How judgey are teachers/schools of parents who don't turn up for school events

[create]

I really do try to be at everything the school arranges, plays, assemblies, fete, sports day etc, but sometimes, especially if we get short notice, I just can't.

I usually beg a relative/friend to go in my place so that DSs have "someone" but always feel guilty about it.

I know some parents have less flexible jobs/employers and can hardly ever get to these events.

Do the school see these parents as uncaring and uninvolved or is that me being paranoid? I know the other mums sometimes see it that way, but I don't care about them

[pourmeanotherglass]

I feel guilty if I can't make these things- but only because of what my daughters think, I don't really care what the school thinks - I don't expect the teachers notice exactly which parents are in the audience for each assembly etc.

[SandStorm]

I can only speak for my school but we are aware of which parents work and can't make every event - and even those parent who don't work aren't really expected to be at every 'do'.

As a parent I always tried to attend every event but once I started work I had to prioritize. I go to every parents evening and every open afternoon. I go to any performance my children are in and I try to show an interest in other stuff.

If I were honest though, it would be noted in the staff room if you never turned up for anything.

Which is very rare.

[Goblinchild]

How many teachers do you think get to see their children at events if they are during the day?
Evenings most times I do go.

[MoreCrackThanHarlem]

I doubt they judge.
I work in a school so although I can wangle an hour for something 'special', like to watch dd get the Child of Achievement award, I can't do Christmas plays or accompanying on trips.
They know I work. And they work too, so understand.

Am working with a target group of 27 primary children, atm, and only 5 parents showed up to Parent's Evening. That I did judge.

[jennifersofia]

As a teacher, I didn't judge parents who couldn't come to things at all. I myself could never go to things either! The only thing that I did get judgemental about was when parents didn't show for parent teacher conferences. Often it was the parents who really needed to come that didn't!

[Yulephemia]

We're more likely to judge parents who never come to parents' evenings - as previous posters have said, many teacher are themselves parents and can never go to anything on during the day.

People forget that about teachers - blah on about the long holidays - but they forget that teachers have no choice over when to have holidays, and can't take time off the way people in other jobs can.