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I think I'm putting my kid off learning! Help?

(13 Posts)
SunitaofDockgreen Fri 03-Dec-10 10:40:24

My DS is lovely and struggles with the 3 'R's. I work part-time, so no real work on those 3 days. Weekend are full and I arrange playdates on one day and swimming on another weekday. DH works long hours all week including weekends.
We read every morning for about 5-10mins. but if we do any other work during the week. It turns into an emotional roller-coaster. Even drawing! I think he trying to be perfect and cannot stand me correcting him. Something that should take 10 mins turns into 30-40mins with the tears, figeting and my bad temper.
I try not interfer to much but just give tips! Should I back off and just let him do it even wrong! How do I help him enjoy the struggle to learn. I'm also untested mild dyslexic and he may have the same problem!
I need clever tricks to stop me putting him off and making the whole thing fun.
So e.e he needs to learn to figure out the tens e.g 10 x 2 = 20 10 x 3 =30 Help

SylvanianFamily Fri 03-Dec-10 10:47:13

How old is he?

And do you really need to work so hard with him? Do the school say there is a problem?

Bramshott Fri 03-Dec-10 10:53:21

"Should I back off and just let him do it even wrong!"

Yes, I'd try that, at least for a bit.

lovecheese Fri 03-Dec-10 10:53:21

Tread warily. He sounds quite young from what you have said - yr1? - and I agree with SF's comment. Give us some more info Sunita.

Nuttybear Fri 03-Dec-10 11:14:22

I'm the OP I namechange for another thread.
He is 6 years old Year 1. The school don't say there is a problem he is in the lower middle but the expections of the school seems very high at the workshops I've been to!
Bramshott In my heart I know I should back off. Any mental tricks to stop myself I know it's odd to ask but I keep fall into the trap of correcting him. I need to have a trick of mentally putting myself in the corner! DH has figured it out by leaving it to me, as he fall into the same trap!

Bramshott Fri 03-Dec-10 11:28:38

Hmm, luckily DH is much better at backing off than me, and will step in if he sees I'm getting stressed with DD1 (7) and her homework. Luckily now she's in Y3 it is much easier to back off and let her do it herself.

What I try to do is make sure she does her homework when she's got the most energy - luckily she only has it over the weekend, so we always try to do it on Saturday morning straight after breakfast. I try to be in the same room so she can ask things, but not hanging over her every word. One tip that the school gave us, was to let them do it, unaided if possible, then latter on (once they've been away to play or watch TV or something) look though it with them, to try to pick up a few errors. We were also advised not to aim for perfection, but pick out 3 errors and work with the child to correct them.

Nuttybear Fri 03-Dec-10 11:33:15

Yep! I'll go for that. Let him get on with it without me looking over his shoulder.
Any more tips will be gratefully received.

SylvanianFamily Fri 03-Dec-10 13:03:12

Tbh - your experience is why homework in primary school can be counter productive.

My Dd is Y2, and gets no homework from her regular school, bar a bit of reading. she does get homework from the Saturday language school though, so I do sympathize.

i honestly, genuinely entirely leave her to it. The language school tends to give about 5 pieces of work ( which I think is excessive, but I support it, since she doesn't get exposed so much to my native tongue during the week). There's a poem to learn, which we run through with supper, emphasizing joining in over perfect recall. Then I give her one worksheet a night as she's going upstairs to bed, and collect it from her desk in the morning. About one sheet a week needs me to 'start' it with her, but then she finishes it upstairs.

I have other dc, and a pressured job, so tbh I couldn't do more, but when I get involved it usually goes worse. she gets sulky if she can't do it - or angry if I supply the answers too quick.

What we do have fun with, though, to support her English education, is lots of projects . She likes to bake, so we'll get out all the bits and bobs, but I'll insist that she weighs and measures everything herself. I've had her sitting there with pencil and paper doubling recipe quantities etc. the benefit is that since it was her idea to start, I feel morally justified that we damn well finish. And then everyone eats cake and says how clever dd is, and happy endings.

She also likes parties. You guessed it: she wants a party, she writes the invites, she writes the shopping list, she set snout the table, she shares the smarties.

it obviously helps that we can be flexible without pressure from the school. Can you talk to your school about your DS having a homework holiday to allow him to rediscover the fun of learning?

Nuttybear Fri 03-Dec-10 13:47:03

SylvanianFamily Thank you. Strangely DS can learn and recite lines with no problem and recall details that surprises me. He used to try and make list and that got painful. The homework has just started so I think, I'll take your tip start him off then leave him to it with me in the room. If he wants to write something, like a letter to Santa. I'll write it down, then let him copy it. At least he has to read it and write it down. I'm going to give him a little pocket money that he'll have to work out. We already do cooking but he doesn't get the big numbers yet e.g 250 gms! But I think back off is the answer

SylvanianFamily Fri 03-Dec-10 14:28:09

the fact is that learning at this age is tremendously empowering in real life.

Worksheets and stuff are quite artificial, compared to the buzz of, say, figuring out that Christmas is on day 25, today we opened window number 3, there are seven days in a week, it means that ONLY THREE WEEKS TO CHRISTMAS!!

lovecheese Fri 03-Dec-10 14:37:02

Absolutely sylvanian; DD2 is good at x tables and has realised that 3x7=21 plus one more means it is nearly Christmas!

pantomimecow Sat 04-Dec-10 18:50:18

I wouldn't do anything if it's upsetting him.I used to do extra work at home with my eldest but didn't bother wiith the other 3.They have a much more enthusiastic approach to school work now.

Nuttybear Sun 05-Dec-10 10:19:26

Thank you al for tips. Panto Thank you Thank you Thank you I will calm down and doing less housework might help too. haven't time to do the advent calendar shock yets!!!!

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