This is a Premium feature
To use this feature subscribe to Mumsnet Premium - get first access to new features see fewer ads, and support Mumsnet.Start using Mumsnet Premium
Dd is 11 y6 and I've allowed it once few month ago
We started sleep overs about aged 7. Usually only with besties so we knew the families a bit from birthdays and park visits. Just moved areas but still wouldn’t hesitate to allow it. I would feel more comfy if both parents or just mum present, I have to admit
My DC have been on what they call 'sleepovers' since they were tiny. To begin with, it was all of us staying over with family and the cousins sharing rooms, or staying with uni friends and the children sleeping in the same room but by the time they were 8ish, they were having sleepovers with school friends, usually for birthday parties so with a couple of other friends. Over the past 14 months there have been no real life sleepovers but my two have enjoyed virtual sleepovers with a friend or two at a time. That might work as a compromise for you at the moment?
I've never felt I've had to set a minimum level of knowing someone before letting my two sleep over at a friend's but if I felt uncomfortable, I wouldn't hesitate to decline an invitation. We've had friends we don't really know sleep over here and now our DC are in secondary school, always make sure the other parents have our number so they can get in touch.
Been having a read through some of the older sleepover threads but they weren’t quite what I was after. The camping trip thread inspired my thinking.
Just wondering what the general consensus is with sleepovers?
My DCs have gone to the same school since nursery so I suppose we’d have heard if any of the parents were axe murderers but I feel myself starting to dread them being asked to or wanting to have sleepovers. To be clear, it hasn’t happened yet but I’m sure it will in the next couple of years.
I always thought my DM was very overprotective of us as she wasn’t keen on us going for sleepovers and there was a blanket ban if it was only the Dad that was home. I don’t want to be as bad as her but I probably do actually feel the same way and would rather it didn’t have to happen. I’m also wary of going the other way and being too lenient to try and not be like her!
It just feels strange to let your child go and stay in a house you’ve maybe not been in, with people you’ve only ever said hello to but don’t know very well. I’m not sure what my actual concern would be - how likely is it that they’re going to be abused in some way by a school friends parent? Highly unlikely I’m sure but there’s just something about it. I’d feel awkward inviting kids too because I’d presume their parents felt the same way!
I’m sure after we’ve done a few and it’s the same friends again and again we won’t give it a second thought though!
I’m also well aware that when they move up to secondary school it’s a whole different ball game too with new friends so that’s something else entirely. Friendships aren’t my strong point and I want to do everything possible to help my children develop strong friendships.
All in all I’m just curious what age you started allowing it or encouraging it? Did you have a level of how well you needed to know the parents before you allowed it? That type of thing.
My children are 9 and 10.