Not sure where the best place for this is - I've posted in Special Needs - Education and will maybe post in Chat as well because it is urgent. Sorry it is a bit long.
A friend of mind has just (today) been informed by letter from the council's education dept that her ds (8) has a place at the local Autistic Unit starting in August - not something she had been pushing for.
He is in P4 (=Y3) and she has been asking unsuccessfully for an assessment since he was in P1. She's finally managed to speak to the head mistress of his current school who said that her ds met all the criteria of a child with Asperger's and that he would be better off at the unit and that he didn't need to have a diagnosis to attend.
She has an emergency meeting at the school tomorrow morning with the head and the education psychologist to discuss. She has had dealings with the education psychologist but there has been no formal appraisal or referral to other services/support - in fact I was talking to her yesterday about her frustration about the lack of an appraisal and offered to help her write a letter demanding asking for the appraisal.
She is not sure how she feels: devastated, upset, maybe in denial (direct quote from the email from her) She is trying to write down questions and can't think of any just now - so I thought I'd ask the wisdom of Mumsnet (with her permission).
Her son is challenging - but is also very bright. He is youngest in his year - which had been her dilemma when sending him to school as he was ready educationally but not socially (in Scotland we do have the option of genuinely keeping them back a year, so that a child ends up one of the oldest in the year rather than the youngest).
He is capable of major meltdowns - but also understands discipline. He relates fine with adults. I know her (and her son) through Minis Rugby, where the coaches can cope with him - ensuring that he had clear boundaries and when he transgressed them he had a "time out" (no different to the other kids, although he possibly had more timeouts than most).
He was kept in the P1-P3 group for a couple of extra months (as his coaches had a good relationship with him), but he is now training with the rest of the P4s. His P1-P3 coach says some days he could be fine - really good, helpful, charming, but other days he could be awful - although he only once over the 2 years had to send for his mum. He can understand, however, how a school might find it unacceptable to have a child that needs that much attention (fine on a rugby pitch when you can send them to the side).
He has been excluded from the school 3 times over 4 years - always with the support of his mum. However, she has not been happy to find out that recently he has been the subject of bullying (coming home in "spare" school trousers because he had pushed into the mud) and not been told about it (she only found out when she washed the trousers and noticed that they were girl's trousers).
Should she allow this to go ahead without a formal statement? What sort of questions should she be asking? Having looked at the HMI (Ofsted) report for the Unit and the School Handobook, a lot of the emphasis of the Unit is on "learning core social skills" (and not so much on "mainstream" schooling one of the HMI's criticisms). It also has shorter school hours and different playtimes to those of the mainstream school it is attached to (again, a criticism by HMI - so that may have changed).
How will that impact on her ds' long term education? What should her next steps be?
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Being sent to Autistic Unit without a diagnosis or formal appraisal?
prettybird · 21/02/2011 15:03
taramoonstone welcome to MN 
I'd like to share my DD1's story briefly, as we were not aware that she had SEN of any significance until she started pre-school. Until then, we had noticed things, but they were dismissed. We had no benchmark.
When DD1 started Pre-school at the end of the Summer term, nothing was said, other than that her gait was a bit 'immature'. Well, yes, she had only started walking 7 months earlier, at 23 months. No wonder.
Shortly after the Autumn term resumed, the pre-school supervisor and the SENCO asked me to give permission to get DD1 observed. They thought she needed more attention than they could give, and she was a bit behind.
I won't bore you with the details, but DD1 has SEN. She has a brain malformation which was only diagnosed at 3.5 years old, and is globally affected.
This is why I want to share her story with you:
When DD1 was observed by the area SENCO, she was given 1:1. But that 1:1 could only do her best in the environment they were in, and DD1 didn't progress much. Everyone knew that she was the girl with SEN. Those that didn't, thought they knew that she was the out of control girl who was naughty with no boundaries.
When the LA assessed DD1 for a Statement of SEN (we have to have one of those to get any decent help - it takes 6 months), they suggested Special school.
Now, she could have gone to Mainstream with 1:1, and she would have needed it from the minute she stepped on the school grounds to the minute I collected her.
But, she goes to a special school now. She is celebrated, she is loved, she is given opportunities far beyond those at mainstream, and she is allowed to maximise her skills.
She even takes the register back to the office independently, something which would be impossible in mainstream (she would escape).
Can I suggest a few points to consider, as you look around?
Where will your DS 'fit' best? Will he be loved, celebrated at his current school, or will be 'managed' and 'contained'?
Where will your DS be given the best life skills? Will he be prepared for life in his current school, or the ASD unit?
Will he be safe at his current school?
Which school wants your DS?
I thank God daily that DD1 is at the special school. It was a scary choice to make, but she is seen as the most special, wonderful child, and we rarely hear about her more challenging behaviours, because they are just seen as obstacles to overcome.
Oh well done you, taramoonstone!!! You have been so sensible. Never look a gifthorse in the mouth!
The way I look at it also, is that there are many more standard schools than Specialist schools, and it is MUCH easier to get into a 'normal' school, because the requirement is that you are a school-aged child 
Tara, didn't see this last year, but I'm so pleased things are going well for your DS. ((((hugs)))) for you for your loss. 
I hope this wasn't your very supportive dad.
My DS (12) has ASD, and as you probably already know, it's not the end of the world and a DX doesn't change your boy. The way you were kept informed by the EP certainly wasn't very good, but I hope your DS goes from strength to strength.
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