It’s a catch 22.
My son is 11 and although I have brought him up to be kind and caring which he is I now need him to be ready for secondary school.
He’s more like a 8 year old.
He won’t play fight and cries when someone tries
He still likes to watch cartoons
He won’t try any tricks on scooters or bikes because he’s scared
He won’t climb a tree because he’s scared
He’s scared to stay at anyone else’s house other than his dads or mine.
He cries when he falls over
He cries when he’s emotionally upset
He won’t play football or any sport for fear of being hurt
I live in a cul de sac street where everyone knows each other. Everyone has kids. It’s great. But he only plays with the younger ones and not his age.
He is in a group on WhatsApp with all his school mates but won’t engage in conversations. He only reads them.
What do I do?
Although I don’t want him to grow up too fast I kind of need him to so he is ready.
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Son is not growing up :(
Abcdefgh12345 · 30/08/2019 16:39
My dd is nearly 13 and watches cartoons 
.
Do you have a good parenting relationship with his father?
Any problems between your son and his dad?
I will be frank and say I think you expect him to be a certain way, more of a tough boy, when he clearly isn't. Why not just accept him for who he is?
Well he doesn't have to climb trees and playfight does he and boys are allowed to cry are they not ? Are you expecting him to mature into some gruff teenager who rolls about the dirt with his mates
Ds is 17 and left school this summer. His cartoon interest (which included mlp until very recently) now includes anime. He didn’t play any sport until 14/15 when he decided he wanted to be good at basketball, but he had been through swimming lessons and we pushed him through to lifeguard. He has never played football in his life.
He has two sisters and spent most of his formative years wearing purple tutus. At 10/11 he would hide behind the door if he saw kids out in the neighbourhood as the idea of social contact was overwhelming.
We had one rule, which was that he needed to choose two activities (of any sort) to take part in, as otherwise it was pretty clear he would prefer never to leave the house. This was sometimes a struggle. 
He variously went to dance classes, scouts, swimming lessons, then eventually basketball. Every year we had to gently encourage (push) him to choose.
At 17 he has been lifeguarding for nearly two years and is taking a gap year before a performing arts degree. He has a small but tight group of friends that go on camping trips. And he still watches cartoons.
11 is just a baby. Don’t force him to act macho and pretend he isn’t a child. He is.
Please don't tell him not to cry, or imply in anyway that he shouldn't be crying because it's 'immature.' Hugely damaging.
Kids are different. So what he doesn't want to break his neck on the scooter, play fight or climb trees 
If he doesn't feel comfortable, he doesn't.
He's still so small.
I know he's going to school with teenagers now but honestly most of them won't bat an eyelid at a year 7 acting like a child - since he is one.
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