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Headteacher not happy about me winning my appeal :(

(22 Posts)
marysgarden Mon 04-Jul-11 15:49:46

Found out today from my friend, that she spoke to the headteacher and the head said that she is most upset that 2 children got in on appeal as its putting pressure on the school. I think its wrong that firstly she is saying this to other parents and it worries me how the head will approach me and my son. The head has always been confident that no one wins appeals and this has been true for the past 5 years, so now I feel like the parent who has really stirred things up and I am going to feel anything but comfortable while my child is at the school for the next 4 years sad

lovecheese Mon 04-Jul-11 16:03:00

Oh dear, poor you, and how unprofessional of the Head to tittle-tattle with other parents about it! shock. No advice just wanted to offer sympathy.

baffledmum Mon 04-Jul-11 16:03:07


I think you really need to find out whether it is true that the head has said this before worrying about it. I'd make a friendly appointment and ask to speak with them. If they say they haven't said it then your friend isn't so much of a friend afterall or the head's possibly a liar for denying it, and if the head has said it, they could really do a with a shot across their bows for unprofessional conduct and to make them aware that there is a gossipy parent willing to share information. It's all a bit "he said, she said" at the moment.

baffledmum Mon 04-Jul-11 16:04:43

The other thing I might do here is to ask my friend why she's told me this piece of information. It's hardly going to make you feel great. I'd be feeling as uncomfortable as you. Maybe your friend could come along to the appointment with you and stand by her comment?

Snuppeline Mon 04-Jul-11 16:04:52

Was the friend you mention a parent or a teacher at the school? If your friend is a teacher then I think the head is justified in voicing concerns about limited resources to staff. They have to find a solution which works for the school after all. If, however, your friend is a parent then I think the head was being unprofessional.

baffledmum Mon 04-Jul-11 16:05:48

If the friend is a teacher then I think they have crossed the professional line by passing the comment on to a friend.

MigratingCoconuts Mon 04-Jul-11 17:19:09

friend could be governor??

I can well see that the Head might feel this in general terms but this does not mean it would become a personal matter coming back at your DC.

The other way the head might view you personally is that you are a dynamic parent who is very positive about the school. Pro active aprents are really important assets!

skybluepearl Mon 04-Jul-11 17:41:17

yes he may complain about there being too many bodies in the class but he won't turn his nose up at the extra money the school will recieve having extra child there.

marysgarden Mon 04-Jul-11 17:41:48

My friend is just another parent at the school,not a teacher or governor. It does make me wonder why my friend told me. Every year the school has had more than 30 pupils, not through appeals though,children with SEN were admitted after the initial allocation round ,wonder what she makes of that scenario!! As long as my ds is not made to feel any different then hopefully as the year progresses it will all be forgotten

mrz Mon 04-Jul-11 17:43:01

Not much of a friend for repeating this ...
But did you honestly expect the school to be happy? Having said that the school should (and will) act professionally towards your child.

grumpypants Mon 04-Jul-11 17:47:27

Seriously baffledmum make an appointment to ask if he said this? Can you imagine how that would go? Just do nothing. He may have said this - so what? You will find there are loads of stressful encounters at school - you could lose so much sleep if you fretted about every odd look/ comment/ snub/ etc.
Go to the school, be nice, you'll be fine.

MordechaiVanunu Mon 04-Jul-11 17:59:04

Heads/teachers/governors are usually not happy about loosing appeals. Thats why you had to appealhmm.

I bet the head didn't outright say they weren't happy but suggested that there was extra pressure because if it. Or something.

I'm sure it will not affect how they will treat you or your child though and of it did then you have a problem to go in about.

You don't make friends though appealing, you do it because you think its best for your child. So suck it up.

mrz Mon 04-Jul-11 18:20:43

I posted before I saw your last post ... it seems to me that your "friend" is stirring and knows no more than you do. Don't expect the school to be happy you have won but don't brood on it either.

baffledmum Mon 04-Jul-11 18:30:29

On reflection grumpypants you are right - ignore the head. And look for a new friend!

MerylStrop Mon 04-Jul-11 18:33:27

I think you should ignore it.
I doubt that the Headteacher of a presumably successful school would go around being so indiscrete. Accomodating two additional children will obviously create some new stuff for the school to deal with but I am sure that they regularly face far greater challenges.
And I think your "friend" is being less than helpful. As baffled said. Ask her why she told you. Is it going to affect your child's happiness, wellbeing and relationship with the school? Doubt it very much.

Northernlurker Mon 04-Jul-11 18:47:21

I think it's your 'friend' who is annoyed and is perceiving some disadvantage to their child in the situation. Ignore this. Well done on the appeal - how did you manage that?

HooverTheHamaBeads Mon 04-Jul-11 20:49:19

In any event, there is always movement in the school. While the school may have to accommodate two extra children others will no doubt leave in time and the numbers will come down again.

I also think that your friend is projecting her own issues in the comments she's made. The head may not have said anything like that.

Well done on winning your appeal. Try and relax and don't worry about it and just be excited for your DC's first day.

clam Mon 04-Jul-11 20:55:21

Schools don't tend to want more than 30 pupils in an infant class. You must have known that when you appealed. So it can't be rocket science that they're not in favour of 32. It will cause them inconvenience and pressure, (although it won't be obvious come September which two children are the "extras") and the couple of thousand quid per child per year will not count for a fraction of the cost of the extra teacher they will now have to fund.
I know you didn't ask this, but I do think YAB a little U. And I would certainly not go in and ask the Head about it. You wanted the school, you've got it, so suck it up.

marysgarden Mon 04-Jul-11 21:50:35

It is a junior school,not infant class. I think it was more just the fact that she 'may' have made her feelings clear to another parent. But Ive got over the initial shock of what she may or may not have said and as other people have said it doesnt really matter now. The appeal was very hardwork,but the LEA couldnt prove the school would suffer prejudice so thats how I won.
Thank you for all the replies

prh47bridge Mon 04-Jul-11 22:16:54

clam - Even if this was an infant class the school would not have to fund an additional teacher at this stage. The two children admitted on appeal would be excepted pupils who do not count towards the infant class size limit. An extra teacher would only be needed if they were still over the class size limit next September.

kateecass Mon 04-Jul-11 23:03:13

My DS's class got an extra boy admitted January-ish. Everyone was a bit "ooh where did he come from?" but I'd say the novelty has worn off and he and his Mum seem to be fitting in (she did already ave 2 of her other boys in school though). She is in PTA, perhaps you could join PTA and help in school might counter any negative feeling, just a thought.

mercibucket Mon 04-Jul-11 23:07:43

it seems a bit late in the day to start worrying about this! the head was never going to be happy really were they?
having said that, I'd imagine your 'friend' is in fact projecting her own opinion and the head said no such thing. i also would be shocked if it affected the head's relationship with you or the school's relationship with your child

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