Daughter and lack of height and puberty

[LSmith789]

Hi all, I’m new to posting so apologies if I miss anything..
My daughter is 13 next summer and she has always been small. It started to be more obvious at the end of primary when her friends were having growth spurts and it is more obvious now. She is an only child.
She is 138cm tall, grows approx 5cm a year, and is not showing any signs of puberty beginning. I am a worrier, my husband prefers to just wait and see on these things, but I’m concerned that not only about her growth, but that she doesn’t start with puberty and then it’s too late.
Is anyone able to give experiences of similar with their daughters.... and what has the result been?
Has anyone gone to the doctors nhs or private on the same issue and what were your experiences?
Thank you all in advance, any help would be appreciated. xx

[KioreWahine]

Check out the Child Growth Foundation on facebook. They will be able to give you advice.

[sofato5miles]

So she is 12? My daughter didn't start growing until she was past 13 but was still in the 140s at 12.

One of the first signs of puberty onset is growth in foot size. What size shoe is she? Are her feet growing? My DD's feet grew a lot at 12 but only now, at 13y6m are her boobs and body hair coming in. No periods as yet. But she has shot up to 158cm so far this year.

We live overseas and she had a hand xray that looked at her bone growth plates in her wrist and gave a predicted height, so there is definitely science available.

Maybe speak to a doctor to check but also remember that we really do come in all shapes and sizes.

[DeeCeeCherry]

My DD has always been small. Now aged 26 she's 5ft. I had to reassure her a lot in young years, as she was so sad and self-conscious about being small.

I never made a big deal of it. Told her there are lots of small women and when she grew up, it wouldn't matter so much to her. & it's true. She has a good degree and fantastic job, also has her own business alongside, and is getting married next year. Being petite hasn't stopped her achieving.

I forget now that she's small. Thinking back to my young years, at 5ft 6 I was one of the tall girls at school. Certainly wouldn't be the case now.

We did the hand/bone xray too. Predicted height was 5ft 3 but obviously that was wrong

[AJPTaylor]

What is the family history on height and reaching puberty?

[shearwater]

My daughter is 13 next summer and she has always been small

...and next summer...Honestly don't worry. DD1 seemed to stick at 4'9"/4'10" for years in Y5/Y6/Y7, and went from one of the taller ones, to suddenly all her friends, it seemed, having huge growth spurts while she was left behind, and became one of the shortest.

It sounds like your daughter is growing steadily anyway, and if she has always been petite, perhaps she will always be so. Her friends will likely stop growing earlier, she will likely have a growth spurt in the next year or so. DD1 went from 4'11" to 5'4" between year 8 and the end of Y9.

[Kenram]

I didn't start my periods myself until I was in my final year of high school and don't recall it ever effecting me I was in about year 9 when I started developing

[highheelsandwitcheshats]

Hello. I don't have a preteen or a daughter but I can speak from personal experience.

I'm 5'0 (152cm). At 12 I was around the same height as your daughter. I stopped growing around 15. I started my periods when I was 13 (about 13 years 6 months ish). Public hair came first, around the age of 14 and underarm hair came later. Breast buds started to develop around 13 too.

It sounds like your daughter is growing at a steady rate that is right for her. She may suddenly have a growth spurt, she may stay small. My husband was one of the smallest in his year in year 9. He recalls going back to school in the September of year 10 and not only was he suddenly was he one of the tallest but 'all the girls had boobs' too. He eventually finished growing upwards at 18, and 6'2 which is when we met. However, he continued to fill out over the years and now has broad shoulders and thighs. Looking at pictures of us together when he was 18, he was still a boy. Now he's a man. He stopped filling out around 24. Just trying to show that we all grow at different rates and in different ways.

Your daughter sounds like she's developing perfectly normally. She may always be short (there are 11 year olds at mg children's school that are taller than me), but I can tell you that that is okay too. Yes, it's a pain to get things from high shelves (you learn to be resourceful), but you can usually get to the front of things like concerts of a crowded bar because you can fit through small gaps.

I don't really notice my height. It doesn't define me. It's just part of who I am. Your daughter knows no different and her height will only become an issue if other people make it one.

[Magicmama92]

All people develop different just becouse her friends have grown dosnt mean she should have. Puberty can start after that age. I would just leave it until shes older you dont want to make her think anything wrong by seeing a gp. Some people just develop later or slowly. I had my first period at 13 but some people I know didnt until they were 15 it's not really set in stone.

[ProfFlitwick]

Honestly I wouldn't worry too much. I was quite little at 12/13 and had a growth spurt later, I'm now 5"9! I didn't start developing breasts til I was about 14, then had first period 3 months before 15th birthday. I was relieved, I thought it would never happen

[LSmith789]

Thank you I will look at that.

[aweedropofsancerre]

I would suggest you go along to the GP or book a private appointment with an endocrinologist who would be the best person to see. Your DD is likely to be absolutely fine. No one on here can say whether her growth is normal or not. My DS is 12 and is monitored every 4 mths to ensure he is going through puberty. He has growth hormone issues and been monitored since a baby but he may need to help with puberty. There are subtle signs the specialists check.

[LSmith789]

Sofato5miles.
Thank you, I didn’t realise that the feet size was so closely related. She is size 3.5 shoe and has grown about a whole size since Jan 2019 as I checked I bought her size 2.5 then.
I think my worry is that we wait for the puberty to kick in and then what if it doesn’t start (I know that sounds really neurotic, and I’m not sure whether that would really actually happen).
I think the nhs don’t really rush to assist unless there is a real problem. I mentioned my worries to drs when we went for an unrelated thing about 6-8 months ago, but they didn’t seem concerned as height was growing steadily on line. I still have the red book from when she was born. When she was born she was on 25th percentile - then between 6 months and 2 years (not sure when as I stopped measuring her) she dropped to between 2nd and 9th percentile, and that’s where she’s stayed.
I mentioned the hand X-ray at the drs when we went but they said they don’t know much about that and it would be a specialist that would have to do that. I’m not sure what criteria they use here in UK for this X-ray as it is obviously higher cost and I guess with things as they are in nhs they may try to put you off if not necessary.

[LSmith789]

AJPTaylor.
I am 5,3” and DH is 5,7”. However I am sure I have shrunk as I am certain I used to be 5,5” (165cm). My mum and dad are fairly small I guess or average as are husbands parents. However my brother is v. tall (6ft ish). Sister in law petite...
I have done the predicted height and it comes up between 150-158cm ish.

[Yesyesitsme]

Age 12 is average for starting periods so it's very early to start worrying. And her height doesn't sound unusually small either. The fact that she's growing 5cm a year should reassure you - there's no suggestion she's stopped growing.

[PlanDeRaccordement]

She is still very young. If she does endurance that can also delay her period starting. Mine did not start until I was 16.

[kjhkj]

She sounds fine. I'm not sure why you would be concerned? Clearly you and your DH are on the shorter side anyway and so she's unlikely to be a six foot gazelle.

[Sittinonthefloor]

Some people are smaller than others. Your daughter is only 12 so no need to worry - all very normal.

[CrystalTits]

Hi OP. It’s good that you’re monitoring this. I agree with pp that you should ask your GP for a referral to an endocrinologist, especially as she has dropped a couple of centiles on the growth chart.

My DS was very small for his age, looked much younger and wasn’t developing through puberty. We waited until he was 16 before going to GP because I’m short and his dad was a late developer in his teens so we assumed he had the worst of the gene pool! But it turned out he had an issue with his pituitary which regulates growth hormone etc.

In hindsight I wish we hadn’t made that assumption and told him it would ‘happen eventually’ but thankfully it was identified just in time to treat and get him growing.

Please push to see the endocrine consultant though, don’t be fobbed off with a general paediatrician.
Hope they are able to put your mind at rest.

[LSmith789]

Thank you all those reassuring saying that she may just be small. I agree and had thought that would be the case.
It’s not so much the being small part - although that is obviously related.
It’s worrying that puberty may not/never start... that’s what is the issue for me really, and I know it sounds stupid. But still....

[CrystalTits]

Ps I think my point in posting was that although she is only 12 it’s important to be aware of short stature combined with lack of puberty. Many people are short, of course, but sometimes there are underlying factors which can be addressed - if DD continues to show very little growth then don’t be afraid to step it up with the GP.

[Apolloanddaphne]

I am not certain height is very influential in the start of puberty. My DD2 is tall, always has been, but didn't start her periods until she was 16.

[LSmith789]

Aweedrop and Crystaltits.
Thank you for the messages.
What exactly is that then that your sons have been diagnosed with and what is the treatment please if you don’t mind discussing?
Is it caused by anything and what are the things they look for - apart from short stature of course?

[WWlOOlWW]

I was 5'10" aged 13 with size 8 feet.. I didn't start developing until I was 15 and started my periods aged 16.

I wouldn't worry.

[Slappadabass]

They are all so different, my DD is 11 but started puberty around 9. She already has large-ish breasts, some pubic hair and has had a small period (I think she will start properly soon if her mood swings are anything to go by) my mum was 9 when she started her periods, but I was 14.

My DDs best friend is very tall for her age, towers over my DD but hasn't showed any signs of puberty. I'd try not to worry, it's just like everything else in life, we are all unique. If your really worried, speak to your doctor, or see if there's a school nurse available, it's what they are there for!

[Slappadabass]

I didn't realise about the shoe size either, that will explain why we are going through shoes like there's no tomorrow, only bought my DD shoes a month or so ago and they are too tight already, measured her and shes gone up half a size, in a month! Before puberty she was the same size for years, suppose it makes sense!