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Starting school "concerns"-what to do?

(11 Posts)
ballbreaker Wed 01-Jun-11 19:09:06

My dd is starting Primary One (Scotland) in August along with 16 other kids from her nursery.

We attended the school for an orientation visit last week where the Principal Teacher asked each parent who their child was friendly with in order to buddy them, (unfortunatley my dd's two best friends will be attending schools outwith the area) I advised that as long as she was in a class with at least one other girl from her nursery then she should settle ok.
However we reattended today to be told that my dd will be the only girl in her class and the other 7 girls from her nursery will be in the other primary one class. There are 3 boys from her nursery in her class which she is not particularly friendly with.

Anyway phoned the school to voice my concerns and was told that there were no guarantees which class they were allocated to and with whom. Whilst I fully appreciate this and the difficulties that class allocation may pose I also think what the hell was the point in asking in the first place.

I know that the class allocation is now set in stone and can't be changed and wouldn't expect it to be as it would be extremely unfair on other children at this stage to change however would it be worth sending a letter to the school to voice my disappointment or would I be better to let it lie. i obviously don't want to disadvantage my dd by giving the impression that i'm a stroppy cow.

LIZS Wed 01-Jun-11 19:13:18

tbh I think you're worrying unnecessarily. As long as your dd isn't disappointed then you shouldn't be. You didn't specify any particular child and now have the summer to forge different friendships if needs be. Agree it was a futile exercise though.

MadamDeathstare Wed 01-Jun-11 19:13:55

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

sarahfreck Wed 01-Jun-11 19:22:56

"The only girl in the class"

All the rest of the class are boys? or The only children from her nursery in her class are boys?

If the former - that's strange and I'd be concerned and would want other girls in class. If the latter, don't worry. Most dcs make friends really easily and you are anticipating problems that may never happen. IMO, the attitude/personality of the class teacher and assistants is far more influential in helping a child to settle than Knowing the other children at this age. I'd not write to the school or make a fuss.
In general I'd try not to build up anxieties about your dd starting school as you may unwittingly pass them onto your dd - although I know that can be easier said than done!

crazycarol Wed 01-Jun-11 20:23:32

When my dd started primary school she didn't know anyone as she attended a private nursery. She was fine after the first few days, they were a nightmare as she is very shy and wanted me to go into the classroom with her! She soon got over it though and never looked back. I am sure your dd will be fine and soon making new friends.

mungogerry Wed 01-Jun-11 20:54:28

I agree with Sarah, is she the ONLY girl? I would be concerned by that. If there are other girls but she does not know them then I wouldn't worry as she will most probably settle and make friends very easily.

MadamDeathstare Wed 01-Jun-11 21:03:11

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ballbreaker Wed 01-Jun-11 22:46:40

Thank you all for your replies. Sorry she won't be the only girl in her class but the only girl from her nursery-the other eleven girls are from the same nursery which is different to my dd.

I'm sure she'll be fine-I'm probably just worrying unnecessarily. Just wanted her school transition to be as unsettling as possible.

Still a bit peeved with the school though as I feel I was misinformed.

Think i'll let it lie as everyones advice seems to advocate.

Thank you-you probably saved me from making a total arse of myself.

piprabbit Wed 01-Jun-11 22:52:38

TBH I found that my DDs friendships shifted hugely over the first weeks/months of term. Friendships from nursery were soon forgotten and didn't seem to be very important. In fact she struggled to remember who she had actually been to nursery with.

I think it was nice for her to know that other children from nursery were starting school at the same time as her - but once she actually started school it didn't seem to influence her friendships at all.

blackeyedsusan Wed 01-Jun-11 23:59:31

dd didn't know anyone in her new class last September. she seems to be doing ok. the teacher will most likely make sure she is paired up with someone.

I can understand your disappointment really. what was the point asking?

Rosebud05 Fri 03-Jun-11 15:57:07

Although I'd hide it from my daughter, I would actually be very pissed off with this.

Partly because what was the point in asking and partly because schools know that kids have by and large split themselves along gender lines by the time they start school and if there are 8 girls from one nursery, it wouldn't seem like rocket science to put at least 2 together.

I don't know if I'd do anything, tbh, as I wouldn't want to get on off a conflictual start with the school and, as you say, they're set in stone now.

She will be fine but I can completely see where you're coming from on this one.

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