12 yo DD, help!

(18 Posts)
Passthecake30 Wed 08-Sep-21 08:39:24

I find my dd (11) gets worse when she eats a lot of sugar. Sometimes she has a bad day/experience and has an immense sugar craving, so I’m trying to explain about sugar highs/lows and trying to tackle it with her diet.

bendmeoverbackwards Wed 08-Sep-21 08:22:55

And it’s normal to find your parents highly annoying. Think Kevin the teenager. They’re starting to prepare for leaving the nest.

bendmeoverbackwards Wed 08-Sep-21 08:20:03

All very normal, they become like toddlers again.

They’re going through a massive shift and take it out on parents as a safe outlet.

Re the not saying the right thing - my advice would be to avoid too much general conversation. Let them initiate things if they want to talk. When their brains are in a whirl and having to deal with hormones, school, friendship issues and so on, sometimes a simple question from a parent can tip them over the edge.

Be around in the background. Let them know you love them unconditionally even with the outbursts. I often send my dd a text or WhatsApp saying I love her or a silly or cute GIF saying good night. She likes that.

Mamamia35 Sat 21-Aug-21 12:56:15

@R0tational you have done the right thing to retreat to another room. We've had so much confrontation when I hang about, I find leaving and ignoring is the best way of dealing with it (easier said that done though). This time will pass. It reminds me of the toddler days only they are much better with the wounding vocabulary. Everybody I speak to is suffering similar antics.

R0tational Sat 21-Aug-21 08:43:39

I am very worried about how I will cope as a single parent with MH issues of my own. I have come to my bedroom as I feel attacked and moaned at non stop which isnt great. Dont really know how to move forward.

househuntinginthesouth Wed 18-Aug-21 01:16:39

I don't have any advice but my DD is exactly the same. I can't believe how much she has changed recently and feel quite sad as she used to be so sweet and kind and now is very selfish and rude a lot of the time. I keep trying to remind myself I was probably the same at that age, all the hormonal changes that they can't control plus the craziness 2020 onwards with covid, lockdowns, school being on/off etc....but my goodness she is hard work now and very stressful so I totally sympathise sad

parapluiepliant Wed 18-Aug-21 01:02:44

Hi I know this thread is a few months older but I’m going through the same and it’s horrific. Just wanted to send you solidarity. My gorgeous kind, funny, clever daughter hates me with venom. I also blame social media and have confiscated her phone. It’s made things even worse. We’re at breaking point x

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Pinkyxx Mon 24-May-21 08:48:04

@BaconAndAvocado I'm having the exact same experience right now, and for the last I'd say 10 months. Mine's year 7... just started her periods a couple of months ago.

It's just awful, literally walking on egg shells and having my head bitten off non-stop. I've tried to ask what it is I'm doing which is bothering her quite so much & how I can help, but she doesn't know what it is, and feels no one can help - she's just a ball of angry/sad emotion. It's quite frankly heart breaking to watch, and be a part of.

I'm hoping some wise MN's will come along with words of wisdom and I've run out of ideas as well..

Mamamia35 Sat 22-May-21 10:22:46

BaconAndAvocado for yourself, it's worth listening to the Louise Newson podcasts. Inform yourself and enquire about HRT from your doctor. I've been on it a few months and can notice a difference in my body.

BaconAndAvocado Wed 19-May-21 18:43:59

Mamania I'm also peri menopausal. It's a bloody nightmare 😳

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Mamamia35 Wed 19-May-21 17:23:54

Mine is 11 and exactly the same. Tired of getting my head bitten off. It's not pleasant. And I'm peri menopausal so a hormonal catastrophe all round. I feel your pain.

BaconAndAvocado Wed 19-May-21 14:54:22

Bump

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BaconAndAvocado Tue 18-May-21 14:55:58

It started to escalate a few months ago.
I find I'm always walking on eggshells around her in case I say the wrong thing or dh t say the right thing.
It makes me so sad to say this but it honestly makes spending time with her difficult as it's often fraught.
I really want to be close to her but I can't see how.

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Hellcatspangle Tue 18-May-21 13:21:57

Just because she hasn't started her periods doesn't mean she's not hormonal...maybe she is about to start soon and it will settle down when she does. When did she start being like this?

BaconAndAvocado Tue 18-May-21 13:07:15

She hasn't started her periods and I wonders whether and/or how that will change things???

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BaconAndAvocado Tue 18-May-21 13:06:33

So 3 years to go!!!

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Nyfluff Tue 18-May-21 11:14:53

In my experience it gets a lot better around 15 flowers

BaconAndAvocado Tue 18-May-21 11:13:03

I have two older sons and it was never like this!

She has changed from a loving, sweet, hardworking child into a stroppy, at times very rude and uncaring girl.

I try and be patient but I sometimes lose it with her.

She is in Year 8 and, although she took a while to settle in Year 7 and then the breaks from school life, she has a good group of friends.

I know the teenage years are supposed to be tricky but she’s not even 13 yet and I’m struggling.

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