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Any suggestions gratefully received.

(5 Posts)
Lizcat Tue 07-Jun-11 14:14:58

Through out this year my DD has been the subject of unwelcome attention pinching etc from another child at school. I have been into school and discussed it with the main class teacher (also head of department) on several occasions. She has made me feel like a lot of the problem was DD's, some examples of her comments have been 'X is a glass half empty girl who clearly lives in a very adult world'.
On the last meeting on the second to last day of last term she assured me that there were no further problems, I then walked round to the classroom to collect DD from the other teacher who asked to wait and then explained that DD had a large mark on her arm from being pinched by the other child and she was in no doubt that it had been deliberate.
I do have other evidence that DD has been sidelined in class, which the school have admitted to.
So I have parents meeting tonight and I have to admit I am at a loss as to how to discuss how I feel with the teacher. Prior to this year my DD has been popular with the teachers, being described as a hard working friendly girl who was a pleasure to have in their class. I know she can't get on with every teacher, but I feel that this year she has not hit it off with the teacher and consequently has been a little ignored and dismissed when she has genuine problems with other children.
I really want to ask what should she or I have done differently?

efeslight Tue 07-Jun-11 14:36:51

sounds like 2 problems here, thought i appreciate one affects the other. You should certainly talk to the teacher again about the other child pinching her, and stress that you had expected this to be sorted out by now.
Ask the teacher what she has done about it- has she spoken to the child's parents? what is the punishment/sanction for this repeated behaviour? Would you rather i spoke to the headteacher about this? (perhaps not in a negative way, but sometimes teachers aren't supported by their management when it comes to this kind of issue)
Leaving marks on the skin is unacceptable, and it sounds like its bordering on bullying. how old are they?
how have the school admitted your daughter has been sidelined? is she happy in class generally? making progress? does your daughter herself feel upset about things? if so, then it does need to be discussed, it sounds like you think the teacher doesn't like your daughter.
perhaps stress to the teacher your child is feeling anxious about things, (if she is) and ask what she can do to change things for the better.

Lizcat Tue 07-Jun-11 14:52:33

Thank efeslight yes there are two problems, but school themselves have intertwinned them by imply that DDs 'glass half empty attitude is to blame' (this is a child who woke me at 5.30am the other day to ask if we could make a chocolate cake - much more glass half full I feel).
They are year 2, the pinching is an ongoing problem since reception my DD is just the latest in a long line of victims.
The sidelinning occurred over reading the school's policy is every child is heard every day and should be heard by a teacher twice a week. I noticed from the reading record that DD had not been heard by a teacher for three weeks, I raised this issue and it was rectified and the school admitted that she had been overlooked. However, it has since come to light that the children of parents who make a big fuss are heard by the teacher every single day. My DD is happy in class, but her progress is much slower than the previous two years and I know this could be plateauing.
Finally yes I do feel that the main teacher does not like my daughter. My DD likes to be a helpful and responsible - the particular teacher seems to dislike these personality traits.
Really I feel like I have let DD down and allowed her to be blamed for letting another child hurt her. Other parents have told their children to hurt back if they are hurt and I just feel this is wrong.

swash Tue 07-Jun-11 14:59:10

Wow - I am amazed OP. Teacher sounds horrid to me. I would say at parents evening what you discovered straight after previous meeting (pinching again) and you need a meeting with teacher and head to discuss what is going to be done.

Write a note to the head requesting a meeting, outlining the problem, how long it has been going on, and the fact that it happened again on the same day teacher had said it was sorted. I would quote the teacher's remark and say that your DD seems to be being blamed for another child's assaults on her. For the meeting, I would download the bullying/behaviour policy, highlight any bits that are relevant and ask the teacher to explain how her handling of the case fits with the bullying policy.

The reading thing sounds very weird. Does your child read well though? My DD often goes a couple of weeks without anyone writing in her reading book. I am not bothered because her reading is great - not sure she needs hearing anymore and she gets plenty of other attention.

I would ask the teacher straight out to tell you about your child's progress and achievements in her class - and see whether she can come up with anything.

efeslight Tue 07-Jun-11 15:13:29

so there are problems with the whole school, not just the one teacher...
i think you might need to speak with the head, to voice a number of your concerns.
could you suggest they need to change the reading policy then if it is unmanagable - to reflect what actually happens in the classroom, and to make it fairer for all. reading twice a week, at least once with the teacher should be enough in Y2.
is she being read with regularly now?
i completely agree with you, i don't think people who shout the loudest should be rewarded, but its obviously how things work there. its up to you if you want to challenge the head about it...
perhaps ask the teacher for a separate appt to discuss the pinching, it would be a shame to spend all of a parents evening appt discussing this one issue. you need to make a fuss about it, so should give it the proper time it deserves.
please don't feel you have let your daughter down, you have identified a problem and are trying to solve it now.

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