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Play dates-am I the only one who doesn't really like them?

(13 Posts)
Hormoneoverload Thu 09-Jun-11 16:44:27

In the middle of a play date with dd, 5 and friend. It's such a mixed blessing. A couple of her friends are just a delight to have and they just disappear and play. Then there is this one where I often end up with the girl hanging round my ankles while dd tries hard to find something to entertain her with. I do provide stuff to do, but I would actually rather just be icing cupcakes with my two tbh. And yet they seem to want to repeat it!

MoreBeta Thu 09-Jun-11 16:47:02

Nope. Hate them. Never done them.

We prefer to invite parents with children for lunch/dinner who are true friends - not just do free childcare under duress for some random stranger at the school gate.

Pinkx3 Thu 09-Jun-11 16:49:52

I don't love them either!! I love my kids (obviously) but not always so fond of other people's and would much rather spend time doing stuff as a family. On the other hand I do think it's important for kids to have their friends to play so I just grin and bear it occasionally.

madwomanintheattic Thu 09-Jun-11 16:54:17

We've never been particularly play-datey tbh. My kids get over-excited and giddy when their friends are round and show off. It's pretty grim. I'm hopeful that they don't do the same at other people's houses, but there's no knowing, really. And having three, there's always an odd one or two that just wants to disrupt what the other one is doing with the friend.


The children who come round are usually on their best behaviour and are fine, but playdates turn mine into animals as soon as the doorbell rings. Yeuch.

I'm sure if we had playdates every day, the novelty would wear off and they might settle down. But I can't be arsed to test the theory tbh.

Oh, unless they are playing on the bloody wii. Apparently then they can all settle down and behave. Anything that requires actual imagination with friends - nada. And yet they can play with each other for hours. <sigh>

Elibean Thu 09-Jun-11 17:03:48

Hate them with young kids (up to about 6) because they are, often, high maintenance: mess triple that my two make, disputes to sort when they get tired, etc etc.

But dd1 is now 7.5 and most of her friends are like extended family, tbh - they know our rules, we know them well enough to get cross with them when they break them, dd is of an age where her friends are starting to matter more and more. Which is probably as it should be.

dd2 is 4: I grit my teeth and do playdates every week or so, because she loves them.

lovecheese Thu 09-Jun-11 17:31:59

Certain children are fine to have round, they go off and do their thing, are polite at tea-time and parent's don't take the piss re: coming to pick them up on time; two friends of the 7 year-old are hard work, one because she is away with the fairies and the other because she is a precocious, selfish, boastful, evil little witch. But you can't choose their friends for them...

Hormoneoverload Thu 09-Jun-11 17:57:53

All passed with little event today, thankfully! Was a bit dismissive of the tales told by dd's friend and sent her back to sort it out. Called her bluff by saying that it sounded awful and perhaps I'd better take her home if dd wasn't playing nicely! Said same to dd. Hey presto-two girls playing beautifully! Tea eaten, friend home-phew.

Hormoneoverload Thu 09-Jun-11 17:59:19

Thanks for the heads up that it gets better with age!

emy72 Thu 09-Jun-11 18:35:32

We've only done them under duresse, because my children have been invited and I feel like I have to invite the child back. TBH even in Y1 I find it hard, the children are tired and in my case will get disturbed in their play by their other three siblings and then I have that to contend with.

simpson Thu 09-Jun-11 18:43:00

I have done a playdate today too and I feel totally knackered blush

My DS and his friend are both in yr1 and they do need constant supervision <<sigh>> and DS's friend can be quite physical with him...

Am glad its over!!!

Choufleur Thu 09-Jun-11 18:46:32

I love them when DS goes on them wink.

Some of DS's friends are a pleasure to have and mean I can sit down, drink and eat biscuits while DS plays. Others are bloody tiring, like the child who is scared of dogs. We have a dog and I understand that some children don't like them so put the dog outside/out of the way but I really can do nothing to stop the dog looking in through the back door or patio window, and no the dog cannot open the door and get you!

twinmummy24 Thu 09-Jun-11 19:11:58

ah the bonus of having twins! no need for playdates they entertain each other fantastically. although i am a little concerned that the girls have made friends with two other sets of twins in their reception class so i could end up having 6 to contend with grin

southofthethames Thu 09-Jun-11 20:48:19

It's easier when you can choose the friends because you know their parents and they and their family are nice to get on with. It's hard when your children ask to invite kids from class who are to all intents and purposes random strangers to you! Anyone do playdates outside the home - eg the park when it's not raining? Kids seem to be easier to entertain out of doors. (But you'll need enough adults to supervise.) My DC still at the stage of playdates with only our friends' kids so I'm probably not as familiar with your problem but I agree I would find it a challenge. I suppose one could just see it as a (hopefully infrequent) chore that one does for the child's benefit.

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