People waiting for Appeals

[The3Bears]

Is anyone else in the same boat now just waiting for an appeal date.

I am so nervous about it and trying to hope for the best, I cannot stop bursting into tears anytime starting the primary school is mentioned between his preschool friends parents.
I just think the whole system is deeply unfair we have one child and I cannot even send him to the school I have always wanted to send him to, it breaks my heart that his friend who lives futher away has got in because he has a sibling :(

This has been the hardest part of parenting I've come up to so far I just cannot wait for it all to be sorted or at least for someone to help me because so far I have had no help from the council and his health visitor who is doing a letter for us couldnt be less helpful if she tried. What do you do if your new to all this why are you given no infomation about this when applying for school places in the first place ?

Sorry for the rant but im sure many of you are in the same situation and tbh I am fed up of keeping all this anger in and taking it out on my dp who has been trying to help me feel better. :(

[Sarahtellstales]

So sorry to hear - fingers crossed for you x I'm sure you're doing everything you can for your child. x

[bubblecoral]

Hi 3bears, i think I have seen you on another thread about appeals.

I truly feel for you, it's horrible!

And I feel for me right now too because I have my hearing tomorrow. I'm already feeling sick with nerves, sleep is unlikely tonight!

How is your appeal preparation going? I can't remember all your details. It sounds like you are having a hard time with it, but you are not alone.

[The3Bears]

Thank You, im just finding it's all too much now and the stress is really getting to me.

Good luck Bubblecoral hope yours goes well, My preparation is going okay Im not sure what else I can do tbh, I have spoke to his key workers at preschool who have done a letter explaining how shy my ds is and they think it's in his best interests if he stays at the school.
I have spoke to the headteacher of the school for some advice she was lovely and told me a girl got in last year on an appeal and to get in touch with ds's health visitor. I have spoken briefly to his health visitor who was not helpful asked a couple of questions over the phone and then said she would send a letter explaining the situation I just thought they would have helped more.

Its just so hard because I blame myself alot for the fact ds is so shy and will not talk to many people and now with this I just feel I have completley let him down, He has just settled at the pre school and made some friends and I have to take him away from all that and put him right back to square one and through all the distress of going somewhere completley new and away from his friends.

I dont have any friends to talk to about this because all their children got in so what advice can they give to me, dp doesnt know what else to say, my family are just saying wait and see and Im trying to sort it all out at the same time just wanting to cry. :(

[bubblecoral]

for you.

I know what you mean about not having anyone to talk to about it. None of my friends have children the same age as me, and generally don't get it.

Have you heard anything about parent partnership? When I first began the process I was advised to try and contact them. Apparantly every LEA or council has one, and they are supposed to be there to help you with anything like this. I have to say that I got nowhere with mine, I kept calling and they never rang me back so I stopped trying when I began to get my head around it all myself.

Also ACE, advisory centre for education are great. Have you tried them?

It's not your fault your child is shy, he sounds lucky to have a Mum that will go through this kind of stress to do the best for him. You did what you were supposed to do and applied for the school. It's the system with the problem, it's not something you created! And now you are doing everything you possibly can to give him the best school you can.

But, motherhood is all about feeling guilty for things you can't help!

[The3Bears]

I have been on the ACE website and read there advice but have yet to ring them, I'm not sure what they can do but I should really give it ago.

Thank you for being so kind and talking to me i just feel completly left out of it all and soon his preschool ask who you want as there class moving buddy and all ds's friends parents are saying about it to each other and I just feel awful and so cruel on ds.

I know motherhood is so hard sometimes you seem to blame yourself for anything, I just want someone to help me and understand what I mean and what ds has had to go through how can they do this, ds is the only one in his preschool to not get in :(

I just want to get the whole thing over and done with because I am fed up f waiting and feeling so low :(

Really hope your hearing goes well, Good luck :) and i'll keep my fingers crossed for you.

[bubblecoral]

It sounds like you are really upset about the disruption your poor ds is going to go through

It does feel very unfair, and the fact that the people around you with children starting school soon are happy about their allocation just seems to be rubbing salt in the wound. You are there looking at your lovely little boy and wondering how they could do this to him, but do try and remember that it's not personal, and they had no choice but to do it to someone.

I would try ringing ACE if you are serious about going to appeal, it can't hurt, even if it doesn't help. It took me ages to get through to them, it seems like they are permenantly engaged, but when you do get through they give you as much time as you need. They helped me to think of something that wouldn't have occured to me otherwise, and at least you will know you have done everything you can.

It also sounds like you are very much focussing (understandably) on the injustice of it all. And while it is a horrible thing to have to deal with, at some point you will need to move forward and work out what you are going to do. Have you done all the usual reccommended stuff like get on all the waiting lists you can for schools you would feel more confident with? And have you lodged your appeal yet? Are you going to appeal just for the one school? And is there anything we can do to help you with your appeal?

Thanks for the vote of confidence for our hearing today! I was a nervous wreck all morning, but was actually fine when we got in there. I think (and hope) that it went as well as it possibly could, but it is still very 50/50.

[Rowgtfc72]

Were still waiting for our appeal but to be quite honest it was a long shot. We've spent the last few weeks bigging up the new school to dd, telling her about the new uniform and new teacher. Shes looked through the school gates and seen her new playground. Luckily she is very outgoing but at the end of the day will be the same as the rest of the children, a new kid in a strange school. I think if you put the background work in beforehand and make it sound a really positive experience for your ds he will be fine. I took not getting our first choice of school personally and realised I would quite happily trample over other kids to get what I thought was best for dd, first time I've felt like that !

[The3Bears]

I have already sent the appeal in and have sorted letters from his health visitor and key workers, I am just appealing for this school.
I am thinking of putting his name on a couple of other schools but thoses waiting lists are just as big.
I know I am sounding very angry about the rules etc and have took it very personally but its really hard not to and I am focusing on doing everything I can for the appeal.

[onebigyawn]

OP sorry to read you are going through this. It is a stressful time :(

Where is your ds on the waiting list?

[bubblecoral]

I wish you the best luck in the world with your appeal, and I hope you find the advice and support you need here.