fivegomadindorset Sun 24-Jul-11 00:53:41

I still don't understand why you didnt send her to the catholic school in the first place.

madhattershouse Sun 24-Jul-11 00:54:29

Totally agree with QBEEShe needs to be where she was doing well!

yellowsubmarine41 Sun 24-Jul-11 07:45:33

OP, a bit more background ie why you dd couldn't go to the Catholic school in the first place and why she isn't able to make her sacaments out of school would help.

Otherwise, you're going to get flamed because of the limited information that you've given so far.

everlong Sun 24-Jul-11 08:02:27

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MigratingCoconuts Sun 24-Jul-11 08:05:24

sorry, but I am with threefeethighandrising which means my post is not at all helpful to you really. I see that your religious convictions must be very strong in deed.

All I can do is wish you luck with it as I think you are right about how september will be. I hope it works out.

CliniqueMum Sun 24-Jul-11 08:11:28

Can't see why she has to do her sacraments through school, lots of children I thought do them in their own time at Sunday school. Giving up a good school for what could be perceived as an extra curricular activity does seem to be unreasonable.

MovingAndScared Sun 24-Jul-11 08:16:49

my DS moved school at half term also in reception - he is fine -he was't happy about it either - we moved 200 miles so no choice - he was mainly just worried
- do you know any children that would be in her class? maybe you could set up a play date in the holidays?
but have to say I was brought up a catholic and did my holy commuion prep at sunday school too

LIZS Sun 24-Jul-11 08:17:43

I'm sure she will be fine but think you need to explain to her that she is going now rather than debate it and help her move on positively by arranging playdates and visits. A 5 year old cannot fully comprehend why the status quo needs to change to accommodate religious rituals let alone have the emotional capacity to feel torn and make a meaningful choice. To her it is probably a very confusing and unsettling situation.

Agree with others that having made the initial chocie you did why the sudden need to change to Catholic now ?

exoticfruits Sun 24-Jul-11 08:22:07

I was going to say they adapt quickly but then find you are moving her from a good school where she is very happy to do something that isn't in the least necessary from a school. confused Why can't she do it through the church?

You can go ahead but I would think that you are putting her right off the Catholic faith! If you were my mother I would vote with my feet as soon as I was able.

Why did you wait until she was settled to do it? You could have sorted it before she went to school.

MumblingRagDoll Sun 24-Jul-11 08:31:09

I must say people are giving the OP a very hard time,,,. and all because they dont understand religion.

The child is SIX and she will adjust. My DD is almost 7 and we are mving he to a new school in September. Change is part of life. If DD has manage to settle once she will do so again.

MumblingRagDoll Sun 24-Jul-11 08:33:32

If people would read the post properly...they would see that the OP wants the Sacraments to be supported in school. She wants her child to hve a Catholic education. a few years time your DD wont even remeber her old school It's fine.

exoticfruits Sun 24-Jul-11 08:36:19

I dare say she will adjust but it will seriously put her off religion! It seems counter productive to me.
It seems very selfish to me. OP didn't get her act together before she started.If it is so important why didn't she think of it before her DD settled? As she has now thought of it why can't she do it outside of school?
As a DC I was very reasonable-I moved schools at 6yrs-but we moved 160miles away and I could see there was no alternative.

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