Panic Attacks, Anger, Tearfulness in 10yr old girl

[splodge2001]

DD is having constant meltdowns. She's always been tricky, very OCD and precise. She can't say anything affectionate and finds it hard to say sorry. Recently she started getting panic attacks. She has severe allergies and thinking she'd eaten something she is allergic to was the trigger. She gets super angry and storms off most dinner times. She bangs her leg or screams. One of the things that triggers her is if we tell her something she already knows or was about to do eg. "Please don't do X". Sometimes the anger leads on to tearfulness and ranting about how she has no friends and it's all "fake" . When she calms down she is completely different, she chats - though nothing personal as she gets triggered when you get personal. She plays with friends after school and when you see them they seem to be having fun.
However, she's having a lot of meltdowns and tells us that we're the worst parents she knows and that we're the reason why she has no friends as we have embarrassed her. I feel like we're dealing with a Jeckll and Hyde. The swings are extreme. She has paranoid thoughts too. We were in the supermarket and she thought someone was rolling their eyes at me and she suggested I confront them.
All sort of things are going through my head - is she developing mental illness? She's already seeing a therapist for other issues and we are due to have a meeting about what happens next.

I'm just afraid about her direction of travel. This isn't going to get easier is it?

[Elmo311]

Can't help OP, but bumping for you in the hope someone else responds. It sounds so hard to deal with, I'm sure you aren't alone x

[Tableclothing]

What are the other issues?

[Boyo7]

could it be hormonal?

[Goawayquickly]

This was the first sign of what became Anorexia in my daughter.
Same age too.
Feel free to message me if you want to talk that possibility over.

[splodge2001]

Anorexia is one of the things I am really concerned about. She is super skinny and extremely sensitive. I fear that she isn't going to like what puberty does to her body.

[splodge2001]

There are no other issues at the moment.

[splodge2001]

I think she's stepping into puberty so there is probably some hormonal component.

[Goawayquickly]

splodge then please dm me, if it's a possibility for your daughter the quicker you act the better. There are several mumsnetters I've helped get the right treatment and resources.

[splodge2001]

I have messaged you already. Thanks

[Goawayquickly]

I’ve not received anything, I’ll message you and if you get it maybe you could copy and paste your original back to me?

[ItStartedWithAKiss241]

Hello, my DD10 is extremely moody/says horrible stuff to me/so, so hormonal.
She’s actually a lovely girl to the outside world tho! And our other children are not the same! So I think it’s hormonal x

[splodge2001]

Mine is uptight and a very rigid thinker with OCD. I think with hormones on top of everything else she's under a lot of strain. She needs to be in control which is why I'm nervous about what happens next.

[MummyPinch]

I came here to find some advice or a recommendation on good family therapists. DD is 9 and around her birthday this summer she started developing anxiety attacks, says she hates me and says she hates school and her life, wants to run away and end her life. We are all on high alert.

[JenHJM]

My daughter is only 8 and showing signs of early puberty. Also has severe allergies. Really sounds like could be hormones and stress. Having allergies is very excluding at an age when all they want to is fit in. It's probably hard for her to process those emotions. If she had any allergy attacks recently that could further put her on edge. Just give her lots of assurance and love. If she feels secure she will learn to react better

[Tillymintsmama]

I relate to this so much. Thank you for posting.

How much screen time / social media does your DD have? I find it definitely affects my daughter's mood swings. She is much better when she has limited time, although this is also a source of arguments!!!

[Doginahat]

You could almost be writing about my 9yo. Following.