Year 2 settling in - HELP!

[ILoveGregoryHouse]

Hi. We've just come back to the UK after three years in the Middle East where my sons attended a british curriculum school. DS1 been there from Reception. Teachers were lovely, kind and the kids were very mixed ethnically.

Got places at a really good state primary for the boys and DS2 has settled well in his class. Problem is DS1 doesn't seem to fit in his class. He's quite loud (volume wise) and fidgety and this has not been knocked out of him at school before as all the kids were like that. There are only 8 boys in his new class and all seem very quiet and the teacher is very strict (a good thing imo). Anyhoo, he's been there nearly 3 weeks and now nobody in his class is playing with him and some of the boys have been quite nasty to him - taking football away at playtime etc. I am very upset as he's a lovely, kind boy who doesn't have a mean bone in his body. I've spoken to the teacher who said she noticed one boy in particular being mean and she's going to have a word but that DS1 is quite loud/over enthusiastic in class and the other children don't like it. So, part of the solution is for DS1 to learn to modify his behaviour - how can we help him, a 7 year old, do that? Thanks for any advice.

[speakercorner]

I am a mother of girls, so my advice is of limited help. But I would give your DS a good runaround before school (in a park or similar) so that he expends some energy before going in. The teacher sounds good, and I would ask her if there is anything you can do at home to support what she does at school. Other than that, I would keep listening and supporting your DS.

[wheresthepimms]

Give him time and it will come, we were in a similar situation this year. My 2 boys have only been educated in the US system, at a school for gifted and talented (not that they are but they were ahead as in the US system they wouldn't have been at school) and all the kids fidgety but as long as they were listening they didn't mind. DS1(8) went to a prep school and struggled in the first half term with the sitting still and being quiet. DS2(7) went to the local state primary and we did move him after 3 weeks (totally due to other issues with the school) the school he is now in are just being strict and patient with him. He has taken a while to settle but is now 2 terms in starting to sit still, listen and concentrate like the other kids in his class. DS2 is also loud and did have a few issues with other kids not liking his behaviour, but we just told him if he is calm and nice the kids will come round to him. Now he is one of the most popular in the class, which upsets us as when he was going through the rough patch he decided to go to his brothers school next September so will now leave soon having just settled. Ask the teacher if she can give him a sticker for every 5 mins he is still and increase the time as he gets better, this worked with ours. Mostly keep talking to his teacher making her aware that it is such a big change for him.

We also limited what he ate in the morning (watching the sugar content) and have packed in lots of after school activities to make him a little less energetic. Would recommend your local beaver group, this really settled my boy and gave him friends other than those he goes to school with.

He will settle, it just might take a while, it is a big adjustment (we underestimated how big with ours). Keep smiling and tell him how great he is and he will not get stressed about it himself :)

[PoppetUK]

My DD started in year 2 (October) in UK system. I'd say it took until just after Xmas to really settle. She's pretty loud but seems to have just shut that side off at school (not a bad thing because she needed to knuckle down and learn rather than cruise because she wasn't engaged at an appropriate level) but we still get it at home!!! I have to make sure both my school aged children get enough activity because it's been an adjustment and they can't stand getting cooped up.

I was a bit concerned that my DD wouldn't talk to the other children or respond somethings but it soon passed. He will work out how modify his behaviour. Hopefully a good teacher can help him.

[ILoveGregoryHouse]

Thanks. I had a good chat with him using his cuddly monkey as a prop - asking him what would happen if monkey behaved loudly in class etc.. He gets it, bless him. But I still have big concerns about the school especially now my DS2 has come back with 0/10 for his spellings. That I didn't know he had. He has regressed significantly it seems. This is the 5 year old child who can explain evolution and earthquakes. I've also commented on his getting one reading book a week at most. Am seeing his teacher tomorrow. He's happy at least but this has made me think maybe my boys aren't cut out for cookie cutter education and we'll have to scrimp and save to go private again. Sorry, am ranting now.

[Oblomov]

Talk to him. About being loud. and how the other children don't like this. and he is such a lovely boy and that he deserves to have lovely freinds which he will if he ...........
Get him to name 1 or 2 boiys thta he likes. ask him what they like. tell him to oofer to play their games. he needs to compromise, do what they want. just fort a bit.
Invite them round after school. the 2 thta he lies. asap, on different days. It helps ALOT. they bond moire, they love being invited 'for tea/round to lay', i htink this is crucial.
HTH
I have a mild AS 7 yr old, and we have to work hard at friendships.

[Oblomov]

sorry for spelling. press posted by mistake, before checking.

[ILoveGregoryHouse]

Yes Oblomov, will do the play date thing I think. Just worried they'll say no. Am now neurotic. Aaaarrgghh.

[Oblomov]

No kid says no, to coming round to play. not as far as I have ever heard. get ds to tell the child. this will makes their eyes light up. then ask mum. kid will be begging to..... or this happens to 99% of people i know !!!!
don't worry !!