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How do you read with your reception age child? I have been doing it all wrong!!

21 replies

fel1x · 23/11/2010 19:40

I've come to realise that I am reading with DS all wrong. I'm such a tit.
He is just 5yo and in reception.
He gets a book changed every day or every other day. Usually gets changed at the end of the day so I am the first person to read it with him at home.
I have been reading it through myself to him first as he just looks at it blankly to start with. Then he reads it all the way through back to me.

I've realised today that I must be doing it totally wrong when DS had a friend over for tea and he read his book by himself first by sounding all the words out (he wanted to read a book btw, I wasnt making them do homewlrk on a play date!!)

My DS has Aspergers and for things like this he has a photographic memory. Once I have read it to him once he has memorised the whole book. When he goes into school the next day and the teacher reads with him, he reels off the whole book and I think that they think he can actualy READ it rather than that he's remembered it! Which seems as though is about right from seeing DS's friend be able to read it himself.

Tonight I tested him and didnt read the book first. DS managed to pick out the words 'a' and 'my' and nothing else, then got really cross and squealed at me before throwing the book!

He gets enormously frustrated at things he cant do and hates practising (except with numbers, he is a maths whizz).
I'm not sure what I should be doing with him to help him.
Am so embarassed that I seem to have given his teachers the impression that he's learnt to read already when really he has got hardly anywhere...
Even learning his sounds, he has memorised the order they apppear in his sounds list so finds it hard to sound out words as cant recall the sounds when they are not in the right order!

How do I read with him?? I think I will have to have a chat with his teacher and see what she says?

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thisisyesterday · 23/11/2010 19:43

i think the fact that he has aspergers may make a big difference to you to be honest, so other people's experiences may not help that much?

I used to read the book to ds1, becuase he couldn't read, was rubbish at sounding out and basically point blank refused to try.
so we read it to him, pointing to each word and talking about the pictures

as he got better at learning his letters and sounding them out we started encouraging him more to sound them out in his books and actually attempt to read by himself

it all comes down to the individual child i think. some kids in ds1's class could basically read already by the time they got to school, others (like ds1) were not interested in it at all. so i wouldn't necessarily read anything into what this other child was going

IF you think your ds is just memorising it though it might be worth mentioning to the teacher as they may believe he is much more advanced than he is and you may both need to take a different tack to ensure he is actually learning his letters and sounds

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devilsadvocaat · 23/11/2010 19:47

fel1x, don't be too hard on yourself.
your son's teacher will have been doing other assessments on his reading and should be fairly aware of his phonic ability.

you need to work on learning those sounds now, his teacher should be able to advise the best way.

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FreudianSlimmery · 23/11/2010 19:51

It's definitely worth mentioning, but I'm not sure you can change the way he is learning the words, because of the aspergers it'll be very hard to override his urge to memorise everything - can you get an ed psych to help?

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fel1x · 23/11/2010 19:57

Thank you all, yes thats a good idea to ask the Ed psych. I will try and speak to his teacher first I think and see what she suggests.

I cant believe I havent really twigged until now that this is what is happening! It was only yesteday when he played the whole 3 levels of the 'moron test' on my iphone and I saw him doing it, that I realised how good he is at memorising things.
The moron test is a game where you have to follow clues to press certain things. He obviously cant read any of the clues but has worked each one out through process of elimination and memorised the whole 3 levels (prob about 30 questions!) crazy

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FreudianSlimmery · 23/11/2010 19:59
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cazzybabs · 23/11/2010 20:02

Sometimes I encourage my parents to read the book 1st to their child - especially if he is becoming frustrated.

What about talking about the pictures first.. so you tell the story based on the pictures and then tell him he has to read the proper story.

He could read the words he can do and you can do the rest.

I would talk to his teacher about how she expects you do it

(BTW no such thing as doing it wrong - you are reading with your child big tick!!!!)

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fel1x · 23/11/2010 20:10

Thank you. I do feel a bit better now about reading it to him first - at least I know its not a completely stupid thing to do so dont feel so embarassed Smile

moron test is v good. one of my best apps!

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hobbgoblin · 23/11/2010 20:11

Ability to read does involve some degree of memorisation in that we remember the shape of words and combine this with sounding out. This is what enables us as adult readers to read swiftly - we recognise what words look like without reading many of them iyswim.

It's not that reading the story first hasn't been helpful. It isn't wrong but it probably isn't stretching his ability now. The thing is, it is keeping him interested in reading and that is extremely valuable. You could try talking about the story, recapping, predicting and also try discussing pictures and relating it to the text.

If he is really reluctant to sound out, then you could try reading to him with him able to see the text and then stopping to allow him to say the next word, i.e. "the cat sat on the ..." (he says mat) until he builds up confidence. Then you can mix it up a bit and drop words mid-sentence, etc.

Rhyme helps, having his target words printed out and stuck up in places - same as labelling household stuff helps too. Have stickers that say bed, or lamp or door around and refer to them.

I don't know about how to tackle special needs issues and reading but would imagine that standard methods will still be useful to some extent.

Also remember that reading and writing go hand in hand so he can learn reading skills through writing and vice versa.

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amidaiwish · 23/11/2010 20:12

some kids do read by just memorising every word, DD1 did.

DD2 now in reception has learnt all the sounds so if she can't read a word i tell her to sound out each sound. sometimes that gives her the word (like went) othertimes it doesn't, if she isn't close then i just tell her. she also guesses a lot from the pictures which is fine at this stage.

don't be too hard on yourself, the fact that you are sitting reading with him at all is more than a lot of parents do, plus if he is getting frustrated then i would carry on reading it too him first. has he memorised any of the high frequency words to an extent that he can read them out of context? (in, if, she, he, and, the etc...)

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girliefriend · 23/11/2010 20:20

Oh my goodness you all have reception age children who can read words?!! My dd started school in sept and can recognise her name and thats it, I really didn't think that reading would be on the cards until next year......I always read my dds story 1st and then we go back through it and she picks out her favourite bits!!! She is only 4 bless her I wouldn't want to be pushing her to do things she isn't really ready to do yet. But then I am off the opinion that kids in this country start school too young anyway!!

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MumNWLondon · 23/11/2010 20:23

I honestly don't think there is a right way. Some children learn better by remembering whole words others prefer sounding out. If he recognises words then don't worry about the sounding out...

HOWEVER, why not make little flash cards of the words so once you have read it together and he can read it you can show him the words out of context to see if he can recognise them. After all that is what reading is.

My DD's school send home "games" with all the first stage reception books, it was a laminated A4 page with the words on it and they had to recognise the words out of context.

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amidaiwish · 23/11/2010 20:36

girliefriend, DDs school is quite full on with reading. schools work at different paces. they started the letter sounds in October and since half term bring a book home each evening.

DD was 5 in October and has a 6 year old sister who was reading at 3, so she is quite determined to read!

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PoppetUK · 23/11/2010 20:57

Backing up what everyone else is saying. I wouldn't get yourself a hard time and it certainly won't massive difference.

I've found this link a good one to send to my friends that have got younger kids or even a nanny and grandad that might read

www.thamesview-i.bardaglea.org.uk/documents/cleverfox_002.swf

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PoppetUK · 23/11/2010 20:58
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rabbitstew · 23/11/2010 20:58

Agree with the others - don't beat yourself up, Fel1x. How are you supposed to know automatically that what would be reasonable with almost any other child isn't working with your ds1? I agree you need a bit of help and advice from school and the Ed Psych. And I can relate to the extreme avoidance of engaging with any difficulty - I have (had) one of those! He is now in Year 2 and his attitude to difficulty has improved immeasurably, thanks to help and support at school and gradually dawning understanding on my part of how to get around it at home (I didn't have the benefit of advice from a psychologist until it was too late to help with that for my ds, more's the pity, or I might have got to where I am now a bit sooner). I see myself as a reasonably intelligent and sensitive person, but he has really tried my patience, understanding, resourcefulness, resilience and perserverence over the years!!!!!!!!! I am so proud of his and my achievements to have got past the worst of it, though!

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PoppetUK · 23/11/2010 21:00

Excuse terrible English. Bubba on lap

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RhinestoneCowgirl · 23/11/2010 21:02

DS is 4 and started reception in September. They started doing Jolly Phonics for sounds after half term, and he has only just started with reading scheme reading books.

TBH I have done exactly what you have done, read the book and then DS reads it back. His teacher assures me this is fine for his developmental stage. He is not really interested in sounding things out, and I would rather read lots of great books with him and keep his interest in books (he loves them) than put him off with forcing him to sound out words in the reading scheme books.

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DreamTeamGirl · 24/11/2010 16:41

I cant reply properly now but am book marking this for 9pm tonight.

My DS doesnt have aspergers but does have a kinda photographic memory thing going on, so will reply properly to this later tonight and did exactly the same as yours- but dont panic

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TheLifeOfRiley · 24/11/2010 16:48

My DS is on the spectrum and always asks me to read the reading book first (sly little thing Grin ). I just tell him we'll have a go and if he gets stuck we'll go through the phonic sounds together and figure it out. I then read through it with him ephasising the tone and talking about the characters with him so he grasps the story as well as the wordds.

I read other books to him too when he asks but he has such a good memory he would just memorize his reading books rather than learning them.

I would speak to his teacher as it sounds like a pattern has formed now and of course he will now be frustrated that you are not reading it to him as is your usual routine. Perhaps for a few weeks you can agree to skip the first read of his books while he gets into the habit of giving it a try first of all.

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TheLifeOfRiley · 24/11/2010 16:49

Also just to add, I agree with the other posters don't beat yourself up about this, at least he has been enjoying his reading books, you've been making an effort, and have realised how he is learning.

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fel1x · 30/11/2010 14:28

Just to update - have spoken to the teacher and she was very reassuring!
Apparently lots and lots of children do this (especially as the starter books thet are reading are very repetitive and so easy to remember). She feels its a stage that they need to go through before starting to focus on the actual words and that it always moves on.
She is really happy with how DS is doing with his sounds and said that even if he doesnt stop memorising the books he will learn to read through the phomics work they are doimg anyway.

Panic over Smile

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