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I want to send her to a different school. have you ever done it & regreted it?

(99 Posts)
Bohica Tue 17-May-11 10:56:47

DD is in year 2 & since reception she has had on & off problems. I can feel a change in her personality, she looks dispondent & withdrawn & then becomes hyper & imature.
She struggles to form relationships & although I have spoken to the schoool hundreads of times nothing changes & if anything I feel like DD has been labelled "difficult" & left to get on with it.
She no longer receives rewards, stamps, certificates, she used to get them all the time but her enthusiasm to do her work is falling & no-one seems to be picking up on it.

I have the opportunity to move her to a new school in September & just need some reasurance that I am doing the right thing in giving her a fresh chance & not just running away from the issues with the school?

Have you moved your child & if so did it all work out?

BeerTricksPotter Tue 17-May-11 11:19:40

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Toughasoldboots Tue 17-May-11 11:27:47

I moved my dd last term, the change in her is incredible. Her previous school made us feel as if it was all our fault. She is a different and far happier child.
I would go for it.

Bohica Tue 17-May-11 11:35:22

Yes Tough that is exactly how we are being made to feel. The last time I spoke to them we were offered a support worker to work 1 to 1 with DD & all she ever reported was that DD was a happy go lucky little thing who appeared to be confident & settled so nothing else happened.

At parents evening the teacher told me DD is struggling to make friends & the one friend she does have she is very dominating & protective of "it's like watching a controlling boyfriend with his girlfriend" apparently.

Toughasoldboots Tue 17-May-11 11:42:23

Move her then- have you looked at the new school and do you feel happy with it? I knew by year 2 that things weren't going to get better and moved dd halfway through year 3. The whole family is happier without the stress of social problems at school.

Sometimes it is a particular mix of children that act in a pack- if the school doesn't deal with it, it ends up with bullying and isolation for the children left out.

Sounds as if your dd needs a fresh start in a more understanding school.

IndigoBell Tue 17-May-11 11:42:56

I moved my 3 kids from one local school to the other and am very pleased.

The pastoral care at the new school is far better (it's SATs are worse) and I am far far happier with it. So are they smile

Toughasoldboots Tue 17-May-11 11:57:50

That's a good point Indigo- my dd's previous school was outstanding rated by ofsted and incredible sats results too. I wouldn't take a blind bit of notice next time.

Bohica Tue 17-May-11 12:06:20

We are going to view the new school on Thursday without DD at first. I haven't told her about the move, she thinks we are looking at the pre-school for DD3 & keeps asking if she can go to the new school as well.

When time came to inform the current school of the move were you honest about why you were moving?

IntotheNittyGritty Tue 17-May-11 12:06:49

If yr child isn't happy I wld chnge schools. School shld be fun. If there are underlying problems it mite help with some fresh eyes observing. My kids hv been to lots of schools and we hv HD no issues. Make sure new school offers good pastoral care

walesblackbird Tue 17-May-11 12:06:56

I'm doing it for my daughter and really wish I'd done it for my boys when they were younger. It's too late now to move them.

My daughter has some speech and language problems and I know from experience that the school she's currently in is rubbish with children with any additional needs.

It's a very middle class, high performing school and all they want are children who will perform and who have no difficulties.

My DS2 (ADHD and attachment disorder) has had a terrible time there and they've singularly failed to support him or to even try to understand what's behind his behaviour.

The school I'm sending my daughter to has an excellent reputation for working with children with special needs, it's Ofsted report was great and, most importantly, they are used to educating children who come from a diverse range of homes!

The current school has packed my son off to a PRU so they don't have to have him there - I do so wish I had moved him when I had the chance to.

I'm nervous about moving my daughter because she's happy in her current school but I know she's falling behind and I know they will fail her. So she will be moving.

ZZZenAgain Tue 17-May-11 12:10:07

I have moved dd out ofa school I wasn't happy with and never regretted it for an instance

ZZZenAgain Tue 17-May-11 12:10:18


aliceliddell Tue 17-May-11 12:17:23

Move her to a school with good pastoral care and emotional education. League tables are irrelevant imo, your child will thrive if she feels secure. We moved dd to a fab school, she loved it after being a school refuser at the previous two. (The second was juniors with automatic transfer from first infants) Don't worry about proportion of SEN, SATS results etc, the only thing that matters is if she likes it.

Bohica Tue 17-May-11 12:51:18

Thank you for all the replys, it's such a big decision & it's reasuring to read so many happy endings.

AuntieMonica Tue 17-May-11 12:59:53

I moved DS1 out of his infant school, half way through yr2 and never looked back. I wish I'd done it sooner.

IMO, if you've got the chance, and then DON'T take it, any further problems will always have the 'what if i had moved' lurking in the background.

Good luck smile

toughdecisions Tue 17-May-11 13:05:51

Moved DS part-way through year2. From day1 he told anybody who asked 'my new school is much nicer than my old one'.

Bohica Tue 17-May-11 13:18:11

Your right Auntie I am at a point where I don't want to send her to school every day. DD is definatly no angel & I am fully aware of her social problems but I need a school that is going to help her along & not push her to one side. She is quite bright & her school work is above average but she is loosing interest in it & I believe that the school enviroment is bringing her down.

I think it was mentioned earlier but DD is in a small school with small class size & the "group" of girls want nothing to do with her, she may have caused this herself but at the end of the day she is just a 6 year old little girl who deserves a second chance.

Lancelottie Tue 17-May-11 13:20:25

Tell you in a month or so -- one of mine moved schools today!

Elk Tue 17-May-11 13:21:37

We moved dd1 at the end of year 2, we now have a 20min drive to school instead of a 10min walk. It was the best thing we have ever done for her, she was quiet and just a bit miserable all the time at her last school, had problems making friends and wasn't really making as much academic progress as I thought she could.
She is a different child now, mostly happy, has lots of friends, she has been chosen for 2 sports teams!!(don't know how that happened). She loves school and as she is much more happy her school work has improved beyond belief. She even wants to do her homework!!!

paddingtonbear1 Tue 17-May-11 13:31:21

We moved dd from her 'outstanding' primary to another local one. Never regretted it for a minute. She really struggled at her old school, where they just labelled her as lazy and left her to flounder, while complaining she was falling behind. Her new school recognised her problems immediately, and she has really improved there.

Bohica Tue 17-May-11 13:32:10

Lance yay to first day at new school, was your child super nervous and you

Elk our move will be a 10 minute drive instead of a 5 minute walk. You DD sounds quite like mine, bit miserable all of the time.

What did you say to the old school about moving? Did you have to see the head? or can I be a chicken & write "DD is leaving & won't be coming back in september" in her home school book?

Bohica Tue 17-May-11 13:36:56

paddington did you explain your reasons for moving your DD to the new school teacher? I'm thinking of saying nothing & just giving DD a nice clean sheet & letting her make her own first impressions?

I will be working fulltime by September, the new school is very close to DD3's new nursery & on the council form I have explained that I need the childrens childcare & education providers to be as close togeather as possible to avoid us being late on arrival and for collecting the children.

AllDirections Tue 17-May-11 13:39:34

I moved DD1 when she was in year 2 after a year of problems. She went to a school with lower SATs results and Ofsted grades and I haven't regretted it for a minute. My only regret is that I didn't do it a year earlier.

When DD1 was in year 7 the same niggles appeared and I moved her to a different secondary school pronto. No regrets there either!!

memphis83 Tue 17-May-11 13:42:41

I was moved to a different school in a totally different catchment when I was a child and its the best thing my mum could have done, I was scared to walk to school and was pulling sickies all the time, my school work was so bad the teachers rang my mum to tell her, I moved school in the September and it was wonderful, My grades improved significantly and I was happier than ever!
And you dont need to speak to the head, you could write a letter to give to the teacher and presuming they have a school email you could email the head with all the points as to why you are moving her, the head will probably be glad that you didnt go to the board of govenors to make complaints about him and how the school didnt act on your concerns (you could still complain to govenors after the school move if you wanted to)

Chrysanthemum5 Tue 17-May-11 13:44:13

We moved DS at the end of primary 1 (when he was 5), he was happy in his old school, had lots of friends etc. but we were not happy with it. We were able to meet some of the children from his new class over the summer break which really helped as he started his new school knowing a few faces.

I would say we were far more nervous and worried about it than DS, and he settled in straight away. If you can, do try to meet up with some children over summer - the school may be willing to contact the parents and ask if anyone who lives near you would be willing to meet.

I was honest with his old school because the reasons for moving were lack of space, over-crowding etc. and I wanted the school to know it wasn't anything to do with the quality of teaching.

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