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Yr r party

(15 Posts)
mummynumnum Fri 03-Jun-11 10:08:46

Booked an indoor play party venue for 10 for dd 5th bday. Now worrying about how to go about inviting people from her class. To invite all girls would be 16 an extra 60 pound. Don't want to offend, but not sure what etiquette is on parties once they start school. Help and advice needed!

munstersmum Fri 03-Jun-11 10:16:27

As she has been in school a while I would ask her who she would like, making it clear can't have everyone. Also consider whose she has been invited to?

mummynumnum Fri 03-Jun-11 10:23:11

She has a core group of friends, plus 2 who invited her to their party. Would school be happy to give invites out? Do most mums do the same when inviting. Don't want to be that despised mum who did not I bite everyone!!!

sickaboutdad Fri 03-Jun-11 10:27:48

I wouldn't worry about it, so only 10 of the 16 girls can come (that is if she only wants girls, you may find she would like some of the boys), you are unable to invite 6, that is very different from leaving out 1 or 2 or inviting all the class except 1 or 3.
Ask your dd who she would like to come to her party, if the list comes over the 10 ask her to say who she feels she just has to have and work it down from there. In this case you really don't have to worry about people feeling like they have been singled out to be not invited I would however if possible find a way of giving out invites discretely so you are not rubbing it in the face of the not invited, not purposely of course but if you stood at the door as they came out and skipped some of the children and gave to others it can be hard for them to understand.

sickaboutdad Fri 03-Jun-11 10:36:25

Some schools are willing to put invites in book bags but far more aren't from what I have read here. If you have a class list you could post them, dd got a couple of invites in the post and she loved getting her own post or you could hand them out to the parents of the children as you are waiting for them to come out (we did this for dd's party that she had yesterday as we were inviting all the girls and just a few of the boys, we had to leave out 5 people in the class as it was a joint party with my friends dd who is a year younger and in YR, if we had invited all of both classes we would have had 45 children and that's is without the other children who aren't at school yet they both play with in the village, we ended up inviting 38 kids and praying for turn downs, we ended up with just under 30) or you could give the invites to your dd as she comes out of school and she can run around giving them to her friends but this will depend on how your school lets the children out, for some it would be a terrible way to give them out! The giving out of invites is a terror of a thing.
I would also recommend giving the invites out as soon as possible and having a 'reserve' list so you can fill any places made by any declines.

mummynumnum Fri 03-Jun-11 11:14:51

Yes good idea about the reserve list. Dd has had some home in her book bag so am assuming that school are ok to do this.

munstersmum Fri 03-Jun-11 17:43:07

Despised would not be the word if you 'bite' 5 yr olds - great image of you in playground running around giving out bites though gringrin

LIZS Fri 03-Jun-11 17:53:28

Each school has its own protocol about givng out invitations. tbh with so few out of a group it would be better to do it yourself or by post to avoid fall outs and misunderstanding. ime most Reception parties included everyone - girls and boys - so be prepared for the icy stares.

mummynumnum Fri 03-Jun-11 19:25:29

Oh god, I don't know if I can handle icy stares. Actually my mil takes her anyhow, so she will get them!!!!

FionaJT Fri 03-Jun-11 19:58:22

My dd is yr one, I haven't yet done a full class party and most don't round here, so no problems between parents and the kids just get used to it.Our school gives them out in bookbags with letters, or children just hand them round before school.. I asked my dd several times over a couple of weeks who she wanted to invite and made a note of the names that reappeared most often!

Neutral1 Sat 04-Jun-11 12:24:00

By us the whole class is invited (15 children) + sometimes siblings if they are in same class as other children but most do parties where it isn't a head count eg entertainer at home or in village hall. This has been for YR and Yr1

Elibean Sat 04-Jun-11 13:33:25

It totally depends on the school, the class size, etc - I wouldn't leave out 3-4 girls from a class, but if its just over half the girls I think its fine.

dd1 is a December baby, friendships weren't formed yet at her new school in Reception, so I did do a whole class party that time - which she didn't enjoy much (she likes small groups) sad But ever since, we've invited either half the girls, or more recently (smaller class) all the girls.

School is happy to put invites in bookbags, but half of them don't get read when that happens - I would hand them to the parents yourself, or get your MIL to, discreetly.

Clary Sat 04-Jun-11 16:28:16

Whole class is such nonsense frankly.

Most state school kids are in a class of 30. For a soft play party (typical in FS2 I found) that would cost you about £300, oh yes.

I think people who post that must have their kids at small class (private?) schools?

For my DD her year is 60 kids and she wanted to invite some from the other class too, so even with a hall and games etc "whole class" was out of the question. I actually made her invite all the girls from her class (she wanted to leave out 2) but wish I had listened to her! Have done so since smile

sunnyday123 Sat 04-Jun-11 19:34:55

my dd is in reception and was a nov birthday - we invited all the girls (17). Tbh i'm glad i did as every childs party she has been to since has done the same. Only 14 accepted anyway as i think some parents dont want to get in to the whole class party thing which is fine.

If i was only choosing 10 out of a possible 16 i think i'd worry about what other parents thought and how you'd cope having to take your child to a party of someone you hadn't invited - its pretty embarrassing smile (happened to us when a child from the other reception class invited DD!)

Of course parents would understand but kids talk about their parties all the time in class and people to often feel upset if their child is left out. I think i would be inclined to invite only half the class (max 8) and fill other spaces with other friends and family so its less obvious - its a long time in the school to get the stares!

Also in terms of cost it can work out okay as i often 'hold back' some of the presents to give to other kids at their parties blush (if DD doesn't notice and i know she doesnt need something!)

mummynumnum Sun 05-Jun-11 20:23:26

I managed to hand deliver some so only a few to give out at school. Triplets on hol so may look like I can invite all now!

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