what do teachers really mean when they say..

[plus3]

'He's a lovely boy - he reminds me of my son' or

'I know I shouldn't say this, but he has been my favourite to teach this year'

Is this secret code for something else, or do they say it to all parents to reassure them???

[clam]

Well, I certainly wouldn't say "he has been my favourite to teach this year." That's just unprofessional.
However, I have been know to say "he's a lovely boy" and meant it.
The only time I've ever said anything along the lines of "reminds me of my own DC" is when there's been a specific example, such as not wanting to fill in a reading log or whatever. And I shouldn't really do that either, from a truly professional point of view, but I tend to do it only to try to put the parent at ease, if they're about to go off beating themselves up about being a rubbish parent or something.

[montblanche]

It really wouldn't be a compliment if I told you that your ds reminded me of my son.....

[Fayrazzled]

I think it's very unprofessional as a teacher to acknowledge one has a favourite.

[PerpetuallyAnnoyedByHeadlice]

lovely child/pleasure to teach/delightful member of the class - all these are fine - BUT "he's my favourite" is just unprofessional in the extreme!

[MollieO]

Personally I'd be delighted however unprofessional it may be. Surely better to hear something like that than 'I've never taught a child like ds' which is what I had all of last year.

[ProfessorLaytonIsMyLoveSlave]

"He's my favourite" is unprofessional unless they say it to all the parents, in which case it's probably still unprofessional in the same way. "He's a lovely boy" or "he reminds me of my son" are OK (although I'd expect an "he reminds me of my son" to be linked to one specific character trait or to one particular incident, rather than to generalised loveliness, otherwise it sounds rather like showing off).

[Tinuviel]

Would never say the word 'favourite' - as PP have said, it's unprofessional. Comparison with my son would be for reassurance as in "Lots of boys that age can be disorganised/not listen to instructions/be very vague/get distracted rather easily!"

[plus3]

Thank you for the answers... It has been 2 different teachers. Last year's was the favourite quote, as I was thanking her for huge amount of effort I felt she had put in with Ds. I think she had found him challenging ( suggesting that he probably has SPD) but equally rewarding. I recognised that it was not the most professional thing to say & would like to think others were favourites in different ways.

The comparison quote was this morning in reference to my utterly leading question of 'do you think Ds does have SPD' ( a resounding yes btw) but mixed with in lots of ways he is like....

Just feels like there are alot of he's lovely but.....

Being far too sensitive about aren't I

[bumpercar]

Sorry to be naive but what is SPD?

[plus3]

sorry SPD = sensory processing disorder. It raises it's head in the classroom because the children found it hard to concentrate, have trouble with the processing aspect of thinking and then writing for example. It's on the autistic spectrum and I haven't taken very well to the idea that my DS may have it because I want everything to be fine.

[purpledolphin]

Sensory processing disorder does not necessarily mean he is on the autistic spectrum ( although extremely common for people on the autistic spectrum), It can also be a feature of developmental co-ordination disorder (dyspraxia) and ADHD. Though there is also overlap with these conditions. Just for information though.

[purpledolphin]

Sensory processing disorder does not necessarily mean he is on the autistic spectrum ( although extremely common for people on the autistic spectrum), It can also be a feature of developmental co-ordination disorder (dyspraxia) and ADHD. Though there is also overlap with these conditions. Just for information though.

[mattellie]

We?ve been told DS is ?a lovely boy? lots of times ? we?ve always understood it to mean that he?s not the sharpest tool in the box but is no problem in class!

Teachers out there, does that sounds about right to you?

[spanieleyes]

Mattellie
sounds about right to me