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What do you do when you just can't find the answer?

(6 Posts)
rebl Thu 09-Jun-11 21:22:59

Our dtwins (dd and ds) started school in Sept at the local tiny primary school. DS has SEN and the school did nothing to help and did everything to hinder him. We eventually moved him at Feb half-term to a larger school in the neighbouring village. We left dd at the local school because she had friends and we thought that it was the right place for her.

But sadly she's now not happy and its not because she's not with ds, its because the parents of the few girls in her class are non-inclusive and for want of a better word disablist (is that even a word?). She's not invited to parties and only 2 came to her party. We also have issues with the academic side (if that is at all possible in reception). She is reading chapter books at home but only level 4 at school. We've spoken with the teacher about that and we just get told that this is the way you learn to read, you must read all the books on the level to ensure no gaps.

We want to move her, we really have reached the end of the road we feel. But we just can't work out what to do. We are in a very rural area. These are our options in no particular order:

School K: This is in the same village as ds's school. Its tiny, really tiny, and the numbers are falling. This school shares the same head and governing body as the school dd is currently in so we could just continue with problems. There is before and after school provision.

School D: This is an excellent school. Again small (3 classes). Its oversubscribed. Its 5.1miles from ds's school and 3.75. There is before and after school provision.

School C: Another small school (3 classes), not been and visited yet. Its 2.59miles from ds's school and 1.61 miles from home. There is no before and after school provision

Ds's school is not the right option for dd or ds for a lot reasons.

Ds's school is 2.39 miles from home.

As you can see our problem is just logistics. I physically can't be at 2 school gates. We can't afford 5 days a week before and after school care for one child.

I've tried to find a 2 form entry school in the area and I can't within 10 miles. We would have to travel about 4 miles in the opposite direction from ds's school (so over 6 miles away from ds's school) just to find the next nearest 1 form entry school.

There is just one option I've not investigated yet is whether ds would qualify for school transport through the council. But I wonder if he would be because the LEA did give him a place in our local school. It was our choice to move him because they couldn't meet his needs (not that they'd ever admit that).

I'm turning to all of you because I hope that maybe someone can see an answer to our problem that we just can't see. We are being torn apart by this. Our dd is unhappy and being failed by the school and we feel that the only reason we're leaving her there is because of logistics which is awful.

rebl Thu 09-Jun-11 21:23:25

Sorry, that is very long.

rebl Fri 10-Jun-11 08:32:30


IndigoBell Fri 10-Jun-11 09:04:35

I know you've said before you don't want DD in the same school as DS - but now that DS is doing so much better, and you know that school, do you think maybe DD would be OK there?

That is far and away going to be your easiest solution. And the kids are in reception - so you have 6 years of logistics nightmares if you don't choose that option.

I know that DD and DS didn't used to get along that well. But now that DS is managed better do you think that might change???????????????

Otherwise. Presumably you can't get a place at School D - so it is not really an option.

I wouldn't choose School K if it has the same head - because the provision at your current school has been absolutely dreadful to the point of being life threatening dangerous - you have to hold the HT responsible for that.

So that leaves you with School C and a logistics nightmare......

Or HEing? Maybe while you try to get into School D?

But I would really talk to DSs school and see what they think about sending DD there.......

rebl Fri 10-Jun-11 17:04:03

I'll got and speak to the head at ds's school next week. So many people involved in ds and the councellor who is talking with dd agree that having them apart is certainly the right thing. I would hate for us to move her to ds's school and them both to be so unhappy again. That would be terrible.

We would consider HEing her for a bit but not long term. I need to be able to work long term.

I'm glad that someone else thinks that School K isn't really an option because of it having the same head. We were also thinking that but we're 100% sure of our opinion.

This is such a nightmare.

IndigoBell Fri 10-Jun-11 17:06:22

Aply for a place at School D and HE her until a place becomes available....

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