yr3 and yr1 boys... and bad language..(15 Posts)
I do sympathise dilemma247. Try not to react.
In similar position as of yesterday when ds 6yr said an older boy had taught him a word that sounds a bit like cont! I told him that it wasn't good to use that word but the very worst one, and one he must NEVER, NEVER use, is antimacassar. Ages ago we heard of some parents who used this as a totally forbidden word, and were treated to hearing their children whispering it mischievously to their friends . Apparently it spread like wildfire .
I sympathise also. Ds is yr 3 and the language he brings home from school is fairly tame I guess - he uses gay and refers to his genitals as his nuts now . I can live with those when I compare it to the JOKE he repeated one evening after swimming - told to him by a 12 yo. He was told in no uncertain terms not to repeat it at school, which he didn't as basically he didn't understand it really as it probably wasn't anatomically possible anyway .
Rofl @ antimacassar
It is grim op when they start with that sort of stuff so early Am v lucky with my ds (yr 2) that he'll mention words he's heard to me rather than use them, and then I can say that they're not appropriate. I know it won't be ever thus. And he knows the f word is bad because he's heard it from me I explained that it was not nice, and he was not to use it.
Same problem here. Our DSs are now in Yr 4 and Yr 6 but older boys taught them swear words when they were in Yr 1 and Yr 3.
Its one of those things. We are quite strict on not allowing swearing at home and they now generally don't but no doubt they do when out of earshot of us and teachers. DW and me don't swear at all in front of them so we try and set a good example. They know what is acceptable and what is not.
He's keen on lists and wrote a longish list of 'rude' words: fanny, wee, cont etc. Wasn't sure whether to ignore it or not, but the Lynn Truss in me told him you spell the 'b' one with a double 'g'. I'm really starting to worry I'm allergic to poor spelling more than I am to swear words.
Anal (is that correct?)
As our boys approach teenage years we have started subtley introducing the idea that rudeness, swearing, uncouth behaviour, failure to bathe will ruin their chances of getting a girlfriend. By the time they get to proper girlfriend age we hope the message will have sunk in and they will be model citizens.
I don't think it has to be a case of genie out of the bottle: I just think you have to keep maintaining quietly but firmly that you do not wish to hear this language and that it is not to be used at home. We had a swear kitty.
In the long run, you cannot hope for them to be protected by ignorance, so they have to learn when swearing is not socially acceptable. (I still can't swear in front of my parents, and I have noticed that dd does not swear in front of me- though I would be prepared to bet that she does it in front of her teenage friends).
My DS 8 came home from his lovely posh prep school the other day with a whole long list of increasingly more horrific swear words and was proud of the fact that he could also say them in Russian and Nepalese, so as I know there are no Russians or Nepalese in his year group I am fully aware of the children who it came from and have told him that as a Yr3 boy we do not want to repeat the language of the Yr8 boys who are just trying to get you into trouble, I too however had to correct his spelling when he wrote them down . I also told DH that this is what we are paying for a DS who can swear in many languages !!
wheresthepimms - that will stand him in good stead - French friends always tell me that my French is way too polite
Y1 and Y3 is still young for this though - or perhaps I have been sheltered by the divide in DC's school at Y3 - now DS is Y4 maybe I can expect more of it as they mix more with the older DC
Stealth I am with you it is far to young for it, however at my DDs nursery I have heard a few choice words from one 4 year old that certainly won't be getting an invite to a play date at my house as he could teach the 8 year old a few more . I think that is terrible as he obviously hears it enough at home to repeat it, yes we all make the odd slip up (maybe when something heavy drops on you foot and sugar comes out wrong) but to be repeated on a daily basis by this child it must be the norm in his house
DS has had a good talking too and threat of psp disappearing if we ever hear him say any of the words again, got him to name as many as possible so we knew where we were at and told him that only vulgar uneducated people use them and it is not big and clever but shows you up as not a nice person and no one will want to play with him. So hopefully I have nipped it in the bud, just need to remember all the foreign variants so that he doesn't slip any past me in the future Also told him he could try saying "oh sugar puffs" or "monkeynuts" instead
Agree with Cory, you can't stop them hearing words, its all about teaching them that repeating them in front of others is not acceptable.
dd (Y2) said she'd been told that raising her middle finger meant 'the F word' and is begging me to explain what the 'F word' is. I managed to divert her, but I know its going to come up again soon - am torn between telling her, with strict instructions not to use it, and refusing. Suspect I'll tell her and give sensible instructions - she's a 'need to know' child and does best when given information!
Yep. With little ones, it feels much the same as not giving too much attention to 'poo poo wee wee' talk. With the additional need to impart the information that they will get into trouble if they use rude words at school/in public etc.
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