Help! bad settling in visit

[houseofboys]

My DS had a settling in visit at his school this week and found out only the next day (from him and pre-school) that he was told off twice and the teacher refused to give him a sticker at end for bad behaviour. The preschool are upset about it, as apparently what he did was take a long time in the toilet when he should have been sitting down for the story, but the teacher hadn't noticed he was missing. Also he was told off for putting a toy in his pocket.(implication I guess that he was trying to take it home)
I went to ask the teacher what had happened really and she was very stroppy with me, I guess as I was questioning her, though I tried to be gentle about it. I tried to say that he is not disobedient generally and didn't want her to think that from start. Now I know this might sound like I'm oversensitive and if he was naughty then he should be told off etc etc but I'm upset that his school career should have begun like this. He is a loving, caring and at times lively child and pre school assure me he isn't naughty but is generally very obliging.

[pinkgirlythoughts]

At the settling in visit for children in our Reception classes last year, one boy used a thermometer to stab one of the half-hatched school ducklings to death, showed no remorse whatsoever, and refused to apologise!

There was uproar in the staffroom, and we all said we couldn't wait to meet this duckling killing child, felt sorry for his poor class teacher, etc.... to this day I still don't know which child it was, as by the time September came around, we'd all forgotten about it!

Don't worry, the slate will be wiped clean for September... and at least he didn't kill a duck!

[fluffyanimal]

How has your DS reacted to this? Is he OK about it, or has it made him upset and anxious about starting school? Teachers have to be very careful about not seeming to show other children special treatment, she was probably doing just what she would have done with one of the normal reception class. You probably also don't know in what tone he was told off - it might have been something like "No, when we are told we all come to sit on the carpet for story time, we don't dawdle in the toilet" or "No, that belongs to the school, please put it back now". I probably wouldn't have gone with behaviour stickers for pre-school visitors, but even so, if you do do that, you can't give everyone good behaviour stickers as that's meaningless.

If he is anxious and upset, just try to reassure him that at school he must listen to what the teachers tell him and do his best to do what they ask at the right time, but also try to focus on the fun and positive things he will have experienced.