TLDR version; DS (11) being upset by girl(friend), looking for books to help him understand healthy relationships?
Full version:
My DS is in Y6 and throughout this year has had a 'girlfriend' (such as this is, they are each other in school as in same class, but that's it). It's been rather stressful however...
DS has a phone, which we check if he's been getting upset (he knows this) and it's clear that Jane (not real name) is quite, um, demanding and (and I know she's only 11 so I hate to say it, but) manipulative.
As an example, before Christmas when school still open for all, Jane was pressurising him to kiss her, he didn't want to and it was really upsetting him. He took to waiting to walk home with me and younger DD to avoid her after school. Xmas hols/lockdown 3 put end to this, they broke up over lockdown and all happier in his world. I thought/hoped he'd moved on.
Cue end of lockdown and it's all 'back on'. Except now Jane is accusing him of being "too close" to other girls in his class, not asking her to the Y6 'prom' (don't get me started on that...) properly, sending random GIFs about 'what girls say and what they mean', etc causing him get upset and confused. He's even recently taken to walking home a longer way to avoid these other girls and appease her attacks.
He's never been a good talker, and despite the fact that we make him know he can tell us anything without judgement, he keeps everything bottled up. When, last autumn he finally revealed the fact that Jane was his girlfriend to me, I had to promise not to tell DH.
This evening he was a state. He refused to tell me but it was clear it was Jane related. I told him he had to tell me or the phone was confiscated indefinitely. He finally wrote me a note explaining Jane had broken up with him. He was upset so told a couple of his close (male) friends. Jane found out (don't know how) and had a massive rant at him saying he had messed up.
I'm hoping it's all over now, BUT I really want him to understand it's not ok to be treated like that by anyone.
He's really bad at talking but loves reading, so wondered if anyone could recommend books for boys on this area? Everything seems to be aimed at girls.
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Healthy relationships - 11 y/o boy
3 replies
gottogetdressed · 18/04/2021 20:16
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