my 8 year old DD just had sex ed lesson ???? Is this right

[mrsrat]

My year 3 daughter just came back asking how old i was when i learnt about vaginas and penises !!!!!!!!! We had no prior warning about the lesson but I did with my eldest. Is this right ?

[stupefy]

surely 8 year olds should have known about penises and vaginas for AT LEAST 5 years.

[SetTheRayToJerry]

what stupefy said

[BadBagel]

Sex education on the last day of school

[Thandeka]

Defo should have been having a form of sex ed since starting school (though is more friendships and body parts when small).
The school should have a sex ed policy setting out what is taught. Parents have a right of withdrawal from sex education apart from the bits in science national curriculum so usually should be informed before lessons begin. It may have been a science lesson?

[notcitrus]

Rather hard to educate girls who are likely to start periods any time now without mentioning vaginas, I'd have thought.

[ElbowFan]

...was this with homework over the holidays?

[RitaMorgan]

Isn't it the last day of term? Seems odd to start sex ed now - you sure it wasn't just playground talk or something?

[Sidge]

I'm more surprised that your 8 year old has only just discovered what vaginas and penises are.

Isn't this something you've mentioned before now? I mean, they're just the correct names for a part of the body, I assume you've told her she has elbows and shoulderblades, so why not a vagina?

My 4 year old knows that men have penises and women have vaginas.

[mrsrat]

She does know about vaginas and penises but I think she was just a bit embarrased. Was definitely a lesson not playground talk as she is in a small village school with mixed year groups and they took out the year 2's. Not really that bothered just suprised that we didnt receive a letter telling us about it first as I am sure if i had told her she was going to have a talk about the birds and the bees she might not have been so embarassed.

[Mum2be79]

Are you sure it was a 'birds and bees' talk? Many parents get hung up on sex-ed thinking their child will come home talking about the 'ins and outs' (sorry about the phrase, no pun intended!) of sex and how babies are made. Most sex-ed classes in primary schools are really 'growing up talks' which inform the children about the correct terminology for body parts and how their body will change. Being a teacher myself, I know only too well the importance of teaching this to children BEFORE it begins to happen which EVERY year has happened in Year 4 to at least a couple of children.

Don't get me wrong, I am not 'for' teaching children about the mechanics and reasons behind sex but at an early age, children should know it is a penis and vagina and not use the slang terms. The more the see and hear terms like this being used in a sensible and responsible manner, the less likely the are to seek misguided information from friends and magazines and get into trouble.

I'm a big believer that the more we talk to children about their bodies (even when they enquire at an early age), the less likely they are to think it's 'dirty' or 'naughty' or 'out of bounds' and seek more information and are thus confronted with information and images that encourage promiscuity and under-age sex.

After all, we have one of the worst underage sex and pregnancy rates in the developed world. As a nation, too many of us are embarrassed to talk to our kids about this, hence the reason why they too get embarrassed but are eager for knowledge and without discussing it or guiding our kids, we risk them finding out by other means which maybe a route we'd prefer them not to take!

[megkat]

everything mum2be79 said [smile}

[fenellaf]

I teach Y3 and we have the 'body part' lessons where we teach the correct name for the genitalia. However, I give talk to the parents and show them some of the DVD that we watch, and I also explain why it's important for the children to know the correct body parts.

[pantaloons]

Hmmm, my dd is in a mixed year group class in a small school, but is in year 2 of the 2/3 mix. She came home with a letter yesterday saying they were covering it today, and to let them know if you object.

I was quite surprised they hadn't covered it already, but apparently it was "boring" and Miss showed a video of "all your inside bits."

It's either a very small world, or they might be in the same school!

[MM5]

It is a subject that we have to cover in primary schools. However, it is one that teachers very rarely enjoy teaching and it ends up being at the end of the school year. All of my teacher friends in different schools in different authorities have been teaching Sex and Relationship Education (SRE) this past week.

[ragged]

I am surprised they didn't sound out a letter, are you sure they didn't?
I sometimes/often don't get letters.
By end of y3 they should know the names of body parts. That's just biology & personal care, not sex-ed.
tbh, if they don't know the Facts of Life by end of y3 they are going to be spreading the weirdest rumours about how babies get there. Some of the stories will be far lewder & cruder than the truth! Best to be truthful.

[maypole1]

mrsrat if your child is 8 and dose not know what a vagina's or penises is this is exactly why they need the lesson if people would actually teach their children this stuff the school wouldn't have to pick up the slack how very sad

no wonder why so many teens end up with sti or pregnant if this is were we are children not even knowing what the privates are called.

[MigratingCoconuts]

maypole, that's a tiny bit harsh. I do agree with you that kids should know the correct names before 8 years old.

However, I think high teenage birth rate has as much to do with low self esteem and low life expectations in teenage girls than it does with ignorance. I work as a secondary school teacher and a certain section of teenage girls want to get pregnant asap as the only ambition they have in life.

[mrsrat]

Maypole 1 if you read my posts they do know what a vagina and penis is. That wasn't the issue . My issue was that i thought that schools did that sort of talk later and that i would get a letter first. It transpires a letter was sent out the previous week but my DD was off ill so didnt get it..

[mrsrat]

Maypole1 I also find your post quite nasty

[Malcontentinthemiddle]

And how ironic that having banged on about 'proper names' you then refer to them as 'privates'.

[MrsCog]

I didn't know what a vagina was until I was 9ish - I just thought I had a poo hole and a wee hole until my Mum told me - It didn't do me any harm at all. Not that I think this is a reason not to tell children, but I think there are a few hysterical unkind comments at the OP on this thread.

[mrsrat]

Thank you MRsCog, dont come on MN very often but have been a bit put off to be honest. All i wanted was some impartial advise about whether my DD was a bit young to be having the talk from school. I didnt mention anything about what my DD did or didnt know. As it happens I am pretty old fashioned and I do want to keep things until I feel they really need to know or, if not knowing would embarrass them in front of their friends. Anyway bit disappointed by reactions

[pseudonomic]

I'm of the opinion you either pre-empt or put up with sex ed at school. I am raising mine to know about both sex and babies (on a basic level) plus how to refer to body parts. So it's not a shock when they do get it covered at school. If she already knew I'm not sure what you are upset about. Are you also upset that she knows about war, famine or terrorism? They may well have covered those subjects too without making sure you had prewarning.

And I started my periods at nine so I would have been absolutely petrified had my parents not told me how things worked - given that I didn't get any sex ed or personal development classes till I was 11.