Moving Ds to another school - quite emotional about it(7 Posts)
DS is 10 and a bit of a live wire. He's very easily led and can be quite disruptive. He makes friends with all the wrong people and the group of friends he has are well known for being the trouble causers of year 5. Last friday, he was beaten up by a group of them on the way home from school "for a laugh". Monday morning - they greeted him as if nothing had happened, they don't see it as abnormal behaviour. They're just mini-hooligans.
Anyway I have decided to move DS to another school. It's the feeder school of his chosen secondary school (at his current school NOBODY is going to the same secondary so he'd start alone) and one of the best primary schools in the city (recently branded "outstanding" by osted.
I've just been to take him around and meet the head (who was lovely). The school was lovely, the children looked lovely, one class was sat there silently on laptops, another class was singing a song in french with the teacher on guitar, in another class a year 5 boy was giving his class a powerpoint presentation - it's a briliant school.
So why do I feel so sad?? I don't know if its because deep down, I know my son will probably take his problems with him. I worry he won't make friends with "nice kids", I worry the "Nice kids" will see him as a trouble causer and stay away from him, I worry that I'm disrupting him dragging him away from a school he's known since he was 4 ....
he starts after christmas. Am I doing the right thing? He seemed to really like the school and I asked him what he would pick if it was totally his choice and picked the new school. Why am I worrying so much??
I feel so guilty.
I was a trouble maker at school. My dad changed jobs when i was going into year 5 and we moved to a different city. I remember my mum sitting me down and explaining that this was a chance to make a fresh start and some nice friends. My life completely changed after that point. I made nice friends. I'm not saying that i was perfect but things certainly got allot better.
I would try having a talk to him. Explain that you don't want to have to worry about him being beat up and this is a chance for a fresh start to make real friends. Hopefully his recent experiences have put him off hanging out with horrid kids.
I would also explain your worries to his new teacher. She might be able to pair him up with some nice kids.
I agree with LB29 - talk to him about it. Tell him it is a chance for a fresh start and to create a new impression of himself. The school move definitely sounds like the right thing to me. Good luck with it.
I also agree. He's old enough now to understand that this is a lovely chance to have a fresh start.
Also, if the school is so lovely, the teachers should make him feel very welcome and ensure that the other children do, too. I wish you and your DS very good luck.
ds1 changed schools when he was 10 - it was a perfect chance to reinvent himself - and he's been miles happier since moving
The beating up gives you a great chance to talk to him about the kinds of people he's ended up being friends with - it's not you being an awkward mother and disapproving, its you showing concern for him. I'm sure he'll see the validity of your point! As e=veryone has said, 10 is old enough to see the chgance of a fresh start and take it on board. You're sad because it's a sad situation to be in, and worried that things may not get better - natural enough, but its a great chance for him.
2 nights ago I saw a big Xmas performance by all of DS's old y6 cohort (DS started at a new school for y6). I felt sad too. They make such a BIG fuss of leaving Y6s, DS has missed out on all that. I can't help but wish things had turned out differently.
But it was right to move him. Leaving him would have been worse.
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