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Co-sleeping and starting school presented as bad by school

(83 Posts)
camaleon Tue 28-Jun-11 16:55:59

Our school has recommended parents to stop co-sleeping with kids who are starting reception next September in order to help them with their independence and make it easier for them to start school.

Honestly I have not a view on co-sleeping for the general public. I know parents who do it and others who do not. I believe nobody should tell me how to sleep in general. I would have never thought it was linked to a smooth transition into their reception year and I can easily imagine children who co-sleep with brothers or sisters or grandparents due to lack of space in the house or whatever reason.

Is this a normal recommendation?

thisisyesterday Tue 28-Jun-11 16:58:59

no, it isn't normal and IMHO it's way overboard.
who the fuck are they to tell people how to sleep with their child???? FFS

i know quite a few people (as a member of a far crunchier forum than this lol) who co-sleep until their child is ready to stop. many are also still breastfed

without exception they have started school just like every other child, with no problem being independent at all

god. things like this make me so bloody angry.

AgonyBeetle Tue 28-Jun-11 17:00:07

I wouldn't have thought schools need to have an opinion on where people sleep. hmm

I do, however, know some people whose dc had got into the habit of staying up until adult bedtime, which is fine when they are little (though it wouldn't be to everybody's taste) but caused problems once the dc started school and needed to get up reasonably early in the morning.

So I think it's fair enough for the school to point out the importance of making sure children get enough sleep, and that bedtimes may need to be adjusted to fit with the school schedule. But it's none of their business who sleeps where, as long as the dc are getting enough sleep overall.

munstersmum Tue 28-Jun-11 17:02:22

We never co-slept until after DS started school. He would wander in at 2am wanting a cuddle. Many confessions of musical beds from parents in the playground including at least two I knew were governors.

TheProvincialLady Tue 28-Jun-11 17:04:14

No mention of it in the preparing for school recommendations in my DS's literature. Being toilet trained, able to wash hands, dress self and blow own nose are all listed but nothing to do with sleeping. It does sound a bit busy bodyish.

Riveninside Tue 28-Jun-11 17:04:36

I think the school should butt out on this one.

mrz Tue 28-Jun-11 17:04:42

Why on earth would a school even mention sleeping arrangements?

thisisyesterday Tue 28-Jun-11 17:04:53

yes i agree it's fine to mention about making sure your child is getting enough sleep.

not ok to tell people where they can sleep though

Elibean Tue 28-Jun-11 17:06:52

How bizarre hmm

Certainly wasn't part of our new parents' evening!

ElbowFan Tue 28-Jun-11 17:09:57

Failure to comply may result in a visit from the newly appointed Sleeping Arrangements Inspector!!

camaleon Tue 28-Jun-11 17:11:57

The recommendation is included in a leaflet that we should read to our children so they know they should sleep in their own bed (along with the obvious wipe your bottom, eat by yourself, etc.)

Thank you for clarifying this is not a common occurrence.

camaleon Tue 28-Jun-11 17:12:52

smile at ElbowFan comment

cat64 Tue 28-Jun-11 17:20:40

Message withdrawn

RitaMorgan Tue 28-Jun-11 17:25:51

So cat64 you think the school meant to say the child has to sleep in a bed, or the same bed every night? Still seems an odd thing to meddle in.

"Get enough sleep" is fair enough.

horsemadmom Tue 28-Jun-11 17:32:41

We're talking about 4 year old children here. They should have regular, sensible bedtimes and regular, sensible beds- without adults in them.

camaleon Tue 28-Jun-11 17:34:18

cat64, the message was quite clear and was explained to us verbally as a means to help detachment from parents and to teach them 'to take risks'

Feenie Tue 28-Jun-11 17:39:34

Way over the mark, and if our Reception teacher said such a thing at new parents I would be very cross - or if such a thing had been said to me as a new parent last year. None of their effing business!

They should have regular, sensible bedtimes and regular, sensible beds- without adults in them.

The first part is something schools always recommend, for obvious reasons. The second is just your opinion, horsemadmom.

mumblechum1 Tue 28-Jun-11 17:42:28

Must admit I'd never heard of 4 year olds still sleeping in their parents' beds.

the odd time ds did when he was ill and little was murder, all diagonal lying and elbows in eyes.

Feenie Tue 28-Jun-11 17:44:06

It's more a case of both parents who are working full time and are knackered just lifting the duvet up and saying 'get in' - well, it is in our house, anyway. grin

HooverTheHamaBeads Tue 28-Jun-11 17:51:25

The only advice I would say the school is qualified to dish out about sleeping would be a recommended bedtime. I'm sure the teachers in term one pay the price for late nights with exhausted children and challenging behaviour.

pointydog Tue 28-Jun-11 17:55:14

How strange. Just a normal state primary?

PippiLongBottom Tue 28-Jun-11 17:57:09

We co-sleep with ds1. He is 4.5.

KatieMiddleton Tue 28-Jun-11 17:59:24

Weird. Hardly their business and very inappropriate to mention it at all IMO. And I'm a reluctant co-sleeper with a 2yo <sighs>

cat64 Tue 28-Jun-11 18:21:22

Message withdrawn

Feenie Tue 28-Jun-11 18:24:51

But the point isn't whether many people share the opinion or not, it's whether someone's opinion has a bearing on what new parents at a school should be told.

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