Inappropriate sexual talk - year 5 boys

[sandyballs]

My DD and her friends came home one day this week saying that a couple of boys in their year kept following them and saying 'Bet you give good head' and then going on to explain in detail exactly what they meant when they looked puzzled.

The teachers have spoken to the boys and they have written the girls letters of apology. However, the boys parents haven't been told about this by school, they will only know if their boys chose to tell them which I think is highly unlikely.

I know school is in a difficult situation as this has obviously come from home, not school. They all have older siblings and probably pick up on stuff earlier than those kids without. My DD knows about sex but I didn't think I'd have to go into detail about oral sex at this age. I'm also slightly concerned that these boys might try and pressure them into trying this stuff, who knows! Or am I getting carried away here. Give me some perspective please, normal playground stuff that they need to learn to deal with or is it completely out of order.

[sandyballs]

Meant to add that DD and her friends seem completely unphased by it, just thought it was gross! It's DH who is more upset!

[ScarlettIsWalking]

[sandyballs]

Exactly! Also, if you were the parent of one of these boys wouldn't you want to know so as you could speak to them about appropriate behaviour/boundaries with girls.

[bellavita]

I am surprised school are not informing the parents - they would at DS2's primary... I know because I have been in receipt of such a letter.

[wannaBe]

how do you know the parents have not been informed?

tbh, I think that when there are older siblings a lot of this stuff is often not as uncommon as we would like to think it is. I certainly didn't know about "giving head" at that age but I'm sure I knew of acts and words etc that my parents never knew I knew, iyswim.

[crazygracieuk]

My pfb son is in Y5 and has learned about oral sex and other sexual slang /swearing from the playground. If the school told me that he had used such language at school I would be furious as he has learned the language at school not at home and there is nothing that I can do other than tell him not to say it to people. I'm very suprised that the boys mums are not being informed.

I do not think that there will be pressure to try oral sex in Y5 but there is a lot of "tough talk".

[Amaretti]

It's normal playground rubbish, you don't need to worry. The parents of the boys need to know though.

[sandyballs]

The school said they wouldn't inform the parents unless it happened again, they seem confident that the talk the teacher and Head have had with the boys and the letter writing will be enough. I would still want to know though if I was them. In fact, I'd be furious to find out his happened without me being informed

[Amaretti]

As the parent of a yr5 boy, so would I.

[LIZS]

While I think it is more talk than any threat of reenactment if it were my dd I'd expect her school to deal with the boys and inform parents straight away. There is a huge variation in exposure and maturity at this age and personally I feel children should have the right to remain innocent until they ask, especially at school.

[mungogerry]

I also feel, very strongly, that the parents of all the children who were involved should be made aware. I would want to know if it were my child behaving in this manner, and I would be very disappointed with the school if they did not talk to me about the incident.