My feed
Premium

Please
or
to access all these features

Parenting a preteen can be a minefield. Find support here.

Preteens

Being left out

6 replies

hopeishere · 01/02/2020 08:06

DS has a "best" friend. However I think this friend doesn't see him in the same way. I keep seeing on social media him out with another friend and DS has not been invited.

My issues are DS doesn't seem that bothered. Which is fair enough but we've had issues before where people were not being nice to him / about him and he couldn't see it. He's a very open trusting friendly wee boy.

Secondly I'm really good friends with the others boys mums. Part of me wants to ask why is DS being excluded!! They're both a bit more hands off than me so while I'll check that everyone is invited if something is planned I doubt they do.

OP posts:
Report
superram · 01/02/2020 08:16

My daughters best friend is having a sleepover tonight and dd isn’t invited. I’m like you and would prefer to include everyone (which has its downsides). Dd says she’s annoyed rather than upset but she’s both..,,,

Report
hopeishere · 01/02/2020 14:41

It's trickier when they arrange stuff themselves so parents might not know what's going on.

OP posts:
Report
JiltedJohnsJulie · 02/02/2020 10:46

How old is your DS? It gets harder as they get older though doesn't it? When they are little you can encourage other friendships more easily.

Change really not see it though? That would worry me.

Report
hopeishere · 02/02/2020 11:10

He's nearly 12.

It's like he's so nice and trusting himself that he can't see or think or understand why other people wouldn't be the same - if that makes sense. He's like a wee eager puppy.

OP posts:
Report
millian · 05/02/2020 23:03

As a parent it is of course hard to see your own children treated any less than how you'd treat them yourself. As long as DS is not being taken advantage of and he was aware that he wasn't invited and doesn't seem bothered then maybe, perhaps DS likes to be excluded, he likes to have people he can call friends but he also likes his own time where he doesn't have to be around them, he perhaps don't agree with their ways sometimes and enjoys his own company more than with them but nevertheless they're a friend to have.

Report
hopeishere · 06/02/2020 11:50

Thanks @millian that's a really useful way of looking at it.

OP posts:
Report
Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.