I am obviously pathetic because I have spent most of the evening blubbing and pouring wine down my throat about DS2's school report.

[LynetteScavo]

I have no idea where to start with this!!!
DS2 (Y3) is handsome, very kind, artistic, musical and sporty, and very well behaved at school. He has always been very verbal (launched into three word sentences("I like it" / "You have it") around his first birthday) and can do great impressions of cartoon characters, so could possibly be good at languages.

He was very late at rhyming and reading (finally started to read at 6.5), but can keep up average children in maths. His writing is painfully s-l-o-w. He can show his ability orally, but not on paper, and his teacher recognises this.

He has the same teacher for art, music and French (not his class teacher). According to this teacher (who I can only presume had drunk even more red wine than I have this evening, when she wrote the paragraph of his report, for her sentence construction is so poor!) he "could have ability in these subjects,but doesn't". (She doesn't expand)

Now, I accept DS2 will never be an academic high flyer, but he does have his strengths, which I think will stand him well in life. I so sad these have not been recognised in his school report.

And today he spent the afternoon with his Y4 teacher. He says it was "rubbish" because she told the class she is a "slave driver" and if they don't do enough work in class she will send it home to be completed.

At this point I tried to reassure him by saying if he bought more work home than just his usual homework I would send a note back saying "DS2 was too busy helping me cook tea, having a bath and playing with his brother and sister to finish his work." - Yes I do feel awful for undermining his new teacher already!

His currrent class teacher and the head are retiring, so I will have to wait until Y4 to really tackle this. I'm so that my other 2 DC, who are are by no means perfect have been recognised for their strengths, but DS2 hasn't been.

[flimflammery]

it sounds like the para in the report has a word missing. 'could have ability in these subjects but doesn't... apply himself'?

[thisisyesterday]

is it just this one bit that's upset you? how was the rest of his report?

do you think that she means he has the potential to be very good in those areas, but isn't right now? she should obviously have explained WHY she thinks this and what he can do to improve, but it's not that bad is it?
Can you ask to see her about it and talk about what you can do to help him, or what she plans on doing to help him?

with regard to the Yr4 teacher, we had a similar situation going from R to YR1 when the yr1 teacher told the kids that she made them work hard and that she gets really angry sometimes (!)

turns out she is actually lovely, and talking like that is just how she is and once the kids got used to her they all really liked her but we were all definitely a bit scared before the start of last year lol

[beaconhouse]

hi, schoolreports can be a nightmare - they can feel like a personal atack on your beloved child....but they are not. That teacher has prob at least 30 other reports to write and you know your son better than anyone else....if he enjoys art/music then that is the main thing and it sounds like he may be good a these things....my advice, for what little its worth is to pour another glass of wine and congratulate yourself on what a wonderful son you have. Then maybe think of stuff you can do to encourage him out of school in the areas you think he is good at - dramma lessons, learning a musical instument or whatever you think he would really enjoy...don't forget that they are still so young...a slightly off comment in one infant school report is just that - its not a judgment on him or you for the rest of his life x

[MoreBeta]

"He was very late at rhyming and reading (finally started to read at 6.5), but can keep up average children in maths. His writing is painfully s-l-o-w. He can show his ability orally, but not on paper, and his teacher recognises this."

No expertise but 'could he be dyslexic?' immediately springs into my mind.

If that is not the explanation then as we have found with DS2, he can be quite lazy but also 'handsome, very good at art, musical and sporty. He is also left handed and his writing is slow partly for that reason.

[LynetteScavo]

Do you know what I think I will go and talk to this art/music/French teacher!

DS1 disliked her so much he refused to attend the afternoons with her, so spent those afternoons with his class teacher during her PPA time (actually he played on the computer in the corridor which suited him just fine)

[LynetteScavo]

MoreBeta, I do think he's dyslexic, yes, and am having him tested this summer.

Thank you all for listening to me rant me off load.

[LynetteScavo]

DS1 is a completely different case - too long to go into here, lol!

[zipzap]

Our school reports (ds1 is just finishing Y1) have a page on the back that have spaces for both you and your child to comment on how you think the report is - accurate, missing anything, say all the things I was too scared to say during the year as you are scary and occasionally vindictive-- thank you to the teacher and so on, that they keep on record with their copy of the report.

Is it worth asking for some sort of system like that or send your own note to go with the report highlighting where you see the differences?

[bitsyandbetty]

Perhaps he just does not like those subjects or the way they are taught.

[clam]

I think that was an appalling thing to write on a child's report. What does it mean anyway?
We would not be allowed by our Head to send out a report that had something so ambiguous, negative and unhelpful on it. Nor would we want to, anyway, as professionals.
Use your parent voice. Plenty of others do, believe me! Write back (on the feedback form if there is one, or as a letter otherwise) asking for someone to explain exactly what was meant by that comment.

[RMutt]

Agree with Flimflam, it sounds like there's a bit missing. Could you ask for clarification?

Please don't feel so upset I think once in a while you'll always run into a teacher who either you don't especially click with or doesn't 'get' you. He's got a long way to go yet.

I have been known to think 'hmm maybe dc just finds your teaching uninspiring' Of course I never say that out loud. I just nod thoughtfully