DS10 back chat and lying

(8 Posts)
ZigZagToTheBeach Fri 23-Oct-20 20:47:29

DS10 is frequently answering back, ignoring or lying when he is asked to stop doing something/do something/turn something off/end a game/etc and, whilst I feel irritated and exasperated by it, DH is infuriated by it and it quickly escalates into a full blown argument between the two of them. At times I think that DS is maybe doing it to push DH's buttons wind him up and often I think he's just trying out his luck. I have spoken to DS about how to respond to someone's reasonable request (eg. to stay sat down during a mealtime, to brush his teeth, to turn off the computer once his game finishes) but it falls on deaf ears. Just in the past two hours he has ignored a number of requests to stay sat down to eat his dinner and to stop stretching over his plate and therefore dragging his sleeve through his food, lied about having brushed his teeth, lied about having carried out piano practice, started a new game of Fortnite when his last game finished and he'd been asked to turn it off, and these things are happening most days. DH has ended up shouting which I HATE and it doesn't work because DS then either laughs or talks back. I've tried talking which also isn't working. I have this sense of dead about the next few years as I feel that this is just going to get worse. Help! What do I do/say???

OP’s posts: |
PeaceAndHarmoneeee Fri 23-Oct-20 21:04:36

Consequences.

No shouting or arguing, just 'finish your game and do x, if you don't you'll have no tech for the next 24 hours'. Or ' you need to do your piano now then you can have x'

And make sure you enforce the consequences!

ZigZagToTheBeach Fri 23-Oct-20 21:18:44

Thank you. I do need to do more of this. I find the whole "ohhh but" thing exhausting.

OP’s posts: |
Elisabella01 Mon 26-Oct-20 08:59:11

I also have this with DS and the “ohhh but” thing. I admit I leave him on PS4 because I’m stuck in zoom meetings and it’s easier for me so I am making a rod for my own back and I need to waken up if I’m honest. However, enforcing consequences? See when you’re hard and just do it? Works a treat. I used to give warnings as per super nanny when he was little bit now, if he repeats the same behaviour there’s no warning. Just switched off at the wall. I’ve just started a degree so let this slip but I’m going to start it again because I promise you it works really well.

ZigZagToTheBeach Mon 26-Oct-20 10:25:07

Thanks for the above @Elisabella01. I think you're right that I do need to be a bit more firm!

OP’s posts: |
Elisabella01 Mon 26-Oct-20 11:20:10

Me too. I definitely have to be firmer. I get firm for a while and have zero tolerance, then his behaviour improves and we kind of “coast” for a while where I don’t have to be so hard. Then it slips and I realise now I have to be firmer to reaffirm that balance. Thank heavens for chocolate I tell you!!!

Jesusisking Sat 14-Nov-20 13:41:38

Always remember to pray about the situation, God can do all things

Hoppinggreen Sat 14-Nov-20 13:46:11

Yes, prayer will definitely sort this out
OR you could be a lot firmer, for example if DS doesn’t come of Fortnite when asked he is asked once more then 5 minutes later I just walk in and turn the TV off. Don’t engage in arguments, discussion or negotiation
Or sacrifice some chickens, that may work

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