My DD seems to have emotional meltdowns.

[pongonperdy]

My DD is 5 and in reception. She has always been very sensitive and a bit of a perfectionist. She seems to be having these monumental meltdowns over little things. Her teacher says that often it is something minor that sets her off. She has always been very aware of dong the right thing and does get upset if others are mis behaving.

I just thought that she would have grown out of it by now but it seems to be getting worse.

Any one with similar experiences and tips for how to manage it.

[crazygracieuk]

I think you are unreasonable not to expect meltdowns. She is only 5 and you say that she is very sensitive.

My son was very similar when he was younger. He was so rigidly into the rules that I wondered if he would end up as a barrister policeman. He's now 10 and A LOT more chilled out about things.

She has lots more years of school and will almost certainly see lots of other misbehaved kids to get used to.

[pongonperdy]

Its not that i dont expect it its just that i am worried that it is getting worse and i dont know how to help her. I am also worried that the teacher will end up thinking she is a winge.

I am sure it will lessen naturally with age but i just want to be able to help her.

[IndigoBell]

Besides the meltdowns and being sensitive do you have any other concerns about her?

[rickymummy]

Hi. Sounds very much like my eldest. He is a bit of a perfectionist, really gets upset if he is ever told off (which is rare) and has always been prone to meltdowns if things don't go the way he is expecting.

At the start of Reception, it was almost one a week. It could be triggered by someone getting told off, and he thought it was unjust, or because they had been asked to do something in pairs, and his partner wasn't co-operating.

The school were great - the Reception teacher was very kind and gentle with him, and his confidence just flourished. In Year 1, he only had two meltdowns all year (one on the day of the first Parent's Evening!). This year, in Year 2, we have had one case where he got terribly upset because a teacher hadn't explained the rules of a test properly and he did something wrong. That took me two days to sort out and calm down, but that was also resolved.

I think that, as long as the school are supporting her, she will probably learn how to manage it. The technique both we and the school used was teach him to recognise the signs that he was getting upset, and then to stand still and count to ten very slowly before reacting. It did improve gradually.

[pongonperdy]

No other worries about her. Thanks ricky. I will try the counting to ten idea. At the moment it seems to be happening daily grom what i can gather.

[magdalene]

Very normal at this age and given how exhausting reception is it's no wonder they have 'meltdowns'. It will get better with age - my DD is much more relaxed in year one. It's a question of maturity. Keep talking with the teacher to work on strategies etc. It will get better - promise!

[Foxton]

My DD was a very tantrumy toddler and ever since has tended to have meltdowns every so often. Sometimes more often than others. She's 9 now. Eventually I decided that it was her way of letting off steam/stress and decided not to fight it but just sit it out and wait till it was over. She never does it at school though - only at home which is probably easier for us. I do think you're still in early days, although I know it doesn't feel like it, and I wouldn't worry about it at this stage.I'm sure as Rickymummy says it's just a matter of helping her to manage it.

[MigratingCoconuts]

I agree with Magdalene and Foxton. My DD is still having meltdowns in the evenings sometimes. It shocked me last year but I could see it was linked to being deeply exhausted. School is a tiring place!