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Inappropriate teacher behaviour?

(124 Posts)
urbanite Sat 18-Jun-11 10:51:27

My son is in reception and one of their newish teachers is a young male nursery worker. He has singled out a few of the boys, including mine, as his favourites, calls them 'my [name]' and 'my favourite boys'/ my gang - tickles their necks. It all feels a bit intrusive. All the other staff, male and female, have quite clear (possibly too much so) boundaries and don't seem to get close to the kids at all. It just seems slightly off - maybe more appropriate in nursery but even there I think it would be a bit odd. Not just because he's a man. Would you say something to a manager - not to try and cause a storm, but maybe just to alert him about appropriate boundaries? Or am I being silly?

rabbitstew Sat 18-Jun-11 10:57:11

Doesn't sound silly to me - totally and utterly inappropriate to single children out and call them your favourites.

BarbarianMum Sat 18-Jun-11 11:05:05

The tickling wouldn't bother me. The favoritism definitely would. My only question would be, are you sure this is something that happens in class time (as a pose to home time, in which case it may be for your benefit).

EveryonesJealousOfGingers Sat 18-Jun-11 11:07:25

Inappropriate and unfair to favour certain children - I am sure all teachers have their favourites but should be too professional to show it.

c0rn55ilk Sat 18-Jun-11 11:07:34

favouritism is not on - very unprofessional.

homeboys Sat 18-Jun-11 11:07:42

how do you know he doesnt talk and behave this way with all the boys from time to time?

colditz Sat 18-Jun-11 11:09:29

Is he referring to his entire class as his favourite boys? Cos to be honest he just seems a bit stuck in 3 year old land, where being silly and jolly is the order of the day and they don't really need to respect you.

urbanite Sat 18-Jun-11 11:15:05

Son seems certain it is just this little group (but would he know, really?), and definitely in classtime, though I have seen a bit of it when I'm there too. Even if he isn't favouring them I don't think they should believe he is, iyswim. I do not want to make trouble unnecessarily though.

RitaMorgan Sat 18-Jun-11 11:17:58

Favouritism is not on, but the tickling/affection sounds very normal for a nursery environment - maybe he is struggling to adjust the the more formal adult-child relationships at a school?

c0rn55ilk Sat 18-Jun-11 11:18:13

ah so this is from what ds had told you? May not be entirely accurate then! Just keep an eye on it.

c0rn55ilk Sat 18-Jun-11 11:19:51

I'm sure the teacher will spot it anyway if it is happening.

blackeyedsusan Sat 18-Jun-11 11:26:23

have a word, trust your instincts

JenaiMarrHePlaysGuitar Sat 18-Jun-11 11:44:25

Might he be "his" boys' keyworker?

mumanator Sat 18-Jun-11 11:48:04

eeeewwww report him! quietly but firmly

urbanite Sat 18-Jun-11 11:49:36

no not the keyworker, he is not one of the class teachers or TAs, but does activities with them

colditz Sat 18-Jun-11 12:09:40

yeah eeeeeewwwwww, he likes children - eeewwwww must be a Durty Peedo!!!!!


rabbitstew Sat 18-Jun-11 13:10:24

You don't have to be a paedophile to behave inappropriately around children, colditz, and it is never really appropriate to single out children and refer to them as your favourite children - particularly if you are responsible for the whole class at the time. However, since it now turns out that this person is not in fact the teacher but just someone who comes in to do activities with the children (who may have had no training whatsoever and just be a volunteer - the status of this person is becoming more and more opaque as this thread goes on...), I can see how silly comments like that could easily have been made.

Maybe he only ever gets allocated to a certain group of children and is ham-fistedly trying to create a rapport? I can see how within a group of children you have been allocated, you could very easily let slip comments about your "gang" etc, and possibly even your "favourites" (so long as the whole group you are with are in this category) without it crossing your mind at all at the time that you were overstepping the mark.

mrz Sat 18-Jun-11 13:14:32

Who is he if he isn't a TA or teacher?

Emsoboe Sat 18-Jun-11 13:50:53

Speak to someone in charge. Yes, it may all be innocent, but he does at least need someone having a quiet word regarding appropriate behaviour and monitoring his behaviour inside the setting.

In a recent case, too many people, parents and staff, just passed it off as innocent behaviour and decided to monitor it themselves. If it had just been passed up the line quietly and appropriately often enough then some very serious abuse would have been avoided.

So, yes, don't kick up a big fuss, but do ensure you have spoken to someone in authority in the nursery setting regarding your concerns.

urbanite Sat 18-Jun-11 14:37:31

Sorry, I didn't mean to drip feed; he isn't a volunteer, he is one of the staff, who works across the whole EYFS, but I think not teacher-trained, more likely some early years type qualification if that's possible. The kids have had a rough year with lots of staff changes so I am fairly sure he is just trying to bond helpfully, though picking on a little clique is clearly wrong. I find him personally insincere and creepy which is why I especially want to be fair! Thanks.

mrz Sat 18-Jun-11 14:52:09

I can't think what his role is if he isn't a teacher or a TA

colditz Sat 18-Jun-11 15:46:59

In reception he is probably a Nursery Nurse, as reception kids still come under the EYFS

BeerTricksPotter Sat 18-Jun-11 15:59:43

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

mrz Sat 18-Jun-11 16:00:09

Usually in reception the title is TA rather than NN IMHE

Emsoboe Sat 18-Jun-11 16:52:20

Totally agree with BeerTricks.

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